Aspirin quotes:

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Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache. -- Katt Williams
There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer Aspirin; take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain. -- John Powell
I don't even take aspirin. -- Eric Davis
Pop music is aspirin and the blues are vitamins. -- Peter Tork
We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children. -- Gloria Estefan
Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures. -- M. F. K. Fisher
Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin. -- Gore Vidal
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. -- John Barrymore
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life. -- Dave Attell
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. -- Joan Rivers
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. -- Groucho Marx
Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything. -- Nuno Oliveira
Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. -- Gerald Durrell
Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive. -- Harvey Penick
I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease. -- Ralph Abernathy
You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly. -- Foster Friess
People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right? -- Karl Pilkington
I must be right. Never an aspirin. Never injured a day in my life. The whole country, the whole world, should be doing my exercises. They'd be happier. -- Joseph Pilates
When there's an ache, you want to be like aspirin, not vitamins. Aspirin solves a very particular problem someone has, whereas vitamins are a general "?nice to have' market. -- Reed Hastings
The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about. -- Dean Martin
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills. -- Malcolm Muggeridge
There is little that can be said about most economic goods. A toothbrush does little but clean teeth. Aspirin does little but dull pain. Alcohol is important mostly for making people more or less drunk ... There being so little to be said, much is to be invented. -- John Kenneth Galbraith
I have periods now, like normal girls; I too am among the knowing, I too can sit out volleyball games and go to the nurse's for aspirin and waddle along the halls with a pad like a flattened rabbit tail wadded between my legs, sopping with liver-colored blood. -- Margaret Atwood
Estimates suggest that from 20 to 50 million Americans routinely, albeit illegally, smoke marijuana without the benefit of direct medical supervision. Yet, despite this long history of use and the extraordinarily high numbers of social smokers, there are simply no credible reports to suggest that consuming marijuana has caused a single death. By contrast, aspirin, a commonly used, over-the-counter medicine, causes hundreds of deaths each year. -- Frances M. Young
We are close to dead. There are faces and bodies like gorged maggots on the dance floor, on the highway, in the city, in the stadium; they are a host of chemical machines who swallow the product of chemical factories, aspirin, preservatives, stimulant, relaxant, and breathe out their chemical wastes into a polluted air. The sense of a long last night over civilization is back again. -- Norman Mailer
Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin. -- Bill James
I don't take any of the medications I took when I was younger: antibiotics, antacids, aspirin, asthma inhalers, ulcer medication, allergy shots. -- Alicia Silverstone
No pills, not even aspirin, and certainly no supplements ever enter my mouth - everything I need comes from my fish and vegetarian diet, which incorporates many different kinds of fruit and vegetables every week. -- David H. Murdock
Take charge of hidden, sneaky sources of chronic inflammation that can trigger illness and disease by wearing comfortable shoes daily, getting an annual flu vaccine, and asking your doctor why you're not on a statin and baby aspirin if you're over the age of forty. -- David Agus
After the sale of Celtel, I really wanted to give the money back, and I had a number of choices - to go and buy masses of blankets and baby milk or to go into Darfur or Congo. That would have been very nice actually, but it's just like an aspirin: it doesn't deal with the problem. -- Mo Ibrahim
You can't just take an aspirin and sit around and have 12 donuts and think, 'I took my aspirin so I'm not going to have a heart attack.' It's really important each person take personal responsibility for their health. You can't keep thinking that someone else is going to take care of it. You have to be part of the solution. -- Corbin Bernsen
A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat. -- Chuck Palahniuk
George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin. -- Jim Frey
Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast. -- Groucho Marx
My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin. -- Holly Black
Most things in this world donÂ´t work, aspirin do. -- Kurt Vonnegut
The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think. -- Harry Sinden
I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache. -- Paul McCartney
Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces. -- Noel Coward
I would say that it's an awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to the old people's Disneyland. -- Don Van Vliet
When a regular person gets sick, they take an aspirin. When a writer gets sick, they take notes.... -- Chuck Palahniuk
The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin. -- Gary Player
Cinema never saved anyone's life, it is not a medicine that will save anyone's life. It is only an aspirin. -- Luc Besson
Peacekeeping works in some situations, but it very often needs other ingredients. Peacekeeping is not the aspirin of international security. -- Jean-Marie Guehenno
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold." -- Denis Leary
Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do. -- Letty Cottin Pogrebin
Were Moses to go up Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd bring down with him would be aspirin and Prozac. -- Joseph A. Califano, Jr.
For a long time, many Republicans thought if they just took two aspirin and laid down, [Donald] Trump would go away. -- Mara Liasson
We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin. -- Fiorello H. La Guardia
We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin. -- Vangelis
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin. -- Robert Orben
There's an entire generation of male strength and endurance athletes, even recreational lifters, who have never gotten off the ephedrine-caffeine-aspirin stack. The process of getting off stimulants is really horrible. -- Timothy Ferriss
Movie failures are like the common cold. You can stay in bed and take aspirin for six days and recover. Or you can walk around and ignore it for six days and recover. -- Gene Tierney
We are not bearing our crosses every time we have a headache; an aspirin tablet will take care of that. What is meant is the trouble we would not have if we were not Christians. -- Vance Havner

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