Tommy Corn Quotes in I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Albert Markovski: No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.

Bret: What happens in the meadow at dusk?

Albert Markovski: Everything!

Mrs. Hooten: Nothing!

Albert Markovski: Everything.

Mrs. Hooten: Nothing!

Albert Markovski: Everything!

Mrs. Hooten: Nothing!

Albert Markovski: It's beautiful.

Tommy Corn: It's beautiful.

Mr. Hooten: God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?

Tommy Corn: I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.

Mr. Hooten: I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!

Tommy Corn: If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.

Mrs. Hooten: *You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!

Tommy Corn: You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?

Mr. Hooten: You shut up! You get out!

Tommy Corn: You shut up.

[to Albert]

Tommy Corn: Come on. Let's get out of here.

Tommy Corn: Ah, here he comes!

Albert Markovski: Oh, boy.

Tommy Corn: The man-poet who banged France's dark lady of philosophy. The parking lot crusader of truth... who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.

Tommy Corn: [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?

Caterine Vauban: Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.

Tommy Corn: Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?

[last lines]

Tommy Corn: What are you doing tomorrow?

Albert Markovski: I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come?

Tommy Corn: What time?

Albert Markovski: Mmm, 1, 1:30.

Tommy Corn: Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains?

Albert Markovski: We always do.

Tommy Corn: I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I thought we were here to talk about petroleum.

Mr. Hooten: Do you have a job, Tom?

Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.

Mrs. Hooten: Oh, God bless *you*! A hero!

Tommy Corn: I'm not a hero. We'd all be heroes if we quit using petroleum, though.

Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.

Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!

Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!

Tommy Corn: It's amazing!

Albert Markovski: I know.

Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special.

Tommy Corn: How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?

Tommy Corn: I thought we were a platonic trio, not some sick sex dance! This is bullshit!

[last lines]

Tommy Corn: [Albert and Tommy sitting on marsh rock] What are you doing tomorrow?

Albert Markovski: I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come?

Tommy Corn: What time?

Albert Markovski: Mm, one, one-thirty.

Tommy Corn: Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains?

Albert Markovski: We always do.

[Scene goes blurry. Tommy hits Albert in the face with the big orange ball and then hits himself in the face with it]

Mr. Hooten: Stevo, I'm so disappointed.

Mrs. Hooten: It's all right. Look, he's sad. He's sad.

Mr. Hooten: I'm sorry Stevo. My bad. You didn't know.

Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mr. Hooten: I should be what?

Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mr. Hooten: And why's that? Why whould I be ashamed of myself?

Tommy Corn: You're a hypocrite.

Mr. Hooten: I'm a what?

Tommy Corn: You're misleading these children. 'Cause you're the destroyer, man.

Mr. Hooten: How am I the destroyer?

Tommy Corn: I saw that S.U.V. out there.

Mr. Hooten: My car's the destroyer? You wanna know how many miles per gallon I get?

[running away from Vivian and Bernard]

Tommy Corn: I want my money back!

Albert Markovski: Yeah, and if I weren't pro bono, I'd want MY money back!

Cricket: Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts!

Tommy Corn: I hate to break it to you, but He is - He most definitely is.

Tommy Corn: But there's no way I could stop it's use in my lifetime is there? I mean, Jimmy Carter would have an electric car by now. I could have a Cadillac Escalade and it could be electric. I wouldn't have to ride my bicycle.

Tommy Corn: You don't want to ask these questions?

Molly Corn: No. I wanna live my life.

Tommy Corn: What is that life, baby? What are we part of? Who are we? Look at this, look at this

[shows her one of her shoes]

Tommy Corn: . Do you know where these come from?

Molly Corn: Yeah. My closet. The store.

Tommy Corn: Indonesia.

[turns to young daughter]

Tommy Corn: Baby... this is the truth, ok? Little girls like you, they have to work in dark factories where they go blind, for a dollar sixty a month just to make Mommy her pretty shoes. Can you even imagine that, Caitlin?

Caitlin Corn: [shouting] I don't want the children to work in factories! Stop it from happening!

Molly Corn: Your Daddy's crazy, honey.

Tommy Corn: Daddy's not crazy, baby. The world is crazy. It's important to ask these questions.

Molly Corn: Shut up!

Tommy Corn: Mommy doesn't ask because Mommy doesn't care. Don't stop asking questions, baby!

Vivian Jaffe: You live all the time with things you can't see. You can't see electricity, can you? You can't see radio waves, but you accept them.

Bernard Jaffe: Trust.

Albert Markovski: Fuck trust!

Bernard Jaffe: You better stay away from Caterine, Albert, 'cause she's gonna lead you down the path of darkness.

Vivian Jaffe: She was our prize graduate student until she went astray.

Albert Markovski: No, I think that I am going to stay with her, and the cracks and the pain and the nothingness, because THAT's more real to me, THAT's what I feel.

Tommy Corn: Word.

Bernard Jaffe: Okay, we're not sweatin' it.

Vivian Jaffe: No, we're gonna work with Brad.

Bernard Jaffe: It'll all come back to you and interconnection.

Albert Markovski: Brad? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna work on that prick and it's all gonna come to pain and no connection!

Bernard Jaffe: No.

Tommy Corn: It's on.

Tommy Corn: Sorry I grabbed you.

Vivian Jaffe: Reptilian!