Mr. Hooten Quotes in I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Mr. Hooten: God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?

Tommy Corn: I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.

Mr. Hooten: I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!

Tommy Corn: If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.

Mrs. Hooten: *You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!

Tommy Corn: You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?

Mr. Hooten: You shut up! You get out!

Tommy Corn: You shut up.

[to Albert]

Tommy Corn: Come on. Let's get out of here.

Mr. Hooten: Do you have a job, Tom?

Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.

Mrs. Hooten: Oh, God bless *you*! A hero!

Tommy Corn: I'm not a hero. We'd all be heroes if we quit using petroleum, though.

Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert?

Albert Markovski: How'd you know about my cat?

Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity.

Albert Markovski: Oh, right, that cat.

Mrs. Hooten: Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?

Albert Markovski: You mean the existential detectives?

Mr. Hooten: Sounds like a support group.

Cricket: Why can't he use the church?

Mrs. Hooten: Sometimes, people have additional questions to be answered.

Cricket: Like what?

Albert Markovski: Well, um, for instance: if the forms of this world die, which is more real, the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind, or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?

Mr. Hooten: Stevo, I'm so disappointed.

Mrs. Hooten: It's all right. Look, he's sad. He's sad.

Mr. Hooten: I'm sorry Stevo. My bad. You didn't know.

Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mr. Hooten: I should be what?

Tommy Corn: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mr. Hooten: And why's that? Why whould I be ashamed of myself?

Tommy Corn: You're a hypocrite.

Mr. Hooten: I'm a what?

Tommy Corn: You're misleading these children. 'Cause you're the destroyer, man.

Mr. Hooten: How am I the destroyer?

Tommy Corn: I saw that S.U.V. out there.

Mr. Hooten: My car's the destroyer? You wanna know how many miles per gallon I get?

Mr. Hooten: Hey, I don't want to hear it again or there will be no internet tonight.