Tikon Quotes in The Twelve Chairs (1970)

Tikon: [remembering his former master Vorobyaninov] I loved him... he hardly ever beat us!

Ostap Bender: Listen, tell me. Tell me. Who lived here in the old days?

Tikon: Oh, in the old days was my master: Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov. He was a Marshal of the nobility. I loved him. He hardly ever beat us.

Ostap Bender: Oh, and whatever became of your "lovable master"?

Tikon: One night about ten years ago was a fearful noise. It was bombs and cannons and soldiers shooting. It was terrible, terrible!

Ostap Bender: Oh, yes, I think it was called "The Revolution".

Tikon: That was it: The Revolution... You're smart! You're smart and you're gorgeous. You're okay. Anyways... they all run away.

Ostap Bender: Well, come on, old boy. Let us see how drunk two Russians can get on one ruble.

Tikon: I like that: two Russians, one ruble!

Tikon: [to Ostap Bender] You're smart and you're gorgeous!

Ostap Bender: Tell me... what goes on in this great house?

Tikon: Mostly dying.

Tikon: It's an old-age home for wery old ladies. They tippy-toe in, they have a little bowl of porridge and...

[he blows a raspberry]

Tikon: that's it.

Tikon: [Ostap has just addressed him as "comrade"] Comrade! Comrade! Everybody calls me comrade! Everybody in the new Soviet Union is a comrade! People you don't know, strangers, everybody is a comrade! Oh, I miss Russia!