Tea Shop Proprietor Quotes in Withnail & I (1987)

[They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]

Withnail: [pointing at a table] All right here?

Waitress: What do you want?

Withnail: Cake. All right here?

Waitress: No, we're closing in a minute.

Withnail: We're leaving in a minute.

[he sits down and picks up a menu]

Withnail: We want cake and tea.

Tea Shop Proprietor: Didn't you hear? She said she'd closed. What do you want in here?

Withnail: Cake. What's it got to do with you?

Tea Shop Proprietor: I happen to be the proprietor. Now, would you leave?

Withnail: Ah! I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. We're working on a film up here. Locations, see. We might wanna do a film in here.

Tea Shop Proprietor: You're drunk.

Marwood: Just bring out the cakes.

Withnail: Cake and fine wine.

Waitress: If you don't leave, we'll call the police.

Withnail: Balls! We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!

Tea Shop Proprietor: Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police.

Marwood: [with his mouth full] All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. We are multimillionaires. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately.

Withnail: Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit!

Tea Shop Proprietor: The police, Miss Blennerhassett. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed.

Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires!

Tea Shop Proprietor: Hurry up, Mabs. We'll keep them here til they arrive.

Withnail: You won't keep us anywhere. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down!

[Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]

Marwood: [pulling back the lace curtain] 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright... We're going, our car has arrived!

Withnail: [staggering out] We'll be back. We're coming back in here.