First Policeman Quotes in Withnail & I (1987)

[Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar]

First Policeman: Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it?

Withnail: [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] These aren't mine, they belong to him.

First Policeman: You're drunk.

Withnail: I assure you I'm not, officer. Honestly. I've only had a few ales.

First Policeman: Out of the car. Please? Sir?

[the policeman opens the door and Withnail nearly falls out. He gets out and leans against the side of the car. The other policeman pulls out a plastic bag with a nozzle at the top]

First Policeman: I want you to take one deep breath and fill this bag.

[Withnail shakes his head]

First Policeman: Are you refusing to fill this bag?

Withnail: I most certainly am.

First Policeman: [gripping Withnail's sleeve] I'm placing you under arrest.

Withnail: Don't be ridiculous, I haven't done anything. Look here, my cousin's a QC!

Policeman Two: [high-pitched voice] GET-IN-THE-BACK-OF-THE-VAN!

First Policeman: [to Eliza and Freddie, who are kissing on the street] Now then, now then, now then. This isn't Paris, you know.

First Policeman: When they start recitin' the Constitution, watch out!