Ralph Quotes in Romancing the Stone (1984)

Zolo: Don't I know you?

Ralph: No comprendo.

Zolo: You are an American?

Ralph: [changing to French accent to hide his identity] Uh, odio, er... ah... americanos, uh... I spit on 'em, ptuh! I hate americanos, they're scumo! Scum!

Zolo: Êtes-vous français?

Ralph: Hey Ira, the kid's here with the broad. They're taking her out to the boat.

Ira: Look at those snappers, will you!

Ralph: We shoulda just rifled her room.

Ira: Ralph, how many times do I have to tell you, "It's not in the country"?

Ralph: Well this kidnapping stuff makes me real nervous. It's a piss poor idea. It's nothing but trouble. Look, we've stolen enough of these antique trinkets to keep us living comfortably for the rest of our lives. Let's kiss-off this third-world toilet.

Ira: One last big one, trust me Ralph, trust me. Oh! Did you see that Ralph, that ugly, striped son-of-a-bitch down there!

Ralph: Someone's gonna get killed, and you're farting around with prehistoric animals. Come on Ira, let's forget about this one. I've got a real bad feeling about it, real bad.

Ira: Will you stop worrying. Have I ever hurt you? I will never hurt you, I can't hurt you. We've got the same blood. We're not two people, we are one person! Would I hurt me?

[one of the alligators hisses]

Ira: Look at those snappers, Ralph!

Ira: Of all the things you could say to me right now, "I lost her," Ralph, is gonna get the most teeth broken in your mouth.

Ralph: Look, bullethead. If they're hiking through the jungle there's nothing I can do about it. I have a car. I am not Tarzan. I have been through every one-horse shithole for a two-hundred mile radius. You should have seen the river I had to traverse this morning. So don't give me any of your crap, you gutless wonder. You have been an embarrasment to our family ever since the day you were born! And let me tell you something else, Ira...

[he turns and sees Joan and Jack getting out of a car]

Ralph: You are luckiest son of a bitch that ever walked the face of the earth! She's here!

Ira: She's there!

Ralph: She's right here! She's walking towards the phone. She's with some guy. How do I know? She likes guys! So do you, maricon!

Ralph: I had it in my hands, Ira. These hands that are going to break every bone in your body.

[Zolo points a gun at his face]

Ralph: ... later.

Jack T. Colton: [Jack and Joan find the stone in a cave] Jesus Christ, we're in a lot of trouble.

Ralph: [surprising them holding a gun] Understatement of the year, asshole.

Jack T. Colton: [to Joan] Is there anybody who *isn't* following you?

Ralph: Put the goods in the bag.

[Jack surrenders the stone]

Ralph: Now move it, before Batman comes home.

Ralph: [to Jack] Oh, oh *I'm* the creep, huh? Well at least I'm honest: I'm *stealing* this stone. I'm not trying to romance it out from under her.

Ralph: Not only are we kidnappers, but I'm about to have a close encounter with a cattle prod!

Joan Wilder: Well, wait a minute, now. Going for the stone was my idea.

Ralph: Ah, that's what all the good con artists want you to think. He made you think you needed it, you sap!

Ralph: [On the phone] All right, cousin, as usual, you got us in some serious sh*t here. First of all, the stupid dame got on the wrong bus. Now, I'm stuck in some kind of Spic-o military compound. They're mobilizing for Iwo Jima here.

Ira: Do they know who you are?

Ralph: Oh, oh, do you think I'm going up an introducing myself to every cop in the pueblo?

Ralph: You're all I thought about for six months. They threw me in a jail filled with rejects from the communicable disease ward. Every wacko, drippy, open-sored low-life was in that joint, all of them wanting to hire on as my proctologist.

Ralph: Come on, Colton! Where's the jewel?

Jewel: Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile.

Ralph: Yeah, and I'm a kumquat from Queens! Pipe down, towel-head!

Ralph: You know, I'll bet you can buy a great townhouse down here for around five or six dollars.

Jack T. Colton: I'm sorry you had such a tough time. Ah, how 'bout a hundred bucks?

Ralph: A hundred bucks? I'll give you a one-way ticket to harp land. No more jokes! What'd you do with it?

Jack T. Colton: What are you talkin' about?

Ralph: The stone, moron!

Tarak: You're woman is in danger too. I will take you to him.

Ralph: I'm comin' too!

Jack T. Colton: The hell you are!

Ralph: Look, you owe me Colton. So, where ever you're going, I'm going. Where we going?

Ralph: Why do these third world cesspools always got to be so hot? Will you tell me that?

Ralph: I got to get off of this camel. It's breakin' my ass!

Tarak: Here! You are welcome! We have food. We have drink!

Ralph: You gotta toilet?

Ralph: Ah, what's that I hear? A heart breaking? You sap! Better keep your mind on business, Romeo, you'll wind up gettin' yourself killed over some broad who dumped you.

Ralph: You hook up with a bunch of juju beads, you see what happens?

Jack T. Colton: Just take you're lead from me and you'll be fine.

Ralph: What are we going to do? Walk right through the center of town?

Jack T. Colton: I'm going to put you up a camel's ass - for openers.

Ralph: I think I might like it.

Ralph: [Last lines] Sufis' rule!

[At a Sufi celebration]

Ralph: Look at these guys, Colton. No sheep is safe tonight.

Ralph: [after Ralph walks out of the catacombs into the riot taking place] Looks like Our Lady of Mount Carmel school yard.

[Ralph comes face-to-face with Omar]

Omar: Who are you?

Ralph: Where's Al Jewelhala buried?

Omar: I said, who the hell are you?

Ralph: Hey, don't provoke me, pal! I've had a tough day here! You know how hot it is around here? It's 120 degrees in the shade! I'm like this with Weinberger! We'll be all over you like a cheap suit!

[the captive Ralph is being dragged across the desert floor by the Sufis]

Ralph: [to himself] Oh, please. Let me get out of this alive. I swear to God, I'll be a good boy from tomorrow on.

[Ralph and the rest of the Sufis see the smoke in the distance from the burning F-16 which was stolen by Jack]

Ralph: But tonight, I gotta kill Colton!

Jack T. Colton: What the hell are you talkin' about? I don't even know who the hell you are!

Tarak: You must come with me to help find the Jewel.

Ralph: [face lights up] Jewel? What jewel?

Tarak: The Jewel of the Nile. Our most pricess Jewel. Omar stole my people's Jewel. Omar is a very bad man.

Ralph: Yeah, that scum, I spit on him! Jack... buddy? Let's help this nice man get his jewel back.

Tarak: Yes... yes?

Jack T. Colton: Here, I don't know where you're from or what you're on, but I'm sailing my boat tonight.

Tarak: No! You must come to help find the Jewel now! Before Omar kill many people! As long as Omar have the Jewel... nothing can stop him.

Jack T. Colton: Look, I'm going on the boat. You guys can do what you want.

[behind Jack, his sailboat blows up; Jack slowly turns around looking stunned while both Tarak and Ralph are stunned as well]

Ralph: The boat blew up.

Jack T. Colton: My boat blew up?

Ralph: The boat blew up!

Jack T. Colton: Everything's gone.

Ralph: Who are you? The prince of darkness? Don't you got any friends?

Ralph: [Licks knife, uses it to smash a statute, then screams threatening] AAAAHHHHH!

Robbins: [Hurls knife into 'Ralph's' chest, killing him instantly. The mob is shocked into silence for several seconds]

Marek: That's extraordinary. It's not EXACTLY what we had in mind, but...

[laughs]

Marek: Extraordinary!

Marek: I could use a man like you! A position on my staff, perhaps?

[gestures at Ralph's body]

Marek: we appear to have an opening! Think about it! Your own room, full run of the place, free meals: anyone you can catch, kill and eat!

Robbins: [sarcastic] How's your health plan?

Marek: Eh, well it's not really necessary, is it? I mean the average life-expectancy around here is, what? Six months?

[leans in to Robbins' face]

Marek: I've been here seven years.

Ralph: [motioning to the mess in his apartment] My maid died.

Bruno: [smelling the air] Must've died in here.

Leon: [smelling the musty air of Ralph's apartment] Geeze, Ralph, somebody die in here?

Ralph: I don't think that's any of your business.

Ralph: "Ok,ok. I'm scared; it's official."

Ralph: "I got a duck?"

Ralph: [looking at pictures of Din] Hey, it looks real nice. Are they friendly at all?

Botch: Oh, they are! They love to be friendly except they rush around so much, they don't have the time to be friendly.

Ralph: The "what" don't they?

Botch: The TIME. They have clocks and watches on their wrists which tell them the time they don't have because they are always rushing. And they think they don't have...

Ralph: Wait, wait, I'm not get... What is "time"?

Botch: Two o'clock, four o'clock, five o'clock.

Ralph: Yes, but there's something that tells them that they don't have something?

Botch: Yeah.

Ralph: It's a clock?

Botch: It's a clock.

Ralph: And they watch it?

Botch: They watch it.

Ralph: And it tells them...?

Botch: The time.

Ralph: That they don't have.

Botch: It's simple, easy. Get it?

Ralph: Oh. Uh... Uh-huh.

Jason: Here, I want you to meet someone.

Ralph: That's okay, I know too many people already.

Ralph: Then you've killed a lot of people.

Fate: I've lost count.

Ralph: Well, I can just get off here.

Fate: This is just where you're getting off.

Ralph: I saved your life.

Fate: It's the most expensive suitcase in the world, there's nothing more expensive than platinum.

Ralph: Except, plutonium.

Ralph: Oh god.

Mr. X: There is no god. Nothing can save you now.

Ralph: You shouldn't open something you're not familiar with.

Ralph: Hey, is this a real time bomb?

Clio: Don't touch that, stupid.

Ralph: Whoever holds the conch gets to speak.

Piggy: We did everything just the way grownups would have. Why didn't it work? Things would be much better here if it wasn't for him. I wish he was dead.

Ralph: No, you don't.

Piggy: I do! We could just give up and join his tribe. Then we'd at least be with the others.

Ralph: No, Piggy.

Piggy: Ralph... I can't see.

Ralph: I know.

Larry: Sir, are you the leader?

Pablo: Jack's the oldest, but Ralph's the colonel.

[group voices votes for Ralph]

Jack Merridew: I guess you just won the election.

Ralph: It doesn't matter who's in charge. We've just got to work together. First, we build a camp.

Piggy: We might have to live here for a long time! Maybe the rest of our lives! If we *are* stuck here until we get old, then we can't go on acting like kids! We've got to be sensible and make things work!

Ralph: [looking up] No!

[a rock is pushed off the cliff above, killing Piggy]

Ralph: You're not gonna get away with this.

Jack Merridew: Yeah? Well, what are you going to do, huh?

Tony: What are we gonna do with thieves when we catch them?

Ralph: We can't have kids stealing and just running wild. We're going to have to have stricter rules and hand out demerits... I guess.

Jack Merridew: What won't matter?

Piggy: Whether we get rescued

Jack Merridew: You better start learning to live with yourself, because we ain't gonna get rescued

Piggy: What are you talking about?

Jack Merridew: Just being logical, a plane goes down in the middle of the ocean, theres no wreckage, who's gonna find us?

Piggy: Why don't you just shut up!

Jack Merridew: Are you telling me to shut up?

Piggy: What we need around here is positive people, not people trying to scare people!

Jack Merridew: What we don't need around here is you shitbrain!

Sam, Twin #1: His name's not shitbrain, It's Piggy!

Jack Merridew: Yeah Piggy!

Ralph: Shut up! Everybody just shut up!

Ralph: Face it Jack, you fucked up! We could've been rescued.

Jack Merridew: Back off man! I'm sick of your shit and so is my gang.

Ralph: Your gang. What's that supposed to mean?

Jack Merridew: What it means colonel, that no ones good for you and stop trying to run everything.

Jack Merridew: Rodge, you okay, man? That was some jump.

Roger: I got him. Right up his ass.

Sam, Twin #1, Eric, Twin #2, Pablo, Andy: Up the ass!

Will: Come on, cut it out!

Ralph: Stop it!

Will: You dorks, it hurt!

Sam, Twin #1: I know it hurt.

Jack Merridew: Whats the matter tits! Were you afraid to bring it with you? Anyway the conch doesn't count anymore, Miss Piggy-tits!

Ralph: Stop that!

Jack Merridew: Nobody's interested in you and your fucking conch! Why don't you just take your fat friend and shove off! you've had all the meat you can eat. Come on hunters! Rogers the pig!

Ralph: The reason I'm calling this assembly is, too much people are screwing around when they should be working. I mean theirs a bunch of things. Some people don't even know when to use the bathroom.

Tony: Yeah. Theres this one kid, the other day he took a shit in his pants and later sat on it, I'm not naming names because it's possible that Mikey couldn't help it.

Ralph: [sees Zak sliding on the windshield] Hey, Tone, there's a little man on the windshield here.

Zak: TONY, RALPH, IT'S ME, ZAK!

Ralph: [suddenly recognizes him] Hey, Tone!

Hexxus: KEEP IT MOVING, BOY!

Ralph, Tony: AAAAAAHHHHH!

Ralph: Are you sure the leveler can handle this baby?

Tony: Sure, the leveler eats anything.

Ralph: Kinda like you.

Tony: How many times a day I have to threaten your life?

Tony: Zak!

Ralph: What happened here?

[they see the entire forest almost empty with tree stumps, Zak smiles and plants a seed remembering what Crysta told him]

Zak: I will remember.

[Zak leaves with Tony and Ralph]

Zak: [solemnly] Guys, things have gotta change.

Ralph: Someone has to stay behind. Piggy...

Jack: [interrupts] Sure, protect Piggy like you always do.

Ralph: Don't be stupid. What can he do with just one eye?

Piggy: What's your name?

Ralph: Ralph.

Piggy: I don't care what they call me, as long as they don't call me what they did in school.

Ralph: What's that?

Piggy: They used to call me Piggy.

Ralph: [laughs] Piggy!

Piggy: As long as you don't tell the others.

Ralph: You're a beast, and a swine, and a bloody, bloody thief!

Ralph: [thinking about Simon's death] Piggy?

Piggy: Huh?

Ralph: Piggy, that was murder.

Piggy: You stop it! What good are you doing talking like that? It was dark. There was that bloody dance. There was thunder and lightning and rain. We were scared. It wasn't what you said.

Ralph: [sobs] Oh, Piggy!

Piggy: [comforts him] It was an accident. He was batty. He asked for it. It was an accident.

Ralph: Oh, God, I want to go home!

Ralph: His name's not Fatty. It's Piggy.

Piggy: I've got the conch!

[the boys jeer and taunt him from above the cliff]

Piggy: [shouts] Which is it better to be, a pack of painted savages like you are, or sensible like Ralph is? Which is better, to have rules and agree, or to hunt and kill?

[Roger goes angry and pushes a huge boulder, which heads right to Piggy]

Piggy: AAH!

Ralph: Piggy!

[the boys go silently still as they see Piggy's body wash away in the sea]

Ralph: You let the fire go out.

Jack: We needed meat.

Ralph: [while swimming in the ocean] Aren't you coming in?

Piggy: Oh, it's hot. No, my auntie wouldn't let me, count of my asthma.

Ralph: Sucks to your asthma!

Piggy: You can't half swim well.

Piggy: [as the boys are talking about the beast] I don't believe in no ghosts, ever.

Jack: Who cares what YOU believe, Fatty!

[the boys laugh]

Simon: [looking disturbed] Maybe there IS a beast.

[the boys laugh again]

Ralph: Hear him! He's got the conch.

Simon: What I mean is... maybe, it's only us.

Piggy: Nuts!

Ralph: Your persiflage does not amuse.

[looking at a Playboy]

Ralph: Whoa! Whoa! Let me see. I bet you've never seen anything like this before, huh, Barnhill. You probably don't even know about the birds and the bees, you butthead.

Kelsey: Oh, and you do?

Ralph: Yeah. That's right, I do.

Kelsey: Oh yeah? Go ahead and explain it to us.

Ralph: Well, I... Uh, I know it's about making babies. And I know it takes a man *and* a woman to make it work right. And that they both have to go into a room. And they both take their shirts off.

Fishman: No! No, no, no. The man doesn't have to take his shirt off. Just the woman!

Gordy: My mom says the guy who's taking us has hiked all over the world.

Barnhill: I'm sure he won't be half as good as the guy me and my dad had on our trip to the Serengeti.

Ralph: Barnhill, if you're dad is so friggin' cool, then why isn't he our scout leader?

Barnhill: Oh yeah. Spies have a lot of time for the scouts.

Ralph: Nice dolls.

Barnhill: Did you bring a pretty pink umbrella too, in case it starts to rain?

Kelsey: No, I figured we could all just crouch under a pair of your underwear and wait it out.

Ralph: We finally get to go on an overnight, and we end up at Grand Central Station.

Gordy: It's better than my backyard.

Ralph: Not by much.

Milo: I've just come back from the most wonderful place in the world! And Ralph, guess what. I messed up the sunrise!

Ralph: That's silly! How do you mess up a sunrise?

Milo: Well, somebody has to conduct it. How else would you get the reds and the oranges and the yellows?

[attempting to keep a group of crows from tearing him and the other pig cop to pieces]

Ralph: Would you like to see a picture of my kids?

Ralph: I was lucky in a way, I suppose. I found the love of my life. But not the right time. By the time I found her, she was already broken beyond repair and nothing I say or do will ever change that. But at least I know she exists.

[Travers gives Ralph a list of people to his handicapped daughter, Jane]

Ralph: "Albert Einstein, Van Gogh, Roosevelt, Frida Kahlo" - What is this?

P.L. Travers: They all had difficulties. Jane can do anything that anyone else can do, do you understand?

[beat]

P.L. Travers: Look on the back.

Ralph: [turns it over] "Walt Disney."

P.L. Travers: Deficiencies in concentration and hyperactive behavior. Explains everything!

P.L. Travers: You are the only American I have ever liked.

Ralph: May I ask why?

P.L. Travers: No.

[from trailer]

Ralph: Welcome, Mrs. P.L. Travers, to the city of angels.

P.L. Travers: It smells... of...

Ralph: Jasmine?

P.L. Travers: Chlorine, and sweat.

Ralph: Hey, sun came out again.

P.L. Travers: You say it as if you're surprised, as if the sun were particular about for whom it appears. It seems you think I am responsible for its miraculous dawning every day. For heaven's sake, it's California.

Ralph: Certainly is!

P.L. Travers: I'd so much rather be accountable for the rain.

Ralph: Oh, that's sad.

P.L. Travers: Sad is entirely the wrong emotion. I shan't bother explaining why. It would just... Zip!

Ralph: Huh. Okey-dokey.

P.L. Travers: The rain brings life.

Ralph: So does the sun.

P.L. Travers: Be quiet!

Ralph: Yes, ma'am.

Ralph: Are you All right, missus? Would you like me to drive you home?

P.L. Travers: All the way to England? Yes, please.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

[Phil Connors is stopped by the police after some crazy driving]

Phil: Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and one large coke.

Ralph: [to Phil] And some flapjacks.

Phil: [to Cop] Too early for flapjacks?

Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?

Ralph: I think... both.

Gus: [waiter drops a tray of dishes] Real nice. Just put that anywhere, pal. Yeah.

[laughs]

Ralph: Good save!

Ralph: I take it this bum will be calling you?

Linda: Dad! He's a millionaire.

Ralph: You have my permission to marry him.

Ralph: Here's your tea.

Hobson: I despise tea. Now, would you go to the bathroom and bring me two aspirin? You'll find them on the top shelf to the left, behind the untouched shaving cream.

[Ralph looks embarrassed and leaves the room. Hobson coughs]

Linda: That sounds bad. Have you seen a doctor?

Hobson: Yes. And he has seen me.

Linda: You know, I think Arthur has a very good friend. May I kiss you on the cheek?

Hobson: Is it something you feel strongly about?

Linda: Yes.

[She kisses Hobson, who smiles, nods, and prepares to leave]

Linda: What about your aspirins?

Hobson: The aspirins are for you, my dear.

Ralph: Take a look. You know who that is? That's Madonna Mendez. Look at the hooters.

Moseby: What kind of work are you in, Bernie?

Ralph: I'm retired.

Moseby: Oh? From what?

Ralph: From all the big hairy bullshit.

Mrs. Baker: [talking about Ralph's play] I do not intend to pay money to see nudity, obscenity and degeneracy.

Ralph: Mrs. Baker, these things are all a part of life.

Mrs. Baker: I know, Mr. Santori. So is diarrhea, but I wouldn't classify it as entertainment.

Ralph: She sucked your what?

Ralph: Easy to get a beer gut when you own a bar. You don't even notice as it happens. Then all of a sudden, you look down and you can't even see your own damn shoes anymore. Yeah, I can't wait for that day.

Ralph: Mona, I'm a vampire.

Mona: And I'm the bride of Frankenstein.

Ralph: No seriously, Mona, it's the truth. I'm not a bad vampire--I am a bad vampire--I'm not very good at it, I don't bite people -- but I am a vampire!

Ralph: If it wasn't for Red Cross donations, this vampire would die!

Ralph: That was my mother you just boned.

Phoebe: Honey, could you do me a favor and lock up tonight? I have a date with a very nice man.

Ralph: Who is it this time, mom?

Phoebe: Well, I'm not sure yet, but I will know him when I see him.

Ralph: I'm half Italian-half Jewish. Which, I guess makes me a pizza-bagel.

[Ralph descibing his vanity process]

Psychiatrist: You get your back WAXED?

Ralph: Yeah.

Psychiatrist: Ouch.

Ralph: Yeah, tell me about it. I'm Italian and Jewish. Twice the hair and the guilt.

Johnathan: Let me tell you something. This happens to be real life. Money and power. That's all that counts out there in the world.

Ralph: No, I don't think so. I...

Johnathan: You're the best I ever had, kid. But pending a major change in your sex life - and I mean a MAJOR change - you are... on extended leave.

Ralph: What?

Johnathan: That's right. No chicks, no checks.

[long awkward pause]

Johnathan: Get the fuck out of here.

Peter: Dude, you can't change your life. I love your life. It's like a porno movie, but with better lighting. There's great cheesy music, lots of hot women. You could use more lesbians, though.

Ralph: Oh, you think so? Thanks for the tip.

Ralph: Yeah, I'm up for more of this ego-deflating banter.

Ralph: He who loves and runs away lives to love another day.

Ralph: Listerine - the only thing to reach BEFORE the snooze button.

Peter: Genius. Pure genius.

Rex: Oh, fresh oysters. Hey, do you like oysters?

Ralph: No, I don't really get in to putting slippery, slimy, disgusting, wet, living organisms in my mouth.

Rex: I guess you don't eat pussy, then.

[she walks away, Ralph follows after her]

Ralph: I could.

Ralph: You're a pretty fancy performer, ain't ya kid?

Danny Fisher: Now you know what I do for an encore.

Ralph: This is dark chocolate. It comes all the way from Switzerland, Europe. That's near France, see. They call it 'bitter sweet.' Melts in your mouth.

Boss Spearman: You tried it?

Ralph: No.

Boss Spearman: How do you know it melts in your mouth?

Ralph: Well, truth is, we can't afford it ourselves.

Montgomery McNeil: You wanna get a pizza? We could split an Angie's special - with anchovies!

Ralph: Anchovies? Man, fuck anchovies. Man, I died out there and you're talking about fucking pizza?

Montgomery McNeil: No, I'm talking about eating pizza.

Ralph: I'm God. See. And, God is Puerto Rican. You got that? Now, God, he works in a casa de steam, it's a steam bath, right? And he's talkin' to his angel, you see, and his angel is a computer, right? An electronic computer. I'm God! See. That's why I'm standin' on this chair. You got that? Good.

Ralph: They are looking for your type for a movie.

Doris Finsecker: What's my type?

Ralph: Well, you know, your type! Your type, Irishy, Jewishy, paranoid.

Doris Finsecker: What's the name of this movie?

Ralph: "I Was A Teenage Fag Hag".

Farrell: Diction! Watch your diction, Ralph. You're slurring your words.

Ralph: What? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Marlon Brando slurred his words, you know. Montgomery Cliff slurred his words. James Dean slurred his words. They were the greatest actors in the whole world and nobody could understand a word they said.

Ralph: Doris, I wasnt' there. I wasn't f*ckin' there!

Doris Finsecker: Well, what about your father?

Ralph: Well, I happen to be between fathers right now.

Scott: I've already decided if nothing happens by the time I am 20, I'm gonna cut it off.

Ralph: How ya going to pee there Scott?

Scott: Sittin' down.

[after realizing the box is empty]

Ralph: Mae? MAE!

[Mae enters]

Mae: What do you want?

Ralph: Bring me some reefers!

Blanche: Oh, snap out if it, will ya? It's not our fault. Why did I ever bring him up there anyway? He's just a kid. They can't hang him.

Ralph: Shut up. SHUT UP!

Ralph: I know what you want. You want to kill ME!

Jack: You're crazy. Take it easy, kid. I just wanta talk ta ya.

[Ralph then brutally assaults Jack]

Ralph: Ya know, I can remember every toy I had as a kid.

Gabriel: And they remember you, Ralph. Toys are very loyal, and that is a fact.

Ralph: Stop the plane. Let me off!

Ralph: So my philosophy is, let's have some beer.

Amy: Ralph?

Ralph: Yeah?

Amy: Is it worth it?

Ralph: Huh?

Amy: Well, getting married, I mean.

Ralph: Get dressed kid.

[beat]

Ralph: I'll tell you the truth, though. Sometimes I wish I never got married. But other times, I wouldn't trade Roz for anybody. Heh. Marriage is like that. Good times, bad times. You learn to live with it. But it's better than being alone.

Ralph: [breaks a coffee pot over his guard's head] Do you want cream or sugar with that?

Detective Wasserman: [draws his gun on Ralph] Drop those knives.

Ralph: Knives? These are not knives, these are fine surgical instruments.

Lovely: Have you ever wanted to make love to a woman? To touch a woman... make love? Stand up. Stand up! Take your shirt off. Take your shirt off.

[he throws it to her]

Lovely: I didn't want it! Pull your pants down. Come on, pull your pants down. Come on pull down your pants! Now, what would you like to do?

Ralph: I have to feed my rabbits.

Ralph: You boys know I ain't gonna hurt you.

Ralph: [upon learning a character has been murdered] "Does that mean you won't be getting paid anymore?"