Producer Quotes in I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007)

Older TV exec: Courtney Love?

Producer: Drugged-out hag.

Older TV exec: Faye Dunaway?

Producer: Don't call us, we'll call you!

Older TV exec: Sharon Stone?

Producer: Hag.

Older TV exec: Geena Davis?

Producer: Hag.

Older TV exec: Sigourney Weaver?

Producer: Hag.

Older TV exec: Kim Basinger?

Producer: Hag.

Older TV exec: Emma Thompson?

Producer: Brit hag.

Older TV exec: Susan Sarandon?

Producer: Red-state-alienating hag!

Older TV exec: Meg Ryan?

Producer: Too much plastic surgery.

Older TV exec: Melanie Griffith?

Producer: WAY too much plastic surgery.

Older TV exec: Patricia Heaton?

Producer: *Pointless* plastic surgery.

Older TV exec: CHER.

Producer: *Insurmountable* amount of plastic surgery!

Rosie: [who's been overhearing all this from the next chair & getting increasingly annoyed, swings round & grabs the Producer by the chin] Listen, you little bird of a man, where do you come off insulting these women? How many hit songs did you sing? How many Oscars do *you* have? Could you look cute next to Warren Beatty? Or live with Don Johnson? Or act with Ted Danson? You're not worthy of kissing Cher's tattooed ass!

[first lines]

Interviewer: Dr. Harber, before we're live, I just wanted to say thank you for choosing me.

Thomas: [warming up his voice] Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Interviewer: The rich history you have with other journalists...

Thomas: I chose you precisely because we don't have a history. Now, don't fuck it up.

Producer: Fifteen seconds...

Mona: [after trying on new clothes] No no no no! My brother is gonna make me a dress

Producer: [laughs]

Mona: Well I promised so.

Producer: Hey, you are so sweet that I could eat you!

[starts laughing out loud]

Producer: Your brother! Hahahahaha

Producer: [anxiously] When is she coming back?

Bosse: You think I know?

Producer: [later on, furiously] This is gonna cost her a contract and she's gonna pay me big money for it!

[on the phone]

Playwright: Can I ask you if there's any possibility to...

Producer: Tomorrow. That's the deadline. You asked for two weeks. You got them. My partners are getting nervous, even more nervous than they usually get. Moreover, our star is flying to Paris in four days. And guess what, he still has nothing to read on the plane.

Playwright: Yeah, I know.