Pepper Brooks Quotes in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Pepper Brooks Quotes:
Cotton McKnight: I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.
Cotton McKnight: In 23 years of broadcasting I thought I'd seen it all, folks. But it looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself.
Pepper Brooks: He will not be able to see very well, Cotton.
Cotton McKnight: And the Average Joe's beat the Germans in a *shocking* upset.
Pepper Brooks: I feel *shocked*.
Pepper Brooks: Effin' A, Cotton, Effin' A!
Cotton McKnight: Average Joe's has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven't even smelled a woman in eight months.
Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.
Cotton McKnight: Oh! Right in the testicles!
Pepper Brooks: Ouchtown, population you, bro!
Cotton McKnight: Looks like it's gonna be a two-on-one, a ménage à trois of pain.
Pepper Brooks: Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.
Cotton McKnight: [after Average Joes dressed in S&M enters the arena]
[slowly takes off glasses]
Cotton McKnight: ... Oh... my... sweet Jesus...
Pepper Brooks: [stares stupidly] ... that's rad.
[after sudden death is announced]
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to witness the greatest happening in sport: sudden-death dodgeball.
Pepper Brooks: Pepper needs new shorts!
Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
Pepper Brooks: [Average Joe's team comes out in S & M gear] I feel like I'm watching a Cher video.
Cotton McKnight: It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe's into the proverbial pumpkin.
Pepper Brooks: I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.
Cotton McKnight: We haven't seen Average Joe's yet. They haven't made it to the court. It could be a psychological ploy, or something worse.
Pepper Brooks: They're definitely not on the court, Cotton. Their absence is noticeable.
Pepper Brooks: Good toss by the submissive out there!
Cotton McKnight: Skillz might be looking past Average Joe's doing a little more dancing than dodgeballing out there.
Pepper Brooks: They better chiggity-check themselves before they wreck themselves, Cotton.
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