Steve the Pirate Quotes in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

Steve the Pirate: The dread pirate Steve be in no man's debt. I'll make a barter with ya; true as the north star. In exchange for your kindness, I'll be sharing me buried treasure with ya... once I find it, that be.

Steve the Pirate: I'm gonna send you all to hell!

Steve the Pirate: Steve's gotta go drain the sea-monster.

Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?

Gordon: Uh, two.

Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?

Gordon: Yeah!

Owen: That seems pretty simple.

Dwight: Who's the other team?

Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.

Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!

Peter La Fleur: Not quite!

[Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground]

Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!

Justin: This place is too important to us! Gordon, where do you go when your wife changes the locks?

Gordon: Average Joe's.

Justin: Right! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Average Joe's closes? You gonna work at the airport again?

Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!

Justin: No, 'cause you hated it! Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?

Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for Steve!

Steve the Pirate: Yarr, I be the dread pirate Steve!