Mom Quotes in Speed Racer (2008)

Mom: Distracted?

Speed's Teacher: No, that's not exactly right. Your son seems to be interested in only one thing. All he talks about, all he seems capable of thinking about, is automobile racing.

Mom: Well, you know, his father designs racing cars.

Speed's Teacher: And where is your husband?

Mom: Working. He couldn't be here.

Speed's Teacher: Perhaps the apple hasn't fallen very far from the tree.

Mom: [catching Spritle playing with his chimp in the living room] Hey, what are you two doing?

Spritle: Nothing.

Mom: Was that the same nothing that broke my last couch?

Spritle: No, that was a totally different nothing.

Speed: It's going to be okay.

Mom: You wouldn't lie to your mother, would you?

Speed: Never again.

Mom: Do you remember the day that you rolled the car? How upset I was?

Speed: [laughing a little] I remember. Rex said the only reason we survived was because I was wearing those red socks.

Mom: [to Speed] We just have to stick together... and something good will happen. You'll see.

Mom: [J has gone to K's apartment] Can I help you?

Agent J: Uh... K?

Mom: 5K.

Agent J: I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?

[Jay takes a cup of chocolate milk from the daughter and drinks it]

Mom: Mommy, the President is drinking my milk.

Agent J: [Handing the empty cup back] I'm sorry.

Little Chocolate Milk Girl: He didn't say please.

[Sebastian is driving home, and stops at a light. A boy and girl in the car beside him see him]

Boy in Car: Hey, look. Look! Look at that.

Girl in Car: Man, he's weird.

[Sebastian lifts his shades, to show his hollow eyes; and opens his mouth, to show his hollow mouth]

Boy in Car: Mom! Mommy!

[girl screams]

Boy in Car: Look!

Mom: What?

Boy in Car: A ghost!

Mom: Don't be ridiculous. There's nothing out there.

Maya Blart: [reading a dating website] Okay, next question. "Tell me about yourself."

Paul Blart: Let's see. I know a lot about sharks.

Mom: Let me stop you right there.

Ryder: Seven! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!

[points to the mother]

Ryder: Lucky lady! Come on, up. Up! Up!

Wallace: Fuck no!

[stands between Ryder and the mother]

Wallace: Come on.

Mom: Wait!

[tries to stop Wallace]

Wallace: It's the only plan I got. Come on, motherfucker!

Ryder: [looks to the mother] That's your fault.

Mom: You going to mope like this all day?

Zuba: Hmph.

Mom: Don't hmph me. Listen, Zuba. A miracle happened. Our son came back to us. How is that not good enough for you?

Zuba: What are you saying, woman?

Mom: We lost him once, Zuba. Let's not lose him again.

Zuba: What are you looking at?

Alex: Me? Nothing.

Zuba: This watering hole doesn't need any more mouths to feed. So just skedaddle back to wherever you came from.

Alex: Ok. Well, is there maybe a manager that I can talk to?

Zuba: Oh. I see. You're here to challenge me!

Alex: What? No! No. No.

Zuba: Well, that's what it started to look like to me!

Mom: Zuba! Wait.

Zuba: Doggone, woman. I'm trying to take care of my business...

Mom: Yeah, yeah, Zuba. Hold on. Alakay? Is that you?

[grabs Alex's paw]

Alex: No it's Alex. Ix like New York Knicks.

Mom: [stunned by the birthmark] Zuba, look!

Alex: [Zuba looks at the birthmark] Oh. I've always had that. The vet checked it out. It's really... it's kind of a beauty spot, really.

Zuba: [Looking at Alex's birthmark] A mark.

Alex: All right, this is a little weird.

Zuba: Honey, he's come home.

Alex: What?

Zuba: [shows his birthmark] You've come home.

Alex: [as he looks at both birthmarls] Whoa.

Zuba: Son.

[pause]

Alex: Dad.

[Zuba nods]

Alex: Mom and Dad? Mom and Dad! Mom and Dad! It's my Mom and Dad! I got a mom and dad!

[they form a group hug]

Mom: Our baby's alive!

Marty: Dad!

Mom: [pulls out small fabric blanket] You used to call this foofie.

Alex: Foofie?

[takes a whiff]

Alex: Foofie.

Zuba: Oh. He doesn't want that thing.

Alex: [Zuba tempts to take it from Alex but he pulls back like tug a war] This is my foofie!

[pause]

Mom: Zuba, you better give him his foofie.

[from trailer]

Riley: [Disgust pushed a button and pulls a short lever] School was great, all right?

Fear: What was that? I though you said we were gonna "act casual".

Mom: Riley! Is everything okay?

[Riley sighs]

Father's Fear: Sir, she just rolled her eyes at us!

Father's Anger: All right, make a show of force, I don't want to have to put the foot down.

Father's Fear: No! Not the foot...

Dad: Riley, I do not like this new attitude.

Anger: Oh, I show you attitude, old man!

Fear: No! No, no, no! Breath!

[He gets punched by Anger, and Anger pushes a red button hard]

Riley: What is your problem? Just leave me alone!

Father's Fear: Sir, reporting high levels of sass!

Father's Anger: Take it to DEFCON 2!

Father's Fear: DEFCON 2!

Dad: I don't know where this disrespectful attitude came from.

Anger: You want a piece of this, Pops?

Riley: Yeah, well...

Father's Anger: Prepare the foot!

Father's Fear: Keys to safety position!

[Father's emotions unlocks the foot and Father Fear is about to ready to hit the red button]

Father's Fear: Ready to launch on your command, sir!

Riley: [Anger hardly yells and pulls the lever as the explosion on the top of his head is on fire] Just shut up!

Father's Anger: Fire!

[Father Fear pushes the red button that releases the foot down]

Dad: That's it! Go to your room!

Father's Fear: The foot is down. The foot is down. Whoo!

[Father's emotions cheered]

Father's Anger: Good job, gentleman. That could have been a disaster.

Mother's Sadness: Well, that was a disaster.

[Riley is on the verge of tears after attempting to run away back to Minnesota after feeling very homesick]

Riley: I... I know you don't want me to, but... I miss home. I miss Minnesota. You need me to be happy, but I want my old friends, and my hockey team. I wanna go home. Please don't be mad.

[Riley's mother and father stare sadly at their daughter]

Mom: Oh, sweetie...

Dad: We're not mad. You know what? I miss Minnesota too. I miss the woods where we took hikes.

Mom: And the backyard where we used to play.

Dad: Spring Lake, where you used to skate.

[Riley breaks down in tears]

Dad: Come here.

[Riley, her mother, and her father all embrace in a group hug, consoling Riley]

Mom: Your dad's under a lot of pressure, but if you and I can keep smiling, it would be a big help. We can do that for him. Right?

Mom: The drive out was pretty fun. What was your favourite bit?

Anger: Spitting out the car window!

Disgust: Definitely not when Dad was singing

Fear: Wearing a seat belt!

Mom: Well, if you're both staying, remember the rules; Conrad, no playing ball in the house, no fighting, no answering the phone: "City Morgue".

Sally: Mommy, can't I have some rules?

Mom: No chewing tobacco.

Mom: [on phone] What do you mean you're leaving? You're a baby sitter. Baby sitters don't leave, they sit. Baby leavers leave.

[from the trailer]

Mom: We'll be back tomorrow night. Oh. If anything happens, call the police and hide in your closet.

Dad: He knows that.

Mom: I thought I told you to go to bed!

Milo: You told me to "go to bed". You didn't say "get into bed".

Mom: Milo!

Mom: I thought I told you to go to bed!

Milo: You told me to "Go to bed". You didn't say "Get into bed". It's not specific.

Mom: Milo, my life would be so much better if I didn't have to be a nagging mom!

Milo: Yeah, well, my life would be so much better if I didn't have a mom at all.

Mom: Is that broccoli?

Milo: No, that's vomit, but I understand the confusion.

Mom: I thought I told you to eat that!

Milo: Well, you're not gonna make me eat it now, are you?

Mom: Go to bed.

Milo: But you said I can watch...

Mom: No, that was before you lied to me and poisoned the cat!

Milo: That broccoli was poisonous?

Mom: No! Of course the broccoli wasn't poisonous!

Milo: Well, you just said that...

Mom: No, I-I-I meant that it's poisonous to the cat!

Milo: Well, how can it be good for me if it's poisonous to the cat?

Mom: Because cats are not suppose to eat vegetables!

Milo: Maybe I'm not suppose to eat vegetables!

Mom: Milo! Just go to bed. *Now*.

Mom: [holding on to a bicycle] I'm going to hold on to the saddle until you're ready for me to let go again.

Toby: I didn't know you could do this, Nana.

Mom: Oh, I wasn't aware of many things I could do until recently.

Mom: Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer, lots of them.

Smalls: Yeah, I know. But I'm not good at anything, mom. Face it, I'm just an egghead.

Son: [about Nicky] Who's that man, Mommy?

Mom: I dunno, but he sure is butt-ugly.

Mom: Now *that* was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!

Mom: I'm just worried.

Dad: About what?

Mom: I don't know. Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend.

Dad: Oh please. Come on honey, he's 17 years old.

Mom: That's what I'm worried about.

Dad: Let's be realistic here. This is Thomas we're talking about. He's not exactly Mr. Popular.

Mom: What is that supposed to mean?

Dad: I'm just saying that he's not that type of kid, you know. He's got a couple friends, they're gonna hang out, but they're not gonna do anything. He's a sweet kid, but he's a loser.

Mom: Come on honey, food's ready.

Dad: [listening to girls on walkie talkie] I'm not hungry!

[last lines]

Mom: Where is the babysitter?

Melissa Crandell: You promised to sign me up for baseball.

Mom: Little League will be there next year.

Melissa Crandell: So will Australia.

Mom: Melissa, want to get down from there?

Melissa Crandell: No.

Mom: Get down from there.

Mom: [catching Zach taking money from her wallet] Zach! Put it back. If you need money, ask first.

Zach Crandell: Okay then, can I have ten dollars?

Mom: Forget it!

Mom: Kenny, get back here, RIGHT NOW!

Kenny Crandell: [in the back of his friends' pickup] I'll do it later, Mom, I promise!

Mole: Isn't your mom leaving for like, months?

Kenny Crandell: Oh shit, you're right.

[hollers back]

Kenny Crandell: BYE MOM, HAVE A BLAST!

Mom: [dryly] Right.

Kenny Crandell: [hand signs] ROCK AND ROLL!

Melissa Crandell: How come you gotta go?

Mom: Because, I have had a very rough 37 years, and I need a break.

Melissa Crandell: You promised you'd sign me up for baseball!

Mom: Little League will be there next year.

Melissa Crandell: So will Australia! I wish Dad was around.

Mom: No you don't.

Mom: [Playing Santa] And this is for Daddy...

[Picks up a gift-wrapped bowling ball and drops it in The Old Man's Lap]

Mom: Here, from me to you.

The Old Man: [high-pitched] Thanks a lot!

Dad: What is this?

Mom: It's sauteed zucchini.

Dad: It's I-ty food. I don't want no I-ty food.

Mom: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash.

Dad: I know I-ty food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French Fries!

Mom: [to the cat] Oh, get off the table, Fellini!

Dad: Hey, that's *my* cat! His name's Jake, not Fellini! I won't have any "eenie" in this house!

[to the cat]

Dad: Your name's Jake, you understand?

Dad: He's never tired. He's never miserable.

Mom: He's young.

Dad: When I was young I was tired and miserable.

Mom: What's the matter?

Dad: He's shavin'.

Mom: Well... so what?

Dad: ...his legs.

Dad: What are we gonna do about him?

Mom: I don't know dear. We could always strangle him while he's asleep.

[Dave crosses himself on learning of Team Cinzano's imminent arrival]

Mom: Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.

Dad: God-damned see-thru coffee!

Mom: He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bicycle.

Dad: Yeah... well... now his body's fine, but his mind is gone.

Mom: Well, you could use some help. What if you gave him a job?

Dad: I don't want him sellin' used cars!

Mom: Why not? It's good enough for you.

Dad: Who says its good enough for me?

Mom: You do.

Dad: Damn right, it's good enough for me. But, I don't need any help. And he'd ruin me if I hired him. A weirdo kid like that. Jeez.

Mom: So, you see, I think you really should go. I think you should come home, singing, with a trophy. I think you should do all those things while you can.

Dave: I win this one for you Mama.

Stevo: Wait, time out. I just wanted to ask real quick, if I can. You believe in rebellion, freedom and love, right?

Mom: Absolutely, yes.

Dad: Rebellion, freedom, love.

Stevo: You two are divorced. So love failed. Two: Mom, your a New Ager, clinging to every scrap of Eastern religion that may justify why the above said love failed. Three: Dad, you're a slick, corporate, preppy-ass lawyer. I don't really have to say anything else about you do I dad? Four: You move from New York City, the Mecca and hub of the cultural world to Utah! Nowhere! To change nothing! More to perpetuate this cycle of greed, fascism and triviality. Your movement of the people, by and for the people got you... nothing! You just hide behind some lost sense of drugs, sex and rock and roll. Ooooh, Kumbaya! I am the future! I am the future of this great nation which you, father, so arrogantly saved this world for. Look, I have my own agenda. Harvard, out. University of Utah, in. I'm gonna get a 4.0 in damage. I love you guys! Don't get me wrong, it's all about this. But for the first time in my life, I'm 18 and I can say "FUUUUUCK YOU!"

Dad: Steven, I didn't sell out son. I bought in. Keep that in mind. That kid's gonna make a hell of a lawyer, huh?

Mom: Yeah, he takes after his father. He's a son of a bitch.

Dad: Well fuck you dear.

Mom: I just want you to know, I'm ready to make a change.

Ronnie Barnhardt: You gonna stop drinking?

Mom: I'm switching to beer.

Mom: When Ronnie was in high school, I used to fuck all of his friends.

Mom: I know it's hard, but try to look on the bright side. You may not be the smartest person in the world, but you're... handsome from certain angles and you're... More importantly, you've got dreams inside of you and dreams make you special. And no matter what the world, um, throws at you, uh, they - it can never take your dreams away.

Ronnie Barnhardt: What are you talking about, Mom?

Mom: I don't know, I'm drunk.

Mom: Come on! You gotta put on a clean shirt.

Billy: WHAT!

Clifford Skridlow: [towards the end of a rant as Doctor Detroit] ... Mom, if you want trouble - I am talking about scorched earth, no survival, whole-sale destruction... body-bags and fire TROUBLE

[smashes car windshield]

Clifford Skridlow: then you just keep comin' on!

Mom: You don't know what trouble is, jerkoff!

Clifford Skridlow: Mom, I am going to rip off your head and shit down your neck.

Carson: Mom! It's all over the street!

Mom: What?

Johnny: Doctor Detroit's movin' in! They say we're movin' out!

Mom: Oh, the Hell you say. I haven't even met the Doctor.

[takes shot of liquor]

Mom: But when I do,

[crushes shot glass in bare hand]

Mom: he's dog meat!

Mom: He sings like and angel. Aren't you my china plate?

[pinches Spud's cheek]

Mom: Oh my God, he's in love with a... dummy.

[faints]

Hollywood: Wait a minute honey, now I was gonna do that.

Hollywood: [Jason's mom faints] Once again left holding the bag.

Mom: [she looks at him]

Hollywood: Nothing personal.

Mom: Sweetheart, are you a top or a bottom?

[Mom hugs John but sniffs and wrinkles up her nose]

John: Oh, that's me. I smoke.

Mom: No, I smell feces.

John: OH, FUCK!

Mom: Let's go out for breakfast for a change, like a family.

Mona Gray: But we *are* a family.

Mom: Like another family, then.

Mom: [before being shot] I'm not... having... a very... good... time.

Mom: Don't worry, Ed; you and Paul'll enjoy working with an honest man. Once you get used to it.

Samantha: [as the family leaves their house for the last time before moving] Goodbye, yard! Goodbye, crepe myrtle! Goodbye, mailbox! Goodbye, box of stuff Mommy won't let us take with us but we don't want to throw away. Goodbye, house, I'll never like Mommy as much for making us move!

Mom: Samantha! Why don't you say goodbye to that little horseshit attitude, okay, because we're not taking that in the car.

Mom: [Mason is leaving for college] This is the worst day of my life.

Mason: What are you talking about?

Mom: [Starts crying] I knew this day was coming. I just... I didn't know you were going to be so fucking happy to be leaving.

Mason: I mean it's not that I'm that happy... what do you expect?

Mom: You know what I'm realising? My life is just going to go. Like that. This series of milestones. Getting married. Having kids. Getting divorced. The time that we thought you were dyslexic. When I taught you how to ride a bike. Getting divorced... again. Getting my masters degree. Finally getting the job I wanted. Sending Samantha off to college. Sending you off to college. You know what's next? Huh? It's my fucking funeral! Just go, and leave my picture!

Mason: Aren't you jumping ahead by, like, 40 years or something?

Mom: I just thought there would be more.

Samantha: [after leaving Bill's family for good] Why couldn't we take Randy and Mindy with us?

Mom: Because sweetie, I'm not their legal guardian, that would be kidnapping; it's against the law.

Samantha: Couldn't you talk to their mom?

Mom: I tried their mom, but I can't reach her.

Samantha: Well, what's going to happen to them?

Mom: [starts crying] I don't know...

Samantha: Why are you crying?

Mom: Because I don't have all the answers.

Mom: [Driving Mason Jr. home from school] Your teacher said you're behind on your homework assignments.

Mason: No, I did them, they were just sitting in my backpack.

Mom: So, why didn't you turn them in?

Mason: She never asked for them.

Mom: Well, honey, she's not supposed to ask for them. It's your job to give them to her once you've finished.

Mason: Oh.

Mom: She also said you destroyed her pencil sharpener.

Mason: No I didn't.

Mom: Then what did you put in it instead of pencils?

Mason: Rocks.

Mom: Why were you putting rocks in the pencil sharpener?

Mason: Because I needed them for my arrowhead collection.

Mason: Do you still love dad?

Mom: I still love your father, but that doesn't mean it was healthy for us to stay together.

Mason: What if after we move he's trying to find us, and he can't?

Mom: [Mason Jr. and Samantha start fighting in the backseat] Hey! What's going on back there? Stop it! Put a barrier up! Come on, make a barrier with your pillow!

Mom: Okay, we're going to play a game: Whoever can stay quiet the longest wins. And, go!

[Samantha and Mason Jr. start tickling each other, instead]

Mom: I've spent the first half of my life acquiring all this stuff and now I'll spend the second half getting rid of it!

Dad: Am I... am I your only ex at this party?

Mom: [chuckles] Yes. I'm not your only wife here though.

Mom: Did you get yourself some punch?

Lara Baxter: Mom, you have to stop treating me like a child. I just turned 16. Palestinian girls blow themselves up at my age.

Mom: Helen, I know this sounds horrible. but you have to stop looking at them as people.

Daughter: Mom, there's something wrong with nana and papa.

Mom: They're just OLD!

[first lines]

Mom: At the end of high school, I fell in love with a substitute English teacher. It was quite a scandal. Corin didn't start out a bad guy, though. We were together about 10 years and we had two kids. And then he fell in love with someone in a Starbucks, and moved to Palo Alto, California. Kind of severed relations with the three of us. My parents, if I were defending them, which I'm not, had said, back in the day, that he had an "impatient eye."They didn't like him. Week I left, things escalated. My parents cursed at me, which was, like, crazy unusual. And it ended, one afternoon, very badly. I left at 19, haven't spoken to my parents in 15 years. Whatever. That's just the history.

Mom: Recently, my parents looked me up on the Internet. Asked to meet their grandchildren. Spend a week with them. I looked my parents up, they have a counseling website. People love them. Ironically, they counsel people, which is a hoot. Whatever. I told the kids. They said they wanted to go. I told them I didn't want them to go. They said they were gonna go anyway. They're brats. What can I tell you? And my 15-year-old wants to make a documentary about this.

Becca: [from off-screen] Wait, wait, wait. Go back. Um, describe the events on the day you left your parents' farm at 19.

Mom: I did something I don't choose to tell you. If they choose to tell you, that's their right. Okay? I want to do this for you. Listen, they're good people. Ask them. Can I be done with my part? I still got to get you guys packed.

Mom: Those aren't your grandparents...

Jimmy Dale: Momma, he tried to kill me!

Mom: Well... that's none of my business.