Sparky Quotes in Speed Racer (2008)

Sparky: [as Speed preps for a race] How are you feeling?

Speed: [as he observes the coliseum] It's big.

Sparky: Hey, this cockpit is the exact same size as it was at Thunderhead.

Speed: Right.

Sparky: [pauses] Just wanted to say thanks, for what could be the most exciting moment of my life.

Speed: Couldn't have gotten here without you.

[they hug]

Ace: [Chasing Rolls Royce through desert] The brakes are gone! Jump!

Sparky: Shiiiit!

Sparky: [Driverless car continues on, disappearing behind large hill] Listen, it stopped...

Ace: Maybe we can fix it.

Sparky: [Car explodes in flames] I think not.

Ace: Sparky, think you can hotwire this mother?

Sparky: Know the scene, old man, El Keyo and El Ignitionario. I crack myself up when I talk Mexican.

Sparky: Are you crazy? You didn't have to kill him!

Mr. Turner: What are you worried about? Their union's got great life insurance coverage!

Sparky: Ohh! Those are my friends. My stinky farts, if I can't hold them they escape without my permission! But they are my friends. Sometimes when I need to breathe, I use them.

[farts and inhales the bubbles]

Sparky: See? they come in handy when you have to breathe.

Dornan: What I'd like to do now is to interview each of you individually. Who wants to go first?

Montoya Santana: Corky.

Dornan: Corky.

Puppet: Santana, how was the bus ride home?

Montoya Santana: Sunshine felt good.

Puppet: This is my brother, ese. They call him, Little Puppet. He's a genious, homes.

Mundo: Hey, don't get carried away.

Puppet: He does the placas in East L.A. Check it out.

[Shows a tatoo with naked babe]

Mundo: Nice tits.

Puppet: He's coming to Big Folsom. I want him with us.

J.D.: Can he take care of himself?

Puppet: He don't know no nothing, but I'll be responsible for him.

J.D.: You know what you do.

Montoya Santana: How are you doing on tecato, ese?

Little Puppet: I'm clean now, ese.

Montoya Santana: Thank you for helping to get this little meeting together, all right?

Little Puppet: Yeah, I'll do anything for my carnal.

Montoya Santana: When you come up, if you need anything just let us know. Running any problems, we'll take care of it, all right.

Little Puppet: Gracias.

Puppet: Carnalito.

Montoya Santana: Orale, Sparky, how are we doing in Vacaville?

Sparky: Slow, homes, we're trying to get it together, but we've got a little problem there. Some from the Familia want to take on them after they're starting their own clika. They're called La Nuestra Familia.

Montoya Santana: It's been a long time trying to get it together, dealing with whites and mayates only to be dealing with our own.

Huero: Orale, carnal, these aren't our own people, ese. They're nothing but a bunch of lame farmers from the North.

Montoya Santana: They're chicanos.

Courtney: Why does everyone have to go on a diet?

Sparky: Because! In cheerleading we throw people into the air. And fat people don't go as high.

Sparky: [the cheerleaders form a line for Sparky to inspect. To Kasey] You, you have weak ankles.

[to Whitney]

Sparky: One of your calves is bigger than the other.

[to next girl]

Sparky: Too much makeup.

[to next girl]

Sparky: Not enough makeup.

[to Courtney]

Sparky: What's with the skin? Say it with me; *sunlight*!

[to Jan and Les]

Sparky: Male cheerleaders, enough said.

[to Missy]

Sparky: Smile.

[She more grimaces than smiles]

Sparky: Don't smile.

Missy: [Under her breath] Jackass.

Sparky: [to Darcy] Good general tone and general musculature.

[Peeks around her to look at her butt]

Sparky: Report those compliments to your ass before it gets so big it forms it's own website!

[to Torrance]

Sparky: And you, I take you to be the captain, which means you'll probably need more work than anybody.

Sparky: I want you to think of what you ate today. Got it? Now cut that in half, this is called a diet, people, everyone start one today! Darcy, you should stop eating. You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!

Sparky: I understand you have underwear up your ass right now, but it beats the hell out of a shattered skull. Think about it.

Sparky: I am a choreographer. That's what I do. You are cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded. What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing. I will attempt to turn your robotic routines into poetry, written with the human body. Follow me, or perish, sweater monkeys.