Lonnie Quotes in School for Scoundrels (2006)

[from trailer]

Lonnie: Why is everybody gotta be so freakin' stupid these days?

Lonnie: [sung to the tune of Closing Time by Semisonic] It's closing time, time to roll to Chili's and chow down with my fuckin' boys.

Lonnie: Mr. B, about Abdullah... I'm really sorry about Abdullah. I know he's really wired up. I wish you'd think about giving him another chance.

Mr. B: I gave him a thousand chances. That's it! I don't want that belligerent trouble maker around my car wash anymore.

Lonnie: Mr. B, the man is just confused. He really is.

Mr. B: Lonnie, now is not the time.

Lonnie: Mr. B, every week I keep trying to talk to you, and every week you keep telling me "now is not the time". I've been working for you for over a year now. When is it gonna be time?

Mr. B: Look, I don't want to talk to you anymore about Duane! Okay?

Lonnie: Okay, let's don't talk about "Duane". Let's talk about me. I got to have more money, Mr. B. And I can't make it on what your payin' me right now. I've got two children to raise all by myself.

Mr. B: Lonnie, I can't. That Blue Bird Car Wash down the street is driving me out of business...

Lonnie: Mr. B, I keep telling you, you've got a big lot here! If you organize this thing right and spend a little money here and there, you could be making twice as much as you are now!

Mr. B: Lonnie, I know you've got ideas. You've got ideas. Don't I always pay you extra for opening and closing?

[shaking his head with frustration and disgust, Lonnie walks out]

Duane: I don't know, man, I don't know. I know I'm not crazy. But every day I have to come here and watch this clown show, man. Sometimes... just can't take it.

Lonnie: I know.

G: Who's taking care of your kids?

Lonnie: Jesus.

[first lines]

Noreen: Whew, sure is hot out tonight.

Hank: Hot.

Lonnie: Hotter than nine naked women in a Volkswagen.

Lonnie: How's Frank these days?

Noreen: Oh, he's Frank.

Lonnie: Got a job yet?

Noreen: Yeah, he's employee full time by the television.