Ernest Menville Quotes in Death Becomes Her (1992)

Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?

Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.

Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be FURIOUS!

Ernest Menville: 'Til death do us part! Well, you girls are dead. And I'm parting.

Emergency Room Doctor: I tell you what, kids, it's, uh, odd thing here. Your wrist, uh, far as I can tell, is, uh, fractured in three places. Uh, and you've shattered, uh, two vertebrae, though I can't be certain without an X-ray... The bone protrusion through the skin - that's not a good sign. You're body temperature is below 80, and your, your, your heart's stopped beating.

Ernest Menville: What the hell does that mean?

Emergency Room Doctor: Exactly! What... what... I'm going to get a second opinion.

[the doctor leaves in a hurry]

Madeline Ashton: Well, it could be worse.

Ernest Menville: She's dead!

Madeline Ashton: She is? Oh. These are the moments that make life worth living.

Ernest Menville: [at Helen's book party] Have you seen her yet?

Madeline: What a joke. She's not even here.

Ernest Menville: Wait. Look over there.

Madeline: [a heavy-set woman stands surrounded by people] Oh! Looks as though she's lost a few pou-

[the heavy set lady moves out of the way to reveal the incredibly thin Helen Sharp]

[Lisle has just stabbed Ernest's finger with the dagger]

Ernest Menville: Ah! Wha-what are you doing?

Lisle Von Rhuman: I'm loving you.

Helen Sharp: You're a powerful sexual being, Ernest.

Ernest Menville: I am?

Helen Sharp: Yes, you are. If I never told you before, it was because I wasn't the sort of girl who could say the word "sexual" without blushing. Well I can now. Sexual... sensual... sexy... sex... sex... sex...

Ernest Menville: [after the sample of potion] Oh my god...

Lisle Von Rhuman: Oh! Thank you!

Lisle Von Rhuman: Go on... Drink it... It is the completion of your life's work. You gave other people youth and wasted your own! Drink. And you will be able to work again forever! Drink... drink, Dr. Menville. You owe yourself another chance! Drink! It's the right choice! The *only* choice! Drink! SEMPRE VIVE! LIVE FOREVER!

Ernest Menville: Then what?

Lisle Von Rhuman: What?

Ernest Menville: Then what happens?

Lisle Von Rhuman: What?

Ernest Menville: I don't want to live forever. I mean, it sounds good, but what am I gonna do? What if I get bored?

Lisle Von Rhuman: What?

Ernest Menville: And what if I get lonely? Who am I gonna hang around with, Madeleine and Helen?

Lisle Von Rhuman: [Emerges from her pool wearing only high heels] I hope you don't mind that Harry and Dick had to dress you... You were inproperly attired, for the occasion.

Ernest Menville: What occasion?

Lisle Von Rhuman: I'm throwing a party upstairs... I throw one every Spring, for my clients.

Ernest Menville: All right... ok... what do you want with me?

Lisle Von Rhuman: For you... I'd like to give a present... The gift of life and youth, forever...

Helen Sharp: [Helen throws a Spade at Madeleine, who catches it] En garde! *Bitch*!

Ernest Menville: Girls, girls! Let's just calm down! I'm sure we can settle this peacefully and nego... WHOA!

[upon discovering her neck has twisted a complete 180 degrees]

Madeline Ashton: Ernest... my ass! I can *see*... my ASS!

Ernest Menville: And there's something really wrong with your neck too.

Vivian Adams: I never had a chance to thank you for the spectacular job you did with my Aunt Esther.

Ernest Menville: Oh, well, thank you very much.

Vivian Adams: Her color, her tone. You even brought out her cheekbones.

Ernest Menville: Well, that's my job.

Vivian Adams: It was almost a shame to bury her.

Ernest Menville: It's so sweet of you to say that.

Vivian Adams: Can I ask you what your secret is?

Ernest Menville: Spray paint. You see, you can't just use regular makeup on dead skin. The pores are too dry. You've gotta use a palette and grind the stuff in. One day I'm in the hardware store and I think to myself, "What about mannequin paint?"It's got its own chemical adhesive, comes in an incredible variety of flesh...

Vivian Adams: [aghast] Excuse me!

[hurries away]

Ernest Menville: Life has turned out as quite a party.

Helen: You used to hate parties.

Ernest Menville: That was when I was old. You should see me now.

Helen: I didn't know you were so unhappy.

Ernest Menville: [frantically] Life in prison? Know what that means to a person in your condition?

Helen: So negative. Let me enjoy the moment.

Ernest Menville: What about the neighbors?

Helen: Neighbors? In 12 years in Los Angeles, have you ever seen a neighbor?

Madeline Ashton: Who cares how I played? I won!

Ernest Menville: I'll just be upstairs...

Helen: That's 'cause you could raise your legs higher than anyone.

Ernest Menville: Do you know what they call someone who sticks by their word no matter what? At the cost of all else? Do you know?

Helen: No.

Ernest Menville: An idiot. From now on I'm gonna be the kind of idiot *I* wanna be. An idiot with a modicum of pride, because you know what? I finally realized something. I've lived up to my promise. Till death do us part. Well, you girls are dead. And I'm parting. Cheers.

Ernest Menville: [yells when he finds Helen in the house, when he has been upstairs preserving and painting Madeline]

Helen: [drops shovel] Where is she!

Ernest Menville: [nervously] Oh my gosh - Helen! What are you doing here?

Helen: [suspicious] What's that on your hands - blood?

Ernest Menville: Paint.

Helen: Paint? What would you be doing that you have paint on your hands?

Ernest Menville: Painting.

Helen: Ernest - are you doing something funny with Madeline?

Ernest Menville: Define "funny".