Lois Laurel Quotes in Monkey Business (1952)

Lois Laurel: [at her secretrial desk, responding to Barnaby's remark that she is at work early] Mr. Oxley's been complaining about my punctuation, so I'm careful to get here before nine.

[talking on the telephone to his secretary]

Oliver Oxley: Miss Laurel, now listen carefully! I want you to go to every Ford agency in town! and find Dr. Fulton!

[Miss Laurel looks confused]

Lois Laurel: But Mr. Oxley, which shall I do first?

Barnaby: All set. Is you motor running?

Lois Laurel: Is yours?

Barnaby: Takes while to warm up.

Lois Laurel: Does, me too.

Lois Laurel: Hi Dr Fulton.

Barnaby: Hi.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: What did you say to her?

Lois Laurel: Mrs Fulton. He said "hi".

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug!

Barnaby: Edwina, she hasn't done anything.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots!

Barnaby: Edwina! Now come along. Miss Laurel, you keep out of the way.

Mrs. Edwina Fulton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!

Barnaby: Alright. Now say terrify.

Lois Laurel: Terrify.

Barnaby: Now say tissue.

Lois Laurel: tissue.

Barnaby: Now say them both fast together.

Lois Laurel: Terrify tissue?

Barnaby: [burst in laughs]

Oliver Oxley: [Miss Laurel opens door] I told you I didn't want any calls.

Lois Laurel: Mr. Oxley, Dr. Linten's on the phone. I told him you were busy but he says it's very important.

Oliver Oxley: Who is he?

Lois Laurel: He...

Barnaby: He's my new assistant.

Oliver Oxley: Oh, yes. Just a moment, Miss Laurel. Find someone to type this.

Lois Laurel: Oh, Mr. Oxley, can't I try again?

Oliver Oxley: No, it's very important. Better find somebody to type it for you.

Lois Laurel: Yes, sir.

[Walks to door and closes it]

Oliver Oxley: Anybody can type.

[picks up telephone receiver]

Oliver Oxley: Who did she say was calling?

Barnaby: Dr. Linten.

Oliver Oxley: Oh, yes.

[Speaks to Dr. Linten through receiver]

Oliver Oxley: Yes, Dr. Lintel? Yes? I know he's not there. Dr. Fulton is here with me. Ye - what? Really? What sort of reactions? Why, that's amazing! We'll be right there. Come on, Barnaby. You've done better work than you know.

[Both run to door. Mr. Oxley opens door]

Oliver Oxley: Come along, Miss Laurel. It's amazing.

Barnaby: What's amazing?

Oliver Oxley: Dr. Whatchamacallit says one of your monkeys broke loose. We've got to hurry.

[Barnaby and Oxley in his office. Oxley to his secretary Miss Laurel, whose assets are in other areas]

Oliver Oxley: Oh, just a moment Miss Laurel. Find someone to type this.

[Oxley hands Miss Laurel a sheet of paper]

Lois Laurel: Oh, Mr. Oxley. Can't I try again?

Oliver Oxley: No, it's very important. Better find someone to type it for you.

Lois Laurel: Yes sir.

[Miss Laurel, disappointed, turns around and saunters out of the office, waggling her behind as she leaves. Both Barnaby and Oxley watch her retreat intently. Then Barnaby turns to look at Oxley]

Oliver Oxley: Anybody can type.