Lois Lane Quotes in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Lois Lane: You're psychotic.

Lex Luthor: That is a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds.

Superman: All this time I've been living my life the way my father saw it. Righting wrongs for a ghost, thinking I'm here to do good. Superman was never real. Just the dream of a farmer from Kansas.

Lois Lane: That farmer's dream is all some people have. It's all that gives them hope.

[touches the S shield]

Lois Lane: This means something.

Superman: It did on my world. My world doesn't exist anymore.

Superman: Luthor. He wanted your life for her's. She's losing time.

Lois Lane: The scout ship seems to be drawing power from the city. It's gotta be Lex.

Batman: They need you at that ship. I'll find her.

Superman: My mother needs me.

Batman: [stops him] Wait. I'll make you a promise: Martha won't die tonight.

Batman: [suffocating Superman with his foot on his throat] You were never a god. You were never even a man!

Superman: [hardly breathing] You're letting them kill Martha...

Batman: What does that mean? Why did you say that name?

Superman: Find him... Save Martha...

Batman: Why did you say that name? Martha? Why did you say that name? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?

Lois Lane: [enters running] It's his mother's name! It's his mother's name.

Swanwick: Here's the truth: a reporter got greedy for a scoop and went where she shouldn't have, Superman acted like some rogue combatant to rescue her, and people died. Don't invent a conspiracy theory to put back his halo, or yours.

Lois Lane: I don't have a halo over my head, General. I walked into the desert, people died. It keeps me awake at night. It should.

[last lines]

Lois Lane: Hi, Lois Lane. Welcome to The Planet.

Clark Kent: Glad to be here Lois.

Colonel Nathan Hardy: Miss Lane. I'm Colonel Hardy, U.S. Northcom. Dr. Emil Hamilton from DARPA. You're early.

Dr. Emil Hamilton: Hi.

Colonel Nathan Hardy: We were expecting you tomorrow.

Lois Lane: Which is why I showed up today. Look, let's get one thing straight, guys, okay? The only reason I'm here is because we're on Canadian soil and the appellate court overruled your injunction to keep me away. So, if we're done measuring dicks, can you have your people show me what you found?

Perry White: Two weeks leave, no pay, that's your penance. You try something like this again, you're done here.

Lois Lane: [turning to leave] Fine.

Perry White: So let's make it three weeks, since you're so willing to agree with me.

Lois Lane: Perry...

Perry White: No, no. Don't. Don't. I believe you saw something, Lois. But not for a moment do I believe that your leads just went cold. So whatever your reasons are for dropping it, I think you're doing the right thing.

Lois Lane: Why?

Perry White: Can you imagine how people on this planet would react if they knew there was someone like this out there?

Lois Lane: Why are you surrendering to Zod?

Superman: I'm surrendering to mankind. There's a difference.

Lois Lane: You let them handcuff you?

Superman: Wouldn't be much of a surrender if I resisted. And if it makes them feel more secure, then... then all the better for it.

Lois Lane: What's the 'S' stand for?

Superman: It's not an 'S.' On my world it means 'hope.'

Lois Lane: [smiles] Well, here it's an 'S.' How about... Super-

[interrupted by Dr. Hamilton]

Faora: Are you the ranking officer here?

General Swanwick: I am.

Faora: [pointing at Lois] General Zod would like this woman to accompany me.

Colonel Nathan Hardy: You asked for the alien. You didn't say anything about one of our own.

Faora: Shall I tell the general you're unwilling to comply?

Colonel Nathan Hardy: I don't care what you tell him.

Lois Lane: It's all right. I'll go.

Lois Lane: [Voiceover during montage of her searching for Clark] How do you find someone who has spent a lifetime covering his tracks? You start with the urban legends that have sprung up in his wake. All of the friends of a friend who claimed to have seen him. For some, he was a guardian angel. For others, a cipher; a ghost who never quite fit in. As you work your way back in time, the stories begin to form a pattern.

Lois Lane: I figured if I turned over enough stones you'd eventually find me. Where are you from? What are you doing here? Let me tell your story.

Clark Kent: What if I don't want my story told?

Lois Lane: It's going to come out eventually. Somebody's going to get a photograph or figure out where you live.

Clark Kent: Well, then I'll just disappear again.

Lois Lane: The only way you could disappear for good is to stop helping people altogether, and I sense that's not an option for you.

Lois Lane: Where did you come from?

Jor-El: The command key, Miss Lane. Thanks to you, I'm uploading to this ship's mainframe.

Lois Lane: Who are you?

Jor-El: I am Kal's father.

Lois Lane: Can you help us?

Jor-El: I designed this ship. I can modify its atmospheric composition to human compatibility. We can stop them. We can send them back to the Phantom Zone.

Lois Lane: How?

Jor-El: I can teach you. And in turn, you can teach Kal. Will you help me?

Lois Lane: You know, they say it's downhill after the first kiss.

Superman: I'm pretty sure that only counts when you're kissing a human.

Lois Lane: [Jor-El's image appears behind Lois] Where did you come from?

Jor-El: The command key Miss Lane; thanks to you, I'm uploading into the ship's mainframe.

Lois Lane: Who are you?

Jor-El: I am Kal's father.

Lois Lane: Can you help us?

Lois Lane: I designed this ship, I can modify its atmospheric composition to human compatibility. We can stop them, we can send them back to the phantom zone.

Lois Lane: How?

Jor-El: I can teach you; and in turn you can teach Kal. Will you help me?

[Scene cuts to ships flying through clouds, and then approaching Earth's surface]

Jor-El: The Ship's crew are alerted. We need to move quickly. Retrieve the command key.

[Lois retrieves the key, and Jor uses power to open door, they are ambushed a moment later by a female guard, Jor uses power to slam the door on her arm]

Lois Lane: Did you do that?

Jor-El: Yes, pick up her sidearm.

Jor-El: [Lois retrieves the weapon then begins to follow Jor down the corridor, scene cuts to Kal escaping from Zod's chambers, then to Earth where spaceships can be seen flying overhead, then returns to the corridors aboard the command ship] To your right, fire. Behind you.

[uses power to slam door. Then guides Lois to escape pod chamber, using power to open the door]

Jor-El: Secure yourself inside the open pod. Safe travels Miss Lane, it's highly unlikely we'll be seeing each other again. Remember, the phantom drives are essential in stopping them... Move your head to the left.

Steve Lombard: Come on, Lois. When are you gonna throw me a bone? Court-side seats to the game tonight. What do you say?

Lois Lane: I say you should go back to trolling the intern pool. You'll probably have more luck. Sorry.

Superman: Easy, miss. I've got you.

Lois Lane: You - you've got me? Who's got you?

[Interviewing Superman]

Lois Lane: How big are you... um... how *tall* are you?

[Superman surprises Lois on her balcony]

Lois Lane: Um, um, would you like a glass of wine?

Superman: Uh, no, no thanks. I never drink when I fly.

Lois Lane: Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am, like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool. Will you look at me? Quivering. Like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things I'm thinking of? Wondering why you are... all the wonderful things you are. You can fly. You belong in the sky. You and I... could belong to each other. If you need a friend... I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved... here I am. Read my mind.

Clark Kent: Really, Lois, supposing that man had shot you? Is it worth risking your life over ten dollars, two credit cards, a hairbrush, and a lipstick?

Lois Lane: How did you know that?

Clark Kent: Know what?

Lois Lane: You just described the exact contents of my purse.

[Clark peeks in her purse]

Clark Kent: Hmm. Uh, wild guess.

[Superman and Lois are standing on opposite sides of a large planter]

Lois Lane: What color underwear am I wearing?

Superman: [looking] Hmmm...

Lois Lane: Oh, I'm sorry, I embarrassed you, didn't I?

Superman: Oh, no, no, no, not at all, Miss Lane, it's just that this planter must be made of lead.

Lois Lane: Uh, yes it is. So?

Superman: Well, you see, I, uh, I sort of have a problem seeing through lead.

Lois Lane: Oh, that's interesting.

Lois Lane: [Writing] Problem seeing through lead. Hmmm. Uh, d-do you have a first name?

Superman: What do you mean, like, uh, Ralph or something?

Lois Lane: No, no, I mean like...

[walks away from the planter]

Superman: Pink.

Lois Lane: Huh?

Superman: Pink.

[Lois walks back to the planter]

Superman: Um, sorry, Miss Lane, I didn't mean to embarrass you.

Superman: I'm here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.

Lois Lane: [laughs] You're gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!

Lois Lane: [being rescued, stammering] Who... are you?

Superman: A friend.

[flies away]

Superman: [waves] Bye.

[Lois waves, and stares at Superman, then sinks into a faint]

Clark Kent: [in Superman's voice] Lois, there's something I have to tell you. I'm really...

[In Clark's voice]

Clark Kent: I-I mean I was, at first, really nervous about tonight, uh... but then I decided, darn it! I'm gonna show you the time of your life.

Lois Lane: [still infatuated with Superman] That's Clark, nice.

Lois Lane: Any more at home like you?

Clark Kent: Uh, not really, no.

Superman: Uh, you really shouldn't smoke, you know, Miss Lane.

Lois Lane: Don't tell me. Lung cancer, right?

Superman: [x-rays her lungs] Well, not yet, thank goodness.

Clark Kent: Excuse me, Mr. White. I was wondering if, if, uh, perhaps you could arrange for half my salary to be sent to this address on a weekly basis.

Lois Lane: Your bookie, right?

Clark Kent: My what?

Lois Lane: Don't tell me: he sends a check every week to his sweet, grey-haired old mother.

Clark Kent: Actually, she's silver-haired.

Lois Lane: What a super man... "Superman"!

Jimmy Olsen: What are you writing, Miss Lane?

Lois Lane: An ode to spring. How do you spell massacre?

Lois Lane: As you know, my newspaper, the Daily Planet, is very interested in that dam, Chief, but what I don't understand is why you would sell out to a faceless person that you've never met. I mean, you don't even know his name.

[the Chief taps on Lois' dashboard as she goes off the road]

Lois Lane: Oh, yeah!

Indian Chief: At the stupid high price that he offered for this worthless piece of desert, I hope it's Custer!

Lois Lane: Perfect! That's just what I need. Thank you.

Lois Lane: Oh, hi Rex!

Rex Reed: Hey Lois!

Lois Lane: See anything good today?

Rex Reed: Not 'til you came along.

Lois Lane: Oh, Rex, this is, uh...

Clark Kent: Clark Kent.

Rex Reed: Yeah, see you around.

Lois Lane: [Repeated line; whenever Lois is in danger] Help me! HELP!

Superman: Listen; what do you hear?

Lois Lane: Nothing.

Superman: I hear everything. You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.

Jimmy Olsen: Look up in the sky, see?

[Points at a small figure of Superman in the picture]

Lois Lane: It's a bird

Perry White: It's a plane

Jimmy Olsen: No, it's...

[Is interrupted by the entrance of Clark]

Clark Kent: You wanted to see me?

Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.

Lois Lane: You're insane.

Lex Luthor: No!

[chuckling]

Lex Luthor: Not that. The other thing. Come on, I know it's dangling on the tip of your tongue. Let me hear it just once, please?

Lois Lane: Superman will never...

Lex Luthor: WRONG!

[last lines]

Jason White: [Yells and waves from his window] GOOD NIGHT!

Lois Lane: [Lois is standing in the front yard thinking about Superman, she is then startled when she hears Jason, she sees Jason waving out to the sky, she then looks at the sky and sees Superman floating right above her] I... Will we see you... around?

Superman: I'm always around. Good night, Lois.

[Flies off]

Lois Lane: [about Jason] He's a little fragile, but he's gonna grow up to be big and strong... just like his dad.

Lois Lane: But millions of people will die!

Lex Luthor: Billions! Once again, the press underestimates me.

[Lex notices Jason staring at the Kryptonite in fear]

Lex Luthor: Who is that boy's father?

Lois Lane: Richard.

[Grant's voice comes over the intercom]

Grant: Mr. Luthor, we're approaching the coordinates.

Lex Luthor: [to Lois, ignoring Grant] Are you sure?

Grant: [misunderstanding] Yes sir.

Lois Lane: [gasps after Lex comes out of the bathroom] Lex Luthor!

Lex Luthor: [toothbrush in mouth] Lois Lane?

Jason White: You're bald!

Jason White: Mommy, are we trespassing?

Lois Lane: No. Yes. Shh!

Richard White: Lois, that article you wrote.

Lois Lane: "Why the world doesn't need Superman?"

Richard White: No the other one.

Lois Lane: Which one? I wrote dozens of them, I was practically his press agent.

Richard White: The one from years ago before we met, "I spent the night with Superman".

Lois Lane: Richard it was the title of an interview plus it was your Uncle Perry's idea.

Richard White: I know.

Richard White: Were you in love with him?

Lois Lane: He was Superman. Everyone was in love with him.

Richard White: Even you?

Lois Lane: [pause] ... No.

Lois Lane: Well you're back and everyone seems happy about it.

Superman: Not everyone.

Lois Lane: But there are a dozen other stories out there.

Perry White: Yeah? Name one.

Lois Lane: Well, there was a museum robbery last night. Hmm? Even Superman missed that one... he was too busy saving this hooker.

[points at photo of Superman carrying Kitty]

[leans in to kiss Superman, but pulls back at the last moment]

Lois Lane: Richard's a good man... and you've been gone a long time.

Lex Luthor: But we're not really strangers, are we? This is kind of a little reunion, isn't it? Heck, I'm a fan. I love your writing... and your dress.

Lois Lane: I love your boat. How'd you get it? Swindle some old widow out of her money?

Lex Luthor: [gushes and chuckles mockingly] That's funny. Hey, didn't you win the Pulitzer Prize for my favorite article of all time, 'Why the World DOESN'T Need Superman'?

Lois Lane: Didn't you have a few more years to go on that DOUBLE life sentence?

Lex Luthor: [pause as he glares at her] Yes, well, we can thank the Man of Steel for that. I mean, he's really good at swooping in and catching the bad guys, but he's not so hot at the little things, like Miranda rights, due process,

[under his breath]

Lex Luthor: making your court date...

Lois Lane: How many "f's" in "catastrophic"?

Lex Luthor: What do you know about crystals?

Lois Lane: They make great chandeliers.

Lois Lane: [after being locked in the pantry on Lex's yacht and discovering that her son is Superman's] Could you help mommy open this door?

Lois Lane: You know my um... Richard. He's a pilot. He takes me up all the time.

Superman: Not like this.

Superman: I read the article, Lois.

Lois Lane: Yeah, so did a lot of people. Tomorrow night, they're giving me the Pulitzer...

Superman: Why did you write it?

Lois Lane: How could you leave us like that? I moved on. So did the rest of us. That's why I wrote it. The world doesn't need a savior. And neither do I.

Lois Lane: Chief, I've done Superman.

[Jimmy snickers. Lois, Clark, and Perry look at him]

Lois Lane: Covered him. You know what I mean.

Lois Lane: How did you get here?

Richard White: I flew.

Lois Lane: I don't know if you can hear me. They say that sometimes when people are... that they can hear you.

Lois Lane: Richard's an assistant editor here who's basically saved our International section. He's also a pilot and he loves horror movies.

Clark Kent: [sighs theatrically, trying to appear impressed]

Lois Lane: [to Richard] Clark is...

Clark Kent: [smirks at her expectantly]

Lois Lane: Well...

[chuckles]

Lois Lane: he's Clark.

[to Superman]

Lois Lane: I forgot how warm you are.

Superman: I know lots of people are asking questions now that I'm back, and I think it's only fair that I answer... those people.

Lois Lane: So... you're here for an interview?

Lois Lane: Well, you're back and everyone seems happy about it.

Superman: Not everyone.

Perry White: I don't understand you Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring me three thousand boring pictures. Yet Superman saves a man from drowning on 3rd Avenue this morning while you stand there watching the whole thing and you don't even bring me one picture.

Jimmy Olsen: Chief, I didn't have my camera with me.

Perry White: [while Jimmy mouths the words he knows by heart] A photographer *eats* with his camera. A photographer *sleeps* with his camera.

Lois Lane: I'm glad I'm a writer.

Perry White: I don't have to tell you, it isn't easy for me to lose one of my best reporters.

Clark Kent: Oh, that's okay.

Perry White: But you deserve the vacation, Lois.

Lois Lane: Thank you.

Superman: [after admitting to Lois that he's Superman] We'd better talk.

Lois Lane: I'm in love with you.

Superman: We'd really better talk.

Lois Lane: [on herself being the only person in the world to know Superman's secret identity, to Clark] ... I didn't sleep a wink last night. Do you know what it's like to hear birds singing at dawn, after you've just spend the whole night crying...? Don't you know this is KILLING me? Have you any idea what it's like... to have you come in here every day, and not be able to talk normally to you, or show how I feel about you, or speak to anybody else about you... Hell, I don't even know what to CALL you!

[Clark Kent has been beaten in a fistfight after losing his superpowers]

Clark Kent: Looks like from now on you'll have to have a bodyguard with you.

Lois Lane: I don't want a bodyguard. I want the man I fell in love with.

Clark Kent: I know, Lois. I wish he was here.

Ursa: What an undemanding male this Superman must be.

Lois Lane: Yeah, and you could use a tuck here and there yourself, sister.

Clark Kent: I have to go back.

Lois Lane: You can't go back, there's no way now.

Clark Kent: I have to. I've gotta try dammit, I've got to try something. Anything!

Lois Lane: It's not your fault. You didn't know this was going to happen.

Clark Kent: They knew. They tried to tell me. But, I didn't listen.

Lois Lane: I'm gonna' be fine. Don't worry about me.

Clark Kent: I like worrying about you.

Lois Lane: Once a girl's seen Superman in action, Niagara Falls kind of leaves you cold. You know what I mean?

Lois Lane: Well, let's see what trouble I can get into today. Lueene. What's happening in the world?

[Lueene rolls her eyes and walks out of Lois's office]

Lois Lane: Lueene?

[Lois shrugs and gets back to work]

General Zod: [referring to Superman's home] Scruffy. Morbid. A sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished. No style at all!

Superman: I expect better manners from my guests, Zod.

Lois Lane: Superman, this wasn't my idea...!

General Zod: Accept your destiny, Kal-El. As your father once condemned us, so now do we condemn his misbegotten brat!

General Zod: [after rampaging through the Daily Planet, Zod thinks he has found Superman. He holds Jimmy way up by the collar] ... *This* is the son of Jor-El?

Jimmy Olsen: No, but I'll bet *you're* the son of a...!

Lois Lane: [cutting him off] *Jimmy!*

General Zod: Did you think we would give up our advantage? Now... the son of Jor-El will be my slave... forever, if not, the millions of Earthlings you protect shall pay for your defiance. Destroy this place.

Lex Luthor: Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

General Zod: We have no more use for this one, kill him.

Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General... you came to me with nothing, I gave you Superman!

General Zod: Silence!

Lex Luthor: Well, look -

[Non shoves Luthor from behind]

Lex Luthor: Watch it, don't touch me!

[to Superman]

Lex Luthor: Guy's a clod; promises were made, gifts exchanged. I gotta hand it to you, you know. You always told the truth, a guy always knew where he stood with you.

Superman: Hmm.

[whispers to Lex Luthor]

Superman: Try and get them all into this molecule chamber. It takes away their powers, see... and turns them into ordinary human beings. Now if you could -

[Zod approaches]

Superman: Shh, shh!

Lex Luthor: General, don't go in there, it's a trap.

Superman: Luthor, you poisonous snake!

Lex Luthor: That's a molecule chamber. It makes people like you into people like me.

General Zod: You've done well, Lex Luthor.

Lex Luthor: General, uh... the crystal there, uh... activates the mechanism.

General Zod: Lex Luthor, ruler of Australia... activate the machine.

[Non grabs Luthor and flies him up to the control panel]

Lex Luthor: Thank you.

[takes a crystal]

Lex Luthor: With your permission.

[Lois cries as Superman enters the chamber and the lights turn on]

General Zod: [Superman exits the chamber, and proceeds to kneel before Zod] And now... finally. Take my hand... and swear eternal loyalty to Zod.

[Superman grips Zod's hand and crushes it]

General Zod: Ahhh, uuuuh! Oooohhh, ahhh!

[Superman lifts Zod off the ground]

General Zod: Oooh, oh no!

[Superman throws Zod against the Fortress's wall, where he falls into the chasm below]

General Zod: Ugggh!

Non: Urgh!

[Non tries to fly, but falls off the cliff, into the chasm below]

Non: Huh? Ohhhh!

Lex Luthor: He switched it, he did it to them! I mean, the lights were on out here... while he was safe in there!

[Superman nods and gives Luthor an OK sign]

Lois Lane: You know something? You're a real pain in the neck!

[Lois punches Ursa into the chasm below]

Ursa: Uurghhhh!

Superman: [Lois goes to Superman, who hugs her] Are you all right?

Lois Lane: Mm-hmm.

Superman: I knew you'd double-cross me, Luthor. A lying weasel like you couldn't resist the chance.

Lex Luthor: Me, are you kidding? Hey, I was with you all the time! That was beautiful! Did you see the way they fell into our trap? Ha ha ha ha!

Superman: Too late, Luthor! Too late.

Lex Luthor: Look - look, Superman, I got- I got a proposition for you. Now, now don't stop me, don't stop until you've heard me because... I know I owe you one, but we're in the North Pole, right? Let's wipe the slate clean. If you give me a ride back, I promise I'll turn over a whole new leaf...

Lois Lane: You gotta go with your gut.

Lois Lane: I'd want to tell him that I cherished the time we spent together, and I never expected anything from him. Even if I only saw him for a few moments, it made me happy. And I'd want to tell him that I love him and that I'll always love him. And... no matter what happens on this world, I know he tried his best to help us.

Lacy Warfield: You can't park here! You'll get towed! Lois, do you have any idea how much a ticket's gonna cost here?

Lois Lane: Lacy, it's only money!

[Superman is addressing the UN]

Lacy Warfield: What's he gonna say?

Lois Lane: Something wonderful.

Jimmy Olsen: [unaware of approaching derailment] This train is really goin'. The engineer must be late for dinner.

Lois Lane: The way he's traveling he hasn't eaten all week!

[looks out window]