Jack "Duece" Cooper Quotes in Ed (1996)

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Jack "Duece" Cooper Quotes:

  • Jack "Duece" Cooper: I am going to spank that monkey!

  • Stats Jefferson: You play major league?

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: No.

    Stats Jefferson: Minor league?

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: No.

    Stats Jefferson: Anybody ever see you play?

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: My mom.

  • Jack "Duece" Cooper: [to a spider] Hey Charlotte, where's Wilbur?

    [cut to his mom serving up ham]

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: Wilbur, Mom you didn't.

  • Lydia: Two fingers is a curve ball, right?

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: That's a peace sign, I think.

  • Jack "Duece" Cooper: [Ed's trying to get in the house pretending to need the bathroom] How dumb do I look? You wanted to play hardball remember? There's a sandbox down there so go pee your socks off, and *quit* banging on the door.

    [closes the door and Ed breaks it down]

    Jack "Duece" Cooper: What the?

Browse more character quotes from Ed (1996)

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Characters on Ed (1996)