Lana Quotes in Angel (1984)

Lana: I don't know about you girls but I wanna get the hell out of this town. Somewhere there's clean air where you can breathe. I don't know, maybe Tahiti?

Molly Stewart/Angel: Tahiti? Why Tahiti?

Mae: Because the men use their dicks for oars.

Lana: Shut up. That's your business. Look, I don't care if you're half monkey or half ape, I'm gettin' you out of here.

[John and Tom have pulled Brandon's pants down to show Lana that her boyfriend is biologically female, but Lana refuses to acknowledge it]

Lana: Leave him alone!

John Lotter: HIM? HIM?

Lana: What were you like... before all this? Were you like me, like a GIRL girl?

Brandon: Yeah... like a long time ago... but then I guess I was just like a boy girl, then I was just a jerk.

Lana: God, I hate my life.

Lana's Mom: [drunk on the sofa] Lana?

Brandon: I hate your life, too.

Lana: No.

Brandon: Why not? You're beautiful.

Lana: Come over here.

Lana: [to Brandon] Who are you?

Brandon: Lana, you are one cranky girl.

Lana: Yeah, well, you'd be cranky, too, Mister I'm Going To Memphis Graceland Tennessee, if you were stuck in a town where there's nothing to do but go bumper skiing and chase bats every night of your evil fucking life.

Lana: I mean, you don't have to be sober to weigh spinach.

Joel Goodson: Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.

Lana: What's wrong with that?

Joel Goodson: I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.

Joel Goodson: So is this Guido guy... he's your "manager"?

Lana: That's right.

Joel Goodson: Or a pimp?

Lana: Now that's quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?

Joel Goodson: Uh, my name isn't really Ralph. It's Joel.

Lana: Mmmm. I'll be needing 300 bucks... *Joel*.

Joel Goodson: You're kidding.

Lana: No, I don't believe that I am.

Joel Goodson: Well, uh, it's just that I don't have that much here in the house.

Lana: How much do you have?

Joel Goodson: I have 50 dollars.

Lana: 50 dollars? What are we going to do about this, Joel?

Joel Goodson: I don't know.

[pauses]

Joel Goodson: Could I send it to you?

Lana: [incredulous] Could you *send* it to me?

Joel Goodson: [long pause] I, uh, have a bond at the bank. I could go cash that.

Lana: I'm not real good at waiting.

Joel Goodson: I'll be quick.

Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.

Lana: Joel, go to school. Go learn something.

[Lana is the prostitute Joel has hired using an alias]

Lana: Are you ready for me... Ralph?

Lana: What if I said I'd be your girlfriend the next couple of days? No charge.

Lana: I'm really trying to be, friends with you. But, I'd appreciate it, if you'd stop laying these little judgments on me, while you're leaning on your daddy's $40,000 car.

[after Joel's Princeton interview]

Lana: So, how're we doin'?

Joel Goodson: Looks like University of Illinois!

Lana: That was quite a story. Right entertainin', but Sugar I don't know who you think you're foolin'

Hugh: What do you mean?

Lana: Lana may be three sheets to the preverbial wind, but I don't believe a single word coming out of your pretty, straight, little mouth.

Lana: I may be a fabulous looking broad, but I got a penis. This ain't no disco and I don't want no "Crying Game" drama.

Lana: [referring to a pregnancy test result] Wow, pink. That's like, good, right?

[tribe offers Lana ool for alounda]

Lana: [refusing] Nya ool.

Atouk: Nya ool.

Lana: Atouk. Lana alounda Atouk.

Tala: [looking on, angry] Lana.

Gog: Tonda Lana?

Bork: Lar?

Atouk: Lar nya.

Kalta: Nya?

Atouk: Lar glug-glug-glug.

Kalta: Atouk!

Bork, Kalta: Lar!

Lana: [caressing] Atouk.

Atouk: Cuda. Haraka.

Kalta: Haraka.

Lana: Atouk...?

Kalta: Lar.

Atouk: Haraka! Haraka!

Lana: [seductively] Atouk... Atouk. Atouk.

Tala: [as Atouk returns to Lana's embrace] Lana, Lana.

Ta: Atouk, cuda.

[others exclaiming "Lar! Cuda! Atouk? Lar!"]

Atouk: [agreeing, gets up] Cuda. Cuda!

Lana: Atouk.

Folg: Cuda. Cuda!

Lana: You're lying.

Ilse: I don't lie. I create reality.

Sweenie: Never thank someone like me. I'm not worth it.

Lana: You might surprise yourself.

Ilse: I see you've learned how to stand up for yourself. But this is beyond what I was thinking is... healthy.

Lana: I trusted you.

Ilse: Honey... I don't understand what happened to you. I have done nothing to harm you, and you know that, in your heart.

Lana: Did you hear a baby cry?

Ilse: No.

Lana: That is so strange. I heard it.

Ilse: That's when it started.

Lana: Do you like me as much as your old farm?

Lana: [narrating] I was born here. In this town my choice is simple, work in the slaughterhouse, or sleep with Vadim. I hate this place.

Lana: Can we walk? I really want to see Moscow.

Janie: No, Lana, you can't walk. Moscow is so big I mean it takes like a month just to cross the street.

Lana: You are so lucky.

Janie: I guess. Stuff is just stuff.

Lana: Unless you don't have stuff.

Mamie: Oh God. Sometimes I wish I would just wake up dead.

Lana: Don't say that. We're going to have fun. Aren't we, Bridget?

Mamie: I don't remember the last time I had fun. Probably 18 years ago, before you were born.

Bridget: [who is a man in drag] Yeah we're gonna have fun, of course we're gonna have fun, it's gonna be a great time, and then after we're done seeing the sights, then we'll go out, we'll have a little dinner or something, and afterwards we'll go to a nice club, have a couple of drinks, do some dancing, maybe we'll meet some young guys, you know? That'd be nice, wouldn't it, huh? Some young hunks, some young beefcake, huh? Maybe we'll go home with one of 'em for the night, you know, maybe? Why not, I feel lucky tonight. It's been a long time since I been with a man, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, this could be my night. Yeah, after all, look at me, I'm a fabulous looking broad, huh? Yeah, with my beautiful hair and my pearls and my fantastic figure, huh? Yeah, it'll be nice.

Lana: You're so beautiful and glamorous, Bridget. You're so glamorous. You never have any trouble meeting men.

Mamie: I had a man once - Frank Gherkin. Oh god, he did me wrong. He took my love.

[walks out of the room]

Bridget: Don't pay any attention to your old lady. She's just bitter, all right? You and I, we're gonna pick up a couple of guys on this trip if it kills us, huh?

Lana: I wouldn't mind meeting a nice boy.

Mamie: [walks back into the room] Lana, are you bothering Bridget again?

Bridget: She's bugging the shit out of me!

Lana: No I'm not, I was just...

Mamie: How many times have I told you not to bother my friends? How many times must I tell you to stop bothering Bridget? How many mornings must I awaken to the searing pain of the reality of your existence?

Lana: I'm your daughter. That was rather mean.

Mamie: You suffocate any breeze of joy that could possibly waft through the shuttered windows of my soul.

Lana: Hey, that remark was pretty harsh.

Mamie: Your birth is the life sentence I receive for the crime of loving the wrong man. You are my warden, my jailor, my executioner.

Lana: Oh, now that one hurts me a great deal.

Bridget: What are we arguing about, girls? Let's go to the big city and have some fun, all right, eh?

Lana: Mom, wouldn't it be great if I met someone and fell in love on this trip?

Mamie: I think it would be wonderful if on this trip you fell into a hole... a very deep hole.

Lana: That was the kind of remark that I'm gonna have to work to get over.

Bridget: Hey, girls, we're in Chicago, I'm beautiful, fuggadaboutit.

Sam: Who you here with?

Lana: My hateful mother and the glamorous Bridget.

Molly: [outside Wrigley Field] Do they play baseball here?

Satan: Yes.

Sam: Can I go on the field today?

Satan: I'm sorry, no.

Lana: What year was it built?

Satan: Uh, 19

[mumble mumble]

Satan: .

Bud: Is there a bathroom here?

Satan: Around the corner to the left - watch your butt.

Martin: Is there a game today?

Satan: There are 14 games today, all 28 major league teams will be in action, none of it will be taking place in this building.

Mamie: Do you have an emery board?

Satan: Yes.

[he pulls an emery board out of his shirt pocket]

Chuck: Do you prefer couches to armchairs?

Satan: Depends on what I'm doing. If I'm lounging with a book, I might.

Mr. Zodsworth: [while still aboard the bus] Didn't you once have a lizard?

Satan: Yes, and his name was 'Bubbles.'

Bridget: Yeah, do the Cubs need a new ballgirl?

Satan: I don't care.

Lana: [shows her breasts] It's... Showtime!

Billy: [pulls up to diner] LANA! HEY, LANA!

Lana: Sorry, buster. We're closed.

[giggles]

Billy: It's all right, I just want a take out order.

Lana: You do, huh? Well, what would you like?

Billy: I would like Lana to go with nothing on her.

Lana: Oh, and who wants her?

Billy: The pride of the Unger Institute of Mental Health, who has just dumped his last bedpan and would like very much to party. Will you get your ass out here?

Lana: Hmm, Lana. Lana...

[leaning inside]

Lana: Hey Lana? Do you want Billy?

[pause]

Lana: You sure?

[giggles]

Lana: She says she wants you too, but you're gonna have to wait a few minutes 'till she's done inside.

[enters the restaurant]

Billy: YEEEOWHOOHOO!

[repeated line]

Lana: I fucking hate you

[Lana and Nazomi have knives in each others throats]

Lana: That feels nice.

Nozomi: We'll regret this.

Lana: What a relief.... Good luck.

Nozomi: ...You too.

[both pull their knives out]

Elara: Are you serious? Popcorn?

Lana: I thought you liked popcorn

Elara: Not when we're watching starving people in the poor! Popcorn, Lana?

Lana: You know how to cheat Mr Death? By making love. Cos every time you make love, you can make another life. And that makes Mr Death mad as hell.