Jasmine Quotes in Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Jasmine: Jane, it's your husband!

Jasmine: What? Your husband is the shooter? That's impossible.

Jane Smith: Really?

Jasmine: Aladin, I have to go...

Aladin: Oh... it's been wonderful meeting you and I hope we can do it again really soon...

Jasmine: Aladin... I have to go to the bathroom.

Creepy Guy: Hey, look at all those asses. Room three is chock full of asses!

Jasmine: Hello everyone.

Creepy Guy: Alright, Jasmine has got the best ass!

Cosmo Reif: I love you.

Jasmine: Cosmo, if you love me, leave me alone.

[last lines]

Jasmine: Okay, this can work.

Cosmo Reif: [puts his gun down] That was close.

Jasmine: Yeah.

Cosmo Reif: Champagne?

Samantha Abbott: Look, if you need any help, you know where to find me, *okay*?

Jasmine: [chuckles] Yeah, leaning over a trash can.

Samantha Abbott: Are you pregnant?

[Jasmine rolls her eyes]

Samantha Abbott: You're pregnant. How did this happen?

Jasmine: You the science teacher.

Jasmine: Anxiety, nightmares and a nervous breakdown, there's only so many traumas a person can withstand until they take to the streets and start screaming.

Jasmine: Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a Stoli martini with a twist of lemon?

Jasmine: Can you please not fight in here? I don't think I can take it. For some reason, my Xanax isn't kicking in.

[last lines]

Jasmine: [talking to herself] It's fraught with peril. They gossip, you know, they talk. I saw Danny. Yes, did I tell you? He's getting married. A weekend in Palm Beach means I can wear... what could I wear? I can wear the Dior dress I bought in Paris. Yes, my black dress. Well, Hal always used to surprise me with jewelry. Extravagant pieces. I think he used to buy them at auction. It's so obvious what you're doing. You think I don't know. French au pair.

[Blue Moon begins playing]

Jasmine: This was playing on the Vineyard. Blue Moon. I used to know the words. I knew the words. Now they're all a jumble.

Ginger: You think Al is a step up from Chili?

Jasmine: Anybody is a step up from Chili.

Jasmine: Tip big boys, tip big because you get good service and they count on tips.

Jasmine: But that's all history boys, I met someone, I'm a new person.

Dr. Flicker: Have you ever gotten high on nitrous oxide?

Jasmine: No.

Dr. Flicker: It would remove your inhibitions.

Jasmine: I don't really have any inhibitions.

Jasmine: [about her poetry] It's about the things inside you.

Nico: Things inside *you*.

Jasmine: [answers cell] What? This better be quick. I'm trying to die.

Jasmine: Burns heal but scars stay.

Jasmine: Can't believe you pulled the orphan card.