Jack Fuller Quotes in What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me.

Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.

Jack Fuller: ...We got robbed. All they took was the door.

Jack Fuller: Hey, don't get hit by a bus

[door slams behind Joy]

Jack Fuller: . Or do, whatever.

Joy McNally: The grown-ups have to go to work today... What are you going to do all day?

Jack Fuller: I don't know yet

[shoves cereal in mouth]

Joy McNally: Hmph.

Jack Fuller: I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.

Joy McNally: Words to live by, Yanni.

Jack Fuller: [accepting an award] I have to thank my wife Joy. She probably never told you all the story about how we met. It might come as a surprise to many of you that we didn't know each other for very long before we got hitched. What can I say - when you know, you know.

Joy McNally: That's just the topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said its movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really wanted was Jack's Sweaty ballsack flavor!

Jack Fuller: I'm just giving you what you want, baby.

Jack Fuller: If you stop betting, you never have to lose.

Joy McNally: I'd bet on you, Jack.

Jack Fuller: [standing outside the bathroom door] Can you hurry up?

Joy McNally: [from inside the bathroom, taking her time] Almost done!

[walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink]

Jack Fuller: Oh yeah, this is really happening. Oh, and it's your day for dishes.

Jack Fuller: How hard can it be?

Joy McNally: I know how hard it isn't.

Jack Fuller: [before entering their first marital counseling session] You ready for this?

Joy McNally: Pretend that you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you? Definitely.

Jack Fuller: Will to be married to me... again?

Joy McNally: [sighs] Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you... again.

[they kiss]

Joy McNally: I quit my job.

Jack Fuller: Good thing we have a ton of money!

Banger: So you're the lucky guy?

Jack Fuller: Yeah, Jack Fuller

[shakes Banger's hand]

Banger: Hi, i'm Richard Banger, you're in my seat!

Jack Fuller: Hold on a second, your name is Richard Banger?

Banger: Yeah!

Jack Fuller: So your name is Dick Banger! Dick Banger! Dick Banger!, you my friend have supplied us with jokes for the whole weekend.

Banger: And you must be Jack? Jack off! Jack off!, give it to me baby!

[Jack & Banger embrace each other]

Jack Fuller: And the old man is quick enough to think of a comeback

Jack Fuller: Jack off!, I actually like that

Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?

Hater: Community college?

Jack Fuller: It's like you're trying to come in first, but it's someone else's race.

Hater: Take him to court. It might be nice.

Jack Fuller: What am I going to do about money?

Hater: Wow, you're just realizing that, right now? Fascinating.

Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?

Hater: Community college?

Jack Fuller: I did take myself out of the game. If you stop betting, you never have to lose.