Gus Petch Quotes in Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

Gus Petch: You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you come see Gus Petch.

Gus Petch: You seem to be taking it pretty good. I've seen 'em come in here, weep and wail like Baptists at a funeral. Like they hired me to prove their husbands weren't fooling around.

Marylin Rexroth: Don't get me wrong, Mr...

Gus Petch: Petch. Gus Petch.

Marylin Rexroth: Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing, I am delighted that you found this material. This is going to be my passport to wealth, independence... and freedom.

Gus Petch: [chickles] Sounds like to me that you gonna nail his ass.

[repeated line]

Gus Petch: I'm gonna nail your ass!

[last lines]

Gus Petch: We gonna make you laugh, we gonna make you cry, but most of all, we gonna

[with audience]

Gus Petch: nail your ass!

Audience: [chanting] Nail your ass! Nail your ass! Nail your ass!

Gus Petch: I'm an ass nailer.

Marylin Rexroth: So I see.

Gus Petch: Gym four times a week. Hour and a half, plus stretching. Life circle. Life step. Life circuit. Gus Petch don't pussyfoot around.

Marylin Rexroth: I thought he'd outgrown trains.

Gus Petch: They never grow up, they just get tubby.

Gus Petch: ...and those Rottweilers were a menace, man!

Miles Massey: I told you she had dogs.

Gus Petch: You didn't tell me they had a hard on for Anus Africanus!

Gus Petch: What are you talking about? "Tell Tale Signs"? Look, I see a ass. I nail it. I don't sneak around sniffing the sheets. God damn it! I'm Gus Petch!