Darlene Quotes in Species II (1998)

Darlene: My God, it's you! Will you sign my Space Flakes box?

Darlene: I'd rather have fresh panties in Teaneck, New Jersey.

Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.

Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

Dewey Cox: [singing] You and I could go down... in history.

Darlene: [singing] That's what I'm praying to do with you.

Darlene: You know I suffer the same temptations you do. Sometimes when I'm lyin' in bed, I ache for a man's touch... and by a man's touch, I mean a penis in my vagina.

Darlene: Let's go drop acid with The Beatles.

[Albert's in the zipper bag for the first time]

Brad Stand: Hey, man. How's it going? You're an asshole.

Darlene: We will fucking destroy you, deary!

Mr. Nimieri: [holding up a still] Got Shaquille O'Neal. I like Shaq.

[Brad and Dawn ride up on jet skis and wave]

Darlene: Aw, gee, you're wonderful!

Jim Ryan: Just keep that in mind.

Darlene: If I get mad, I'm liable to throw ya a dirty look. And where I look dirty, no grass grows. Ever.

Darlene: Are you aware that you're yelling?

Eddie: My voice is raised in emphasis. It's a perfectly legitimate use of volume.

Darlene: I don't care.

Eddie: What do you mean, you don't care?

Darlene: It doesn't matter to me anymore.

Eddie: No, it matters, and you care. What you mean is it doesn't make any difference!

Darlene: UGH! I cannot stand this semantic insanity ANYMORE! I can't be that specific about my feelings! I can't!

[Candy has slept with Darlene's husband]

Darlene: And you call yourself my friend.

Candy: Damn right I do.

Bell Hop: Folks, you're really going to have to keep it down.

Darlene: GET THE FUCK OUT!

[first lines]

Darlene: You know, relationships can be a lot like a loaf of bread. At the beginning they're hot and fresh and you can always get a rise. But with time, if you don't knead them carefully, they grow old and stale. Now I know that life ain't no Easy Bake Oven. With the kids and my husband's job, it's almost as if we've forgotten to add the yeast. So I'm hoping the trip to Reno with our best friends, Candy & Roy, will be just what the doctor ordered.

Darlene: Damn it, this is the one thing I wanted to do on this trip. I told you I wanted to see it since 2nd grade when Miss Beechner told us about it. She said everyone thought God rested on the 7th day, but really He was working on his hobby carving the Grand Canyon.

Lonnie Earl III: Well, that's sweet, but uh, if you remember, Mrs. Beechner also kept her shit in a shoebox, remember that? So I don't know if that's the greatest authority in the world, ya know...

Lonnie Earl III: I ain't goin' to no shrink bitch Dr. Ruth woman that's gonna make us sit there and charge me an arm and a leg and a nut to say the shit that we can say to each each right here now.

Darlene: But she might not let you say something like you just said!

Lonnie Earl III: What'd I say?

Darlene: Well, if you can't hear yourself, then how are you gonna hear me, huh?

Candy: What do you mean you don't take bubble baths?

Darlene: 'Cuz my pooter infection stings worse than a swarm of bees.

Roy Kirkendall: Am I missing something here?

Darlene: Oh, for cryin' out loud, Roy, don't you see? This isn't Reno, this is Melrose Place!

Roy Kirkendall: Huh?

[last lines]

Darlene: [in their car lot TV commercial] Just remember, if you can't trust Lonnie Earl, you can trust Darlene!

[thumbs up and a big smile]

Olive: I'll leave you two love-birds alone so you can play Halloween together.

Darlene: Halloween's in November, silly.

Darlene: [to Max from her bar stool] Shut the door, you big dope. You're lettin' all the smoke out!