Crowley Quotes in Stay Tuned (1992)

[Spike is on a chandelier]

Crowley: Oh, incidentally, Spike, nice of you to drop in. Ha ha ha ha... Ah... that's funny.

[He hacks, with his axe, the rope that holds up the chandelier, and Spike falls]

Pierce: I get his parking space.

[Roy Knable was freed from the guillotine, and Crowley was (still) missing one of his arms and one of his legs]

Crowley: [to Helen and Roy Knable] We did it! We beat Spike! Oh, I would have given an arm and a leg to see this! In fact, I already did!

Crowley: [to Pierce] Trust me, Babe, you walked into the right place. Very cushy down here. I mean, you can cool your heels in here for the rest of eternity *if* you kiss the right ass. And let me tell ya', these lips ain't calloused for nothing.

Crowley: Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Could you fix that thing?

Crowley: Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to warmer megahertz. Gonna find a channel with sun, funny little drinks with those funny unbrellas, and maybe a dog track.

Crowley: [Crowley checks to see if the wolves took off] All clear.

[a wolf then jumps from the roop onto Crowley and a couple more stars biting him; Crowley yells and screams]

Crowley: [Screaming] I'm already dead! Save her!

Helen Knable: Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?

Roy Knable: Are you saying that that salesman was...

Crowley: Mr. Spike - Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.

Executioner: [reading the death sentence] By order of the court...

Crowley: Looks like Spike's gonna make his quota after all. I'm sorry, Mrs. Knable.

Executioner: ...I deliver the soul of the Marquis de Knable to it's RIGHTFUL OWNER!

Spike: Finally, he's mine!

Crowley: What's the night worth to you anyway, Lash, huh? You and me naked, horizontal and sweaty, huh?

[slurps]

Crowley: You're gonna love this.

[Unzips his pants]

Crowley: Did the tatooin' myself.

Lash: Isn't that a little... difficult, to read?

Crowley: Nothing a little "romance" couldn't enlarge.

Crowley: [to Diana about John] Whatever he's looking for he won't find it in Rio.