Pierce Quotes in Stay Tuned (1992)

[Spike is on a chandelier]

Crowley: Oh, incidentally, Spike, nice of you to drop in. Ha ha ha ha... Ah... that's funny.

[He hacks, with his axe, the rope that holds up the chandelier, and Spike falls]

Pierce: I get his parking space.

Mark: This is a lie Pierce.

Pierce: Shut up! It's not. It's the new truth.

Pierce: And, I just want to say now before we get into this, that you are being very critical of pretty much everything I'm coming up with right now, and that's making it a bit hard, I have to say. Just a bit. And I would really appreciate any kind of support, or indeed presence, that you could muster so I didn't feel like I was trudging in a void, like a fucking ghost, alone. Ok? Cheers.

Pierce: What are you going to do? A frap in the eye, or a fucking clarinet up the hole?

Pierce: Can you please just tell this woman what has happened in this flat, okay? And, I'm going to make tea. I'm going to make tea.

Mark: What we *do* have from today is a good story for your script.

Pierce: Who do you want to play you?

Mark: Me, I'm playing me.

Pierce: You're too old.

[last lines]

Pierce: You okay? I have to get back to this. I have to carry on with this...

Pierce: Mark, Mark when I went upstairs there were two people who were not alive in your flat, weren't there?

Mark: Yeah

Pierce: How many are there now?

Pierce: Is he dead because you did a murder?

Jack: Hello Pierce. Smart. Did you get my letter?

Pierce: Look, you're supposed to send this shit to me, okay? It's the law. So whenever I appeal whatever the fuck you're on about which I will...

Jack: Ah, really? I never had you down as a lawyer, Pierce, hm? A complete and utter waste of space, a boozer, somebody who likes the horses, but... never had you down as a lawyer, son.

Pierce: Y-you fucking register this... legal envelope otherwise it's... nix... felicitat! Okay? And... and you fucking send it to me. Here, here.

[grabs coins out of pocket and throws them at Jack]

Pierce: Put that towards it. Leave me alone.

Pierce: What the hell is that?

Mark: Clarinet stand.

Pierce: Hey earl, we need your trunk.

[Earl shakes his head]

Pierce: C'mon the guy's wrapped. There won't be any leakage.