Cabbie Quotes in Ghostbusters (2016)

Cabbie: I don't go to Chinatown, I don't drive wackos, and I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Cabbie: Brain? Brain, I brought somebody to see you.

Snake Plissken: [recognizes Brain] Harold Helman...

Brain: Snake?

Maggie: [curious] Harold?

Snake Plissken: How you been, Harold? It's been a long time.

Maggie: You never told me you knew Snake Plissken, Brain.

Cabbie: Isn't that great? Hey, Brain, I could use some gas if you could spare some.

Snake Plissken: I'm glad you remember me. Yeah, a man should remember his past. Kansas City, four years ago, you ran out on me... You left me sittin' there.

Brain: You were late.

Snake Plissken: [bitterly] We were buddies, Harold. You, me, and Fresno Bob. You know what they did to Bob, huh?

Snake Plissken: Where's the President?

Cabbie: The Duke got him. Everybody knows the Duke's got him. You don't have to put a gun to my head. I'll tell you.

Snake Plissken: Who's the Duke?

Cabbie: The Duke? The Duke of New York, A-Number-1, the Big Man, that's who!

Snake Plissken: I wanna meet this Duke.

Cabbie: You can't meet the Duke! Are you crazy? Nobody gets to meet the Duke. You meet him once and then you're dead!

Cabbie: [Snake runs into Cabbie's taxi cab while being chased by the Crazies] Bad neighborhood, Snake! You don't want to be walking from the Bowery to 42nd Street at night. I've been driving a cab here for 30 years and I'm telling you: you don't walk around here at night! Yes, sir! Those Crazies'll kill you and strip you in ten seconds flat! Usually I'm not down around here myself, but I wanted to catch that show. That stuff is like gold around here, you know.

[Cabbie casually lights a Molotov cocktail and throws it at approaching Crazies, which explodes in front of them, stopping them... and Cabbie speeds away with Snake in his taxi]

Cabbie: Hey! Cops!

Vendor: Huh? What?

Cabbie: Cops! And they ain't carryin' no picket signs!

Vendor: They going to kick somebody ass!

Cabbie: You travel light.

Edward Carnby: I carry enough baggage for the both of us.

Giles Redferne: [sternly] Lest you favor throttlings to the ears and face, bear west here.

Cabbie: [to himself] They wonder why we hate the Lakers.

Cabbie: [playing ethnic music with no words] Do you guys like this music?

Kar, Monk With No Name: ...Yea!

Cabbie: It's the bomb diggity.

[phone rings]

Cabbie: Excuse me I have to talk to my baby-mamma-to-be.

Burt Wilson: Give me 20 bucks for the cabbie, quick.

Sean Armstrong: Keep the change.

Cabbie: [sarcastically] Gee! A whole quarter.

Burt Wilson: A quarter? Gimme that! This ain't Christmas!

Cabbie: Everybody fasten your seat belts, I want to try something. I saw it in a cartoon once but I think I can make it work.

Cabbie: [impatiently, in folksy Hispanic accent] And the fare is right there on the meter, 29 dollar. Open your wallet and let the moths out.

Burt Munro: I'm doing it, I'm doing it. There you go, 29 dollars.

Cabbie: No, don't forget the tip.

Burt Munro: What?

Cabbie: [sarcastically] Yes, we tip in America. 10 percent.

Burt Munro: How much?

Cabbie: [with more emphasis] 10 percent.

Burt Munro: Oh yeah, there you go, 10 cents.

[hands over a coin and exits cab]

Mark David Chapman: Hey, listen. You know those ducks? The ones in Central Park.

Cabbie: Huh?

Mark David Chapman: The ducks. The ones that swim around that lake in Central Park. Do you know it?

Cabbie: You wanna go there?

Mark David Chapman: No, no.

[pauses]

Mark David Chapman: Well yeah, maybe I will. It's just in the winter, when the lake freezes, where do they go?

Cabbie: What are you saying?

Mark David Chapman: What happens to them? To the ducks. Where do they go? Where are they now?

Cabbie: You gotta be kidding me, right?

[mumbles to himself]

Cabbie: Alright buddy, so where do you want me to take you? For real.

Claire Foster: I love you Phil, but your plans are the worst!

Cabbie: Look here, you two need to get your married-people-stuff together when my life is not at stake, okay?

Cabbie: Let's get this thing movin'! What the hell is your problem?

Dr. Buddy Rydell: [shouting] Shut your pie hole, we're working here!

Cabbie: Let me see a badge!

Kirgo: [holds up gun] This is my badge!

Cabbie: Hey, man, what's so fuckin' funny?

Bellingham: Oh, I was just thinkin' of this guy I know. Couldn't distinguish a third dynasty sacred scroll from a piece of post-Alexandrian pictogram porn.

[Frank and Jane approach the first cab with an Arabic driver]

Frank Drebin: Does that radio work?

Cabbie: [replies in Arabic]

[they move to a second cab with a Jamaican driver]

Frank Drebin: Call Police Squad! Tell 'em Frank Drebin says...

Cabbie: [replies in Jamaican]

[they move to a third cab with an African driver]

Frank Drebin: Forget it.

[they immediately leave]

Cabbie: [British accent] I wonder what the devil he wanted!

Cabbie: Hey, move your shit fat girl.

Neil: I'm a guy, asshole.

[Pounds on the cab]

Neil: a fat guy.

Lou Peckinpaugh: No tip. There's been a death in the family.

Cabbie: I wish it was you!

Cabbie: Well, here, read it - or am I expecting too much?

Cabbie: To err is human, to forgive is humaner!

Cabbie: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over."

Cabbie: Ya know, the pills are made of monkey cum.

[last lines]

Cabbie: So there go, you have your happy ending. Now get out! Because nowhere on your ticket does it say that you can sleep here!

Cabbie: So what does this whole story mean? The only way to be happy is to know you won't be happy every single day. Lalalalalala. It sounds better in the original Croatian.

Cabbie: There's an old Romanian folksong my Grandma used to sing to me. It goes: Life is short and life is shit and soon it will be over!

Cabbie: Hey, make way for a real Human Being!

Cabbie: What the hell. All a nigger needs are loose shoes, tight pussies, and a warm place to shit.

Cabbie: [looking towards old, scruffy building] Posada San Marsol. One of our much very best hotels!