Tour Guide Quotes in Ghostbusters (2016)

Tour Guide: Now, I'm gonna tell you something a little spooky. The morning of October 25, 1894, Sir Aldridge awoke furious when his breakfast was not waiting for him. So, he called to his servants, but none of them responded. Why? Because, during the night, one by one they had each been stabbed to death in their sleep. It was later discovered that they were murdered by his eldest daughter, Gertrude Aldridge. Sir Aldridge once wrote in his diary, 'I know God makes no mistakes, but I believe he may have been drunk when he built Gertrude's personality.'

[first lines]

Tour Guide: The Aldridge Mansion is the only 19th century home in New York City preserved both inside and out. At the time of its construction, it was one of the most elegant homes in existence featuring every luxury including a face bidet and an anti-Irish security fence.

Tour Guide: In this lab we have fifteen genetically enhanced super spiders.

Mary Jane: There's fourteen. One's missing.

Tour Guide: To your left is Hercules' villa. Next stop, the Pecs and Flex gift shop, where you can buy the great hero's new 30-minute workout scroll, "Buns of Bronze."

Tour Guide: An Indigenous story... suggests the story of the Quinkins. An Indigenous tale not unlike that of the bunyip... Quinkins are tall, slender spirits from the Dreamtime. They're known as a sort of "prankster". They can be dreadful or just plain evil.

[first lines]

Tour guide: ...during which you will see all of the man-made and natural beauties, the most spectacular bay in the world. You'll pass beneath the famous Golden Gate Bridge, considered by most authorities to be one of the most striking structures ever erected by man. From the bay, you will thrill to the magnificent San Francisco skyline. Your cruise ship, the Harbor King, will circle Alcatraz, a maximum security prison containing the most dangerous criminals in America. It has been the home of such notorious figures as Al Capone, Baby Face Nelson, and Machine Gun Kelly.

Tour Guide: Who would've guessed that everyone in school was a professional dancer?

Tour Guide: We've got a fainter down in head-removal.

Fan Club Girl: Prince Charmont actually stepped on these tiles!

[a bunch of girls get down and start kissing the floor]

Tour Guide: Girls, stop tonguing the foyer!

Tour Guide: While there are now one hundred and ninety one nations represented, one hundred and forty more than there were in nineteen forty five, you'll only be required to learn the word "peace" in the six languages spoken on the General Assembly floor.

[first lines]

Tour Guide: And there, ladies and gentlemen, on the other side of the lake we have the famous Villa Diodati where Lord Byron, greatest living English poet, resides in exile. Romantic, scholar, duelist, best-selling author of Childe Harold, he was forced to leave his native land after many scandals including incest and adultery with Lady Caroline Lamb. "Mad, bad and dangerous to know" she called him.

[the guide squeezes a lady's hand and points]

Tour Guide: Bedroom - top right.