Brian Madison Quotes in Billy Madison (1995)

Brian Madison: You remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?

Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn't.

Brian Madison: Rock? "r-o-k"?

Billy Madison: Yea, so what's your point?

Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!

Billy Madison: Ohh! The "C" is silent.

Brian Madison: Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you are looking for?

Billy Madison: [the camera cuts to the street, where Billy and his friends find a piece of shit] Here's a nice piece of shit!

Brian Madison: You were brought up with every advantage, I bought you everything. Toys, cars, vacations, clothes...

Billy Madison: Actually I, uh, stole this shirt from Frank.

[Lifts his shirt to show "FRANK" written on the inside]

Brian Madison: Yea, well whatever, it's all my fault. I made a mistake.

[Looks up to see Billy lifting his shirt]

Brian Madison: What? Are you some damned moron?

Brian Madison: Billy, could you step in here a moment? I have big news.

Billy Madison: ERIC, IS PREGNANT?

Billy Madison: Give me one more chance, I'll prove I can take over. I'll do anything it takes. I'll go back to high school and take the exams again, and I'll get the diploma all by myself.

Brian Madison: Billy, Billy, it wasn't just high school.

Billy Madison: Okay, alright... Alright, you got it. First Grade through Twelfth Grade all over again. I'll do each grade in two weeks, take the test, re-graduate, prove to you I'm not an idiot, and then I get to take over Madison Hotels.

Brian Madison: That's some idea. You just think of that?

Billy Madison: Yeah, I did. It's pretty good, huh?

Eric: Brian, don't you think the future of Madison Hotels and its sixty one thousand employees is too important to gamble on a game like this?

Brian Madison: No.

[to Billy]

Brian Madison: You're on.

Veronica Vaughn: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your is Father, you get to do school all over again?

Brian Madison: Yes, I do.

Brian Madison: [as he turns around while sitting down] What a mess. First this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric's secretary is in a coma. Carl, has anybody been able to find out anything about this Max guy?

Carl: No, sir. He's vanished. Nobody has any idea where he is.

Eric: I believed in Billy all along, sir.

Billy Madison: [to Eric] Oh, cut the horseshit! I know you blackmailed Max.

Brian Madison: Take it easy, Billy. Things were going along great until this wrestling freak messed things up. Billy should get another shot at high school.

Eric: Hey, rules are rules. Billy was supposed to finish each grade within the two weeks or I get the company. He didn't finish ninth grade.

Carl: Eric, certainly there are extenuating circumstances.

Eric: Extenuating, "exschmenuating". We had a deal. A signed, written deal. Each grade, two weeks, or I get the company.

Brian Madison: Well, technically you're right, but...

Eric: [before Brian could continue talking, Eric interrupts him] Oh, shut up, Brian. I've had to listen to your jawing for too long. "Well, technically..." Blah, blah, blah! Just shut up! So, are you ready to hand the company over to me now?

Brian Madison: No.

Eric: Then, I'll see your ass in court.

Brian Madison: Good.

Eric: [to Brian, Billy and Carl] Nice talkin' to ya, shitheads.

[then Eric laughs and attemps to leave Brain's office]