3rd Grader Quotes in Billy Madison (1995)

3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl

Billy Madison: Kid can't even read

Ernie: Cut it out dude your gonna get us in trouble.

Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!

3rd Grader: How's high school Billy?

Billy Madison: High school is great. I mean I'm learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It's great.

3rd Grader: Gee, I can't wait till I get to "hike" school.

Billy Madison: [grabs 3rd grader's face and whispers] Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.

3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.

Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

3rd Grader: Really?

Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.

3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!

Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Billy Madison: OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.

Billy Madison: Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP.

3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.

Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That's assault brotha. You double dare me?

Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there's to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.

Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...

[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]

Billy Madison: Oh, I'm sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!

Veronica Vaughn: That's alright, Billy, why don't you go back and sit now?

[smiling]

Veronica Vaughn: I double dare you.

Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That... tit... accident...

Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.

Billy Madison: ...I... Yes...

[looking embarrassed now]