Veronica Vaughn Quotes in Billy Madison (1995)
Veronica Vaughn Quotes:
Billy Madison: Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP.
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That's assault brotha. You double dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there's to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I'm sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That's alright, Billy, why don't you go back and sit now?
Veronica Vaughn: I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That... tit... accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I... Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]
Veronica Vaughn: So it's um, the last day of third grade, and you have the teacher alone in your tent, what do you want to do?
Billy Madison: Well I can think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo...
Veronica Vaughn: Really?
Billy Madison: ...Live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
Billy Madison: [Veronica has taken Billy out of the classroom after making fun of the kid trying to read My sister Fanny] OW! Your tearing my ear off.
[Sits down on chair]
Veronica Vaughn: [scolding Billy in the hallway] Making fun of a little kid for trying to read. Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?
Billy Madison: I'm sorry I can't hear you. I've been physically abused in the ear.
Veronica Vaughn: You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks or I'm going to fail you. End of story.
[Goes back into classroom]
Billy Madison: I see your lips moving but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf. Oh Veronica Vaughn so hot want to touch the heiney.
[Howls like a wolf]
Billy Madison: Arrroooooooo!
Veronica Vaughn: [to Billy] No milk will ever be our milk.
Veronica Vaughn: Good morning, class.
Third Grade Class: Good morning, Miss Vaughan.
Veronica Vaughn: We're going to start today by reading together a short story entitled "My Sister Fanny".
[the class laughs]
Veronica Vaughn: Quiet. So let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page sixty nine.
Billy Madison: Sixty nine!
Veronica Vaughn: So what's it like, being back in school?
Billy Madison: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
Kyle: Hey, I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver.
[Dan throw's sandwhich at the bus driver]
Bus Driver: HEY!
Veronica Vaughn: Hey who threw that?
Bus Driver: I'll turn this damn bus around! That'll end your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh! Little shit!
[quivers lips up and down while face gets red]
Veronica Vaughn: [singing]
Veronica Vaughn: Don't I have a nice rack?
Veronica Vaughn: [singing] Don't I have a nice rack?
Billy Madison: Bunt. B-U-N-T, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?
Veronica Vaughn: "Rizzuto"?
[Billy ponders, then writes]
Veronica Vaughn: Rirruto?
Billy Madison: Those're Z's.
Veronica Vaughn: They look like R's to me.
Billy Madison: That's not fair! Rizzuto's not a word! He's a baseball player! You're cheating!
Veronica Vaughn: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your is Father, you get to do school all over again?
Brian Madison: Yes, I do.
Veronica Vaughn: [to Billy] You think he's horny? Come here.
Veronica Vaughn: You know some people have no will power, no ambition. They just drift through life like lumps of crap.
Jack: What is she talking about?
Veronica Vaughn: Norman invasion of England.
Billy Madison: 1066.
Veronica Vaughn: That is correct. The Magna Carta.
Billy Madison: 1215.
Veronica Vaughn: Yes. Spanish Armada.
Billy Madison: 1466. '67. 1469. 1514. 1981? 1986? Please do not do that. Come on, I swear... Just hang in there one second. Please, God, give me the answer!
Browse more character quotes from Billy Madison (1995)