Antoine Laconte Quotes in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)

Antoine Laconte: This is a 14th century Hungarian crossbow. It has killed a king and changed the history of Europe. You mess up anything in my apartment, I'll shove it up your ass.

Deuce Bigalow: Wow! What are those?

Antoine Laconte: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. They're worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.

Deuce Bigalow: I collect Canadian quarters. I've got about six of 'em.

Antoine Laconte: I'm a gigolo.

Deuce Bigalow: Giga-who?

Antoine Laconte: Women pay me to... give them pleasure.

Deuce Bigalow: How did you get that job?

Antoine Laconte: I just sort of fell into it.

Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!

Antoine Laconte: [message on machine] Hey Deuce, it's Antoine. I just realized I don't know you that well. To be honest, it's freaking me out a little. You just make sure you keep my apartment clean or you will die. Bye bye.

Antoine Laconte: Excuse me for a second, huh? Must make pee-pee.

Antoine Laconte: [In a baby voice] Hey fishy fishy fishy! Heyyy fishy fishy fishy fishy!

[taps glass]

Deuce Bigalow: Whoa! Chinese Tailbar Lionfish. He's a beaut! That's an $800 fish!

Antoine Laconte: Try a grand.

Deuce Bigalow: Then you overpaid.