Agent Quotes in London Has Fallen (2016)

Agent: How did this happen, Mike?

Mike Banning: They only have to get it right once.

Agent: [Quaid enters the hotel room, and the phone immediately rings; he picks it up] If you want to live, don't hang up.

Douglas Quaid: What do you want?

Agent: I'll explain later. You've been bugged and they're tracking you. They're gonna bash down your door in three minutes unless you do exactly as I say.

[Quaid searches himself, trying to find the bug]

Agent: Don't bother searching. The bug's in your skull.

Douglas Quaid: [looking himself in the mirror in disbelief] Who are you?

Agent: Never mind. Wet a towel and wrap it over your head. This will muffle the signal.

Douglas Quaid: How did you find me?

Agent: I advise you to hurry. This will buy you some time; they won't be able to pinpoint you for a while.

[Quaid goes into the bathroom, pulls out a towel and wets it, and puts it on his head]

Agent: Enough, you look beautiful.

[Quaid goes back to the phone]

Agent: Now, go to the window. Go!

[looks up to Quaid]

Agent: Do you see me down here?

[Quaid nods yes, and the man shows Quaid a package]

Agent: This is the suitcase you gave me.

Douglas Quaid: I gave you?

Agent: [puts the suitcase down] I'm gonna set it here. After I hang up, come and get it and keep moving.

Douglas Quaid: Wait, who are you?

Agent: We were buddies in the agency back on Mars. You told me that if you ever went missing, I was to come find you and deliver this suitcase to you. So, here I am, and goodbye.

Douglas Quaid: Wait! What was I doing on Mars?

[the agent hangs up]

Douglas Quaid: Shit!

Agent: [Richards is signing a contract given to him by the agent] here here here use my back, victim

Ben Richards: [Richards signs the contract on the agent's back and then stabs him with the pen, yelling out a painful scream] Don't forget to send me a copy

Agent: [Runs screaming in pain while trying to get the pen out of his back]

Agent: Mr. Richards, I'm your court-appointed theatrical agent.

[to an agent who laughs at him]

Frank the Pug: Got kids?

Agent: No.

Frank the Pug: Want 'em?

[bares his teeth, attacks the agent]

Xavier Fitch: A train came through here about the time she escaped.

Agent: Is she that fast?

Xavier Fitch: She is *that* fast.

Agent: Criminologist says there's no evidence of semen in the hot tub water.

Preston Lennox: Well, maybe she took it with.

Agent: Mr. Whyte, phone call for you from Washington. Urgent.

Willard Whyte: I'll catch it in the john.

Danny: I'm done with killing.

Agent: Yeah well, maybe killing ain't done with you.

Agent: Have you heard of the two percent? That's you. Davies, the SAS, all you lot. Mercenaries, hit men, heroes. You're all part of that two percent of men who are natural killers. That's why you'll never get out. You can't run away from who you are, Danny.

Danny: That's not who I am, that's what I've done. And I *can* do something else.

Agent: This is Special Agent John Kruger. He'll be handling your personal security.

Lee: My protection?

John: New identity, relocation, I'll take you through it step by step.

Lee: What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere!

John: You're in an extremely high risk situation, Miss Cullen. That should've been explained to you.

Chief Donaldson: [Running from Helicopter to van] How's it going?

Agent: They don't believe us!

Jerry Jarvis: Look the Engineer is probably anxious to bring the train in on Schedule.

Chief Donaldson: [Gets on radio] This is Chief Donaldson. Who's this?

Jerry Jarvis: This is Jerry Jarvis, I'm the assistant controller.

Chief Donaldson: Assistant... get me your boss.

Jerry Jarvis: Uh he's out to lunch, but I'm sure I can handle any problem you might have.

Chief Donaldson: It's not my problem, you've got a dead engineer and a runaway train that's going to hit Chicago in 15 Minutes. Now what are you going to do about it?

Jerry Jarvis: All right, I'll check with the signal towers. But um, you see that's impossible, if the engineer is dead, who's driving the train?

Young Michael: What is he wearing?

Agent: A Prince t-shirt and red sneakers.

Young Michael: *Prince* t-shirt?

Irv Manders: You men are tresspassin. Show me a warrant or get off my land.

Agent: We don't need a warrant.

Irv Manders: You do unless I woke up in Russia this morning!

Agent: It's all going down right now at The International House of Pancakes!

Agent: Maxie, I can get you a great act; it can work on a raft.

Max O'Hara: What?

Agent: Monkeys!

Max O'Hara: Aw, nix, cut it out, will ya'?

Agent: Do you have a history of emotional problems, Mr. Wigand?

Jeffrey Wigand: Yes. Yes, I do. I get extremely emotional when assholes put bullets in my mailbox!

Anna: Hi! I'd like a ticket to Cork, please.

Agent: Ferry's cancelled.

Anna: What is wrong with this country?

Agent: I usually blame the government, but this one's the weather.

Kit's Agent: This is a great script! Look, it's not Shakespeare, but it...

Kit: Hey, what did you just say?

Agent: I said, 'it's not Shakespeare'...

Kit: 'It's not Shake... ', 'It's not Shake... ' (to Freddy) Do you hear what he's doing?

Freddy: I know he's doing something, I just can't put my finger on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah... What's he doing?

Kit: Shakespeare, Freddy, Shakespeare!

Freddy: Shakespeare?

Kit: Shake a spear! Spearchucker! I'm a spearchucker now!

Agent: [on the phone] So, listen up Jane. I really busted my ass getting you this audition, so please, please don't fuck it up. I mean it seems like you don't give a shit about any of this. Do you? Do you even give a shit?

[long pause]

Jane F.: I give a shit.

Agent: I'm with the FBI!

Eugene: What do you want?

Agent: I want you to let go of my neck!