Wink Barnes Quotes in Moving Violations (1985)

Dana Cannon: [coming into classroom as if he were the instructor] All right people, settle down, take your seats, thank you...

[to kid wearing red shirt]

Dana Cannon: That means you too, Red.

[to black man with dredlocks]

Dana Cannon: Hey man, I've got all your albums, you're the greatest! All right, everybody stand up, please! Everybody up, c'mon!

[to Wink Barnes, who refuses]

Dana Cannon: You! In the back! You waiting for a special invitation?

Wink Barnes: [leaning back in his chair] You talkin' to me?

Dana Cannon: Yes, you too! Uppity-up-up-up!

[he rises]

Dana Cannon: You're gonna like this! C'mon! Now, breathe in...

[class members take deep breath in]

Dana Cannon: ... blow out

[they blow out]

Dana Cannon: . Breathe in, blow out. That's it. Now, shake it out

[all wiggle]

Dana Cannon: Good.

[Deputies Halik and Morris enter]

Dana Cannon: Now, if the women will all be so kind as to take off all their clothes, we can get things rolling.

Deputy Halik: Sit DOWN, Mr. Cannon!

Dana Cannon: Wait, wait. Could it be?

[to camera]

Dana Cannon: How big a coincidence is this?

[singing song]

Dana Cannon: Reunited, 'cause it feels so good!

[class collectively laughs]

Deputy Halik: We're your traffic school instructors!

Dana Cannon: Aren't you guys in the wrong room? Shouldn't you be next door at the pro-acid rain rally?

Deputy Virginia Morris: Sit down before I mold your face into an ashtray.

Dana Cannon: See, all you had to do was ask nicely.

Wink Barnes: Ok I got it! First we kill him, then we cut off his face!

Dana Cannon: Wink, you're a sick man. I thought you should know that.

Deputy Halik: Before you go home tonight, we'd like to show you a little film on traffic safety called, "Blood Flows Red on the Highway."

Wink Barnes: All right!

Jeff Roth: [looking very concerned] I crashed the Mercedes, my dad is going to kill me!

Wink Barnes: Hey man, I got an advice for you, go to your local video store, and rent "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". It will relax you.

[the class are all at Dana's place, drinking beer and sulking in sadness]

Terrence 'Doc' Williams: I'm in the car business and I can't drive.

Spencer Popadophalos: We're screwed. We got shafted.

Jeff Roth: My Dad's gonna kill me.

Wink Barnes: Not if we get to him first.

Scott Greeber: Let's face it. We're never gonna drive again.

Dana Cannon: Wait a minute here! I can't believe I'm hearing this. You think we're finished, washed up, history? Well, I've got news for ya: It's not over till it's over! Look at Michael Jackson. His hair caught on fire. Did he give up? No. He called the fire department and went on a Victory tour. All right. Now instead of pissing and moaning about how bad off we are, let's zero in on the guy who made sure we'd never drive again. Let's get the guy who screwed us. Let's get Halik!

Mrs. Loretta Houk: [drunk] Yeah, fuck him! Rip his nuts off!

Dana Cannon: All right, I think she's had enough to drink, but she's right. Let's get some beers. Let's go get him! Come on! Right now!

Wink Barnes: [trying a pickup line] So. What's your favorite chainsaw massacre?

Wink Barnes: Hi

Amy Hopkins: Hi

Wink Barnes: Did you see Friday The 13th?

Amy Hopkins: No, no, I haven't.

Wink Barnes: Well, what about the 13th... two, three, or four? What about five?

Amy Hopkins: Missed them all!

Wink Barnes: Well, that's too bad... they were great. Hey, hey... did you like it more when Clint Eastwood got his hand carved off, or when the seven hands came out of the scar face?

Amy Hopkins: Let's see... oh, there's my bus, I gotta go!

Wink Barnes: Nice talking to you.