Tracy Quotes in On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Tracy: You're hurting me.

James Bond: I thought that was the idea for tonight.

Tracy: Why do you persist in rescuing me, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: It's becoming quite a habit, isn't it, Contessa Teresa?

Tracy: Teresa was a Saint; I'm known as Tracy.

James Bond: Well, Tracy, next time play it safe and stand on 5.

Tracy: People who want to stay *alive* play it safe.

James Bond: Please, stay alive! At least for tonight.

Tracy: [Throws down her hotel room key and gets up to leave] Come later.

[Blofeld wants to share his life with Tracy]

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Now, if you're very, very nice to me. I could make you my Countess.

Tracy: But I'm already a Countess.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Whereas if you displease me, I can promise you a very *different* estate.

Tracy: You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? Suppose I were to kill you for a thrill.

James Bond: I can think of something more sociable to do.

Tracy: So, you know your perfumes. What else do you know?

James Bond: A little about women.

Tracy: Think about me - as a woman you just bought.

James Bond: Who needs to buy?

Tracy: The only thing you need know about me is that I pay my debts.

James Bond: 20,000 francs is a lot of money.

Tracy: MMMmmm.

[Kisses Bond]

James Bond: Maybe he didn't see me.

Tracy: I wouldn't go banco on that.

James Bond: Giving up bad habits, eh?

Tracy: Why are they looking for you?

James Bond: I suspect, they're trying to kill me.

James Bond: Her Majesty's Secret Service is still my job.

Tracy: But, there isn't anything you can do about your job at the moment, is there?

James Bond: No.

Tracy: Then why are you thinking about it now?

James Bond: I'm not. I'm thinking about us.

Tracy: Take me to the Alpine Room.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Are you unhappy here?

Tracy: I want to see the dawn.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: So - poetic a pleasure. What were all the world's charms to mighty Paris, when he found that dawn in the arms of his Helen?

Tracy: Thy dawn, O Master of the World, thy dawn; For thee the sunlight creeps across the lawn, For thee the ships are drawn down to the waves, For thee the markets throng with myriad slaves, For thee the hammer on the anvil rings, For thee the poet of beguilement sings.

Tracy: [after her car sustains a few rear end collisions] I hope my big end will stand up to this.

Tracy: [after escaping from the stock car track] We didn't even stop for the prize.

James Bond: [about to spend the night in a barn] Sorry about the accommodations, Contessa.

Tracy: We should have rung ahead and booked.

Tracy: Do you know you have an animal growing out of your pants?

Dooley: Thanks, hon. I also have a dog here.

McClaren: Mr. Crews, we were wondering if you wouldn't mind driving the truck cab to the impound yard

Tracy: Can we please... Can we... Can we dad

Jack Crews: I don't have a license

McClaren: The way I understand it from Agent Ford

[Ford gives Jack the license]

McClaren: you do

[McClaren hands him the keys]

Tracy: [referring to Al] Woody! Hey Woody, I gotta serve this here big turd?

Tracy: [after Sebastian honks car horn outside Mia's apartment] Is that gonna happen every time?

Mia: [smiling] I think so.

Tracy: What is that? Is that a script?

Mia: It's a play.

Alexis: A play? You better give us all roles!

Mia: Actually, it's a one-woman-show, so I can't...

Tracy: [after Sebastian honks car horn outside Mia's apartment] Is that gonna happen every time?

Mia: [smiling] I think so.

Mia: [Mia hums a few notes]

Tracy: [Tracy barges in] , Woah! Holy shit! You wanna open a window?

Mia: I was trying to give you an entrance.

Tracy: Thank you.

Tracy: Phill.

Phil: Tracy. I'm sorry.

Tracy: Where the hell are you?

Phil: /huh/ It happened again.

Tracy: Don't say that. Please.

Phil: No, this time we're really fucked up.

Tracy: Seriously, what's wrong with you three?

Phil: So much Trace, I don't even know where to begin."

Tracy: Oh God. How bad? Like no wedding bad?

Phil: Yeah.

Phil: It happened again, we lost Teddy.

Tracy: How bad is it, like, no wedding bad?

Phil: A bit worse than that.

[last lines]

Tracy: I'll be back in six months.

Isaac Davis: Six months are you kidding? Six months you're gonna go for?

Tracy: We've gone this long, well what's six months if we still love each other?

Isaac Davis: Hey, don't be so mature, okay? I mean, six months is a long time! Six months, you know you're gonna be, you'll be in, in, in, in the th - working in a theater there, you'll be with actors and directors, you kno w you're, you know, you go to rehearsal, and you, you hang out with those people, you have lunch a lot, and, and, before you even know it attachments form and, and, you know, I mean, you, you don't want to be get into that kind a, I mean, you, you'll change. You know, you'll be, you'll be, in six months you'll be a completely different person.

Tracy: Well, don't you want me to have that experience? I mean a while ago you made such a convincing case.

Isaac Davis: Ye, yeah of course I do, you know, but you - you know, you, I mean you, I, I just don't want - that thing about you that I like to change.

Tracy: I've got to make a plane.

Isaac Davis: C'mon, you don't - c'mon. You don't, you don't have to - go.

Tracy: Why couldn't you have brought this up last week? Six months isn't so long. Not everybody gets corrupted. You have to have a little faith in people.

Tracy: Let's fool around, it'll take your mind off it.

Isaac Davis: Hey, how many times a night can you, how, how often can you make love in an evening?

Tracy: Well, a lot.

Isaac Davis: Yeah! I can tell, a lot. That's, well, a lot is my favorite number.

Tracy: Let's fool around. Let's do it some strange way that you've always wanted to, but nobody would do with you.

Willie Conway: [They're in his childhood home, in bed] Wait, wait, wait. This is so weird.

Tracy: You've never had sex in here before?

Willie Conway: Not with another person.

Tracy: You look awful.

Willie Conway: I've been drunk for two weeks.

Tracy: I don't think you should take that job. Piano players are sexy, salesmen are uncles.

[during a "sex-ed" class in which the students are trying to put condoms on bananas, Tracy has just revealed to Josie that she wants to have sex for the first time. Josie is somewhat stunned, but tries to offer advice]

Josie Geller: You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together.

Tracy: But I'm not a penguin.

Sam: [has walked up next to them as Josie talked] It's an analogy.

[Josie turns to look at him and loses her grip on the condom which flies up and smacks him in the face]

Josie Geller: [to Tracy] Excuse me. I have to go die now.

[puts her head in her hands]

Freddy Krueger: Kung fu THIS, bitch.

Tracy: This is my dream, and I do what I want.

Freddy Krueger: Might be your dream, but it's my RULES!

Freddy Krueger: Daddy's waiting for you, little girl.

Tracy: Shut the fuck up man!

[kicks Freddy in the balls]

Tracy's Father: No honey for daddy?

[Morphs into Freddy Krueger]

Freddy Krueger: What's with kids today, huh? No respect.

Tracy: You can't scare me anymore.

Freddy Krueger: Oh, you better speak up. Must be my deaf ear.

[jingles Carlos' ear]

Tracy: [Carlos dreams that after Tracy asks him for a map, he retrieves it and begins to open it to locate their area but he continues to keep unfolding the map endlessly until it takes up most of the space inside the van and he sees a huge note scrawled in blood across one of the pages reading, "YOU'RE FUCKED"] Carlos! I asked you for the map.

Carlos: [wakes up] What? Yeah, well, the map says we're fucked!

Doc: You're getting ready to kill somebody.

Tracy: *Defend* myself.

Doc: It's your mind he'll go for. Your fear.

John Doe: [talking about Spencers dream with Freddy] I have to go in.

Tracy: What about Freddy?

John Doe: Freddy won't hurt me, I'm family.

Tracy: Ok, so how you gonna go in?

John Doe: [picks up broken table leg] You're gonna have to lay me out.

Tracy: [grabs it] What? Wha...

John Doe: C'mon just fucking lay me out!

Tracy: Wait a second, Doc told me a different way. All you gotta do...

John Doe: There's no time to talk! Just do it!

[slaps her]

Tracy: [Tracy immediately belts him and knocks him into a dream]

John Doe: [after orienting himself] Jesus Christ.

Tracy: [five seconds later, Tracy materializes in the dream] I told you I knew an easier way. Concentration. Meditation. That's what Doc always says.

[John just stares at her]

Tracy: This place is incredible.

Doc: Now he's gonna try and trick you just like he tricked Tracy. He'll try and use your eyes to fool you. You'll use these.

[shows her 3D glasses]

Maggie Burroughs: Get the hell outta here.

Doc: You want to live? These mean nothing here, but in a dream, they can be anything you want. He got inside your head. You get inside of his.

Maggie Burroughs: That's my job, isn't it?

Tracy: Be careful. He's good at finding out what hurts the most.

Doc: Exactly.

Tracy: That's why you gotta take me with you.

Maggie Burroughs: I can't. It's gotta be me and him. All right, Doc. Put me in.

Tracy's Father: Tracey girl, Daddy's home!

Tracy: Daddy... you're dead.

Tracy: No one remembers John or Carlos. It's like they never existed. I've been hearing strange shit. Like some of the kids are dreaming about Carlos. And they don't even remember him.

Doc: I remember him.

Tracy: Why?

Doc: Because I can control my dreams. I'm not fooled by this thing you saw.

Maggie Burroughs: Freddy.

Doc: Whatever he is, he's fucking with the line between dreams and reality. He didn't just kill Carlos and the others. He erased them.

Freddy Krueger: Go ahead... put it on. It's in your blood. That's it. Put it on. Feels good, doesn't it? Yeah... come on. Let your daddy show you how to use it.

[Maggie slips on the glove and stabs Freddy in his stomach]

Tracy: Maggie! Maggie!

[Tracy tosses her a stick of dynamite and Maggie shoves it into Freddy's chest. She kisses Freddy on the cheek]

Maggie Burroughs: Happy Father's Day.

[runs out of the room]

Freddy Krueger: [looks at the screen] Oh... Kids.

[Freddy explodes]

Childless Woman: [spots Tracy, Spencer and Carlos] Oh, what beautiful adorable children!

[leans close to Carlos]

Childless Woman: Would you like to come live with us? It's been so long since we've had children in the house. So long...

Childless Woman: [pinching all their cheeks and hugging them] This time I swear it'll be different. This time I'll be careful and I'll hide you better so that he'll never find you.

[pretends to pull Tracy's nose off]

Childless Woman: Lookie, I got your nose! Lookie!

Childless Man: Ethel!

[pulls her away]

Childless Woman: I want my children back!

Childless Man: You know they bring HIM!

Childless Man: [bell at the school starts to sound] Now see what you done did!

[the couple run off]

Tracy: Jesus.

Spencer: We're in Twin Peaks here.

Tracy: Definitely.

Tracy: [as they're looking through all the confiscated weapons for the final fight with Freddy, Tracy pulls out a big knife] Whoa! Look at this knife!

Doc: Hey, put that away.

Maggie Burroughs: That's too small.

[she pulls out a big club with spikes on the end of it]

Tracy: Guess so.

Tracy: I can't find Carlos.

Spencer: You see what's on this TV?

Brooke: I think I'm sick, and I don't know if my ailment has a name. It's just me sitting and staring at the internet or the television for long periods of time, interspersed by trying to not do that and then lying about what I've been doing. And then I'll get so excited about something that the excitement overwhelms me and I can't sleep or do anything and I just am in love with everything but can't figure out how to make myself work in the world.

Tracy: I think I have that too.

[Last lines]

Tracy: [narrating] Meadow had made rich fat women less fat, and rich stupid kids less stupid, and lame rich men less lame. And she wanted so badly to be on the other side... to be fat and stupid and lame and rich. But what she couldn't see most of all, more than she couldn't see that she was never going to get the restaurant, was that those people were *nothing* compared to her. They were matches to her bonfire. She was the last cowboy, all romance and failure. The world was changing, and her kind didn't have anywhere to go. Being a beacon of hope for lesser people... is a lonely business.

Tracy: It was clear that the thing that Meadow wanted most in the world, the thing that she wanted to define her, to give her a place to put her time and talents, her everything, the restaurant, it was clear that it will never happen. The most surprising thing was that Meadow was actually surprised by it. She could see the world with painful accuracy, but she couldn't see herself or her fate. And because I was in love with her I decided I couldn't see it either.

Tracy: Your tragedy is your armor.

Brooke: Please, somebody defend me against this monster.

Tracy: I'm so impressed by you and so worried for you at the same time.

Tracy: If I'm not in my body, where am I?

Brooke: What's going on at college?

Tracy: Everyone's really excited about the frozen yogurt machine in the student center.

Brooke: I watched my mother die.

Tracy: What?

Brooke: I was with my mother while she died.

Tracy: I don't know any dead people.

Brooke: That's cool about the frozen yogurt machine. Everyone I love dies.

Brooke, Tracy: Laughter

Tracy: Sometimes I really just think I'm smarter and better than everyone else. Not necessarily with math or science, or whether something is "East" or "West", but pretty much with everything else. And, if I could figure out my look, I'd be the most beautiful woman in the world, too.

Tony: Sometimes I think I'm a genius. And I wish I could just fast-forward my life to the part where everyone knows it.

Tracy: If I could only keep up my look, I'd be the most beautiful woman in the world.

Brooke: I never went to college. I'm an autodidact. Do you know what that means?

Tracy: Yes

Brooke: That word is one of the things that I self-taught myself.

Tracy: I went through a breakup too.

Tracy: You want other people to do the things you can't so you can blame them.

Tony: *You used to be so nice.*

Tracy: I'm the same. I'm just the same in another direction now.

Tracy: [Kicking Travis to the ground] You are so low!

Tracy: You know what, I totally put myself out there doing that, and that was not an easy thing to do, and if you're the kind of man that can't support a woman's ambition, then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.

Tracy: I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.

Dexter: Oh, come on, that's not even good conversation, Tracy.

Mike: She's a lovely girl.

Tracy: Yes, isn't she? Ah, but we're afraid she has a homicidal streak.

Mrs. Lord: Tracy, look at the way she does her hair.

Tracy: Oh, yes, it's lovely. Is it lacquered?

Tracy: Do you like my dress?

Uncle Willie: Oh yes, it's quite beautiful.

Tracy: It's awfully heavy.

Tracy: Look everybody, it's Uncle Willy! Wasn't it nice of Uncle Willy to surprise us?

Tracy: My, she was yar.

Mike: Mr Kittredge, it may interest you to know that our so-called affair consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and the memory of which I wouldn't part with for anything. After which I returned here, carried her to her room, deposited her on her bed and promptly returned here which you will no doubt remember.

George Kittredge: That's all?

Mike: That's all.

Tracy: Why? Was I so cold? So forbidding?

Mike: Not at all. On the contrary but you were somewhat the worse or the better for the wine and there are rules about such things.

Mrs. Lord: George told us what happened. Your father will make an announcement.

Tracy: Oh thank you. No, no, I got myself into this, I'll get myself out. Ooh.

Dexter: Go. Go.

Tracy: [Opens the door to address the guests] Good morning

[to the organist]

Tracy: Will you stop that racket? Good morning. I'm afraid there's been a slight hitch. My fiancé that was... that is... he's decided we should call it a day and I quite agree with him and... oh Dexter help me please?

Dexter: Say "two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland"

Tracy: Two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland.

Dexter: "But I hope to make it up to you now by going through with it as originally planned."

Tracy: But I hope to make it up to you now by...

[looks at Dexter, he nods and smiles]

Tracy: by going through with it as originally and most beautifully planned.

Dexter: "So if you'll just keep your seats a moment"

Tracy: So if you'll just keep your lovely seats a moment

Dexter: "That's all"

Tracy: That's all

[shuts the door]

Tracy: . Oh Dexter, are you sure?

Dexter: No, but I'll risk it if you will.

Tracy: You're not just doing it to save my face?

Dexter: It's such a sweet old face.

Tracy: Oh, it got dark all of a sudden.

Tracy: One thing's for sure. You're well rid of me.

Dexter: Oh, no, no-one can say that but me.

Mike: We'll go over the wall. Whose car should we use?

Tracy: Any one.

Mike: How about that blue one?

Tracy: Oh no, that's mine!

Mike: Hands up!

Tracy: Oh it's you! Go away.

Mike: Where are you going?

Tracy: Some place and dance.

Mike: But they're dancing in there.

Tracy: I know but George is frowning at me and I can't dance when anyone frowns at me.

Dexter: Hey, skipper, when do we eat?

Tracy: Now.

Dexter: Boy, you've been at it long enough.

Tracy: It's bride's prerogative.

Dexter: It's just I don't like you out of my sight for so long.

Tracy: That's nice.

Tracy: I'm truly sorry to have been a disappointment to you.

Seth Lord: I've never said that and I never will.

Tracy: I would like to talk to you privately.

Dexter: Well now, I consider that right neighborly.

Tracy: There are fairies at the bottom of my garden all ringing little bells.

Tracy: Isn't it a fine day. Is everybody fine? That's fine.

Tracy: Are you learning anything about the idle rich?

Mike: Yeah, they drive too fast. Where are we headed anyway?

Tracy: The graveyard.

Mike: I'm not ready.

Tracy: I thought I'd show you the playground of the rich, the graveyard of the wealthy.

Mike: Well, for that I'm ready.

Tracy: Oh, I think men are wonderful.

Liz Imbrie: The little dears.

Tracy: Help me off the pedestal.

Seth Lord: Watch out for that first step, it's quite a tumble.

Tracy: Mother, don't you think Caroline is old enough to be sent to a good military school?

Caroline Lord: Tracy, it's your song! Dexter must be home.

Tracy: Mother, has Dexter come back?

Mrs. Lord: Well, we knew he was giving his house over to the jazz festival, maybe he has come back.

Tracy: He's back. No-one else would play that song. That cheap, vulgar, dreadful song.

Caroline Lord: That beautiful, wonderful song he wrote especially for her? That's gratitude.

Tracy: Caroline Lord, if you put this picture in my wedding presents once more I am going to personally chain you to your bed.

Mike: Oh Tracy, you're tremendous.

Tracy: It's funny because I feel very small. Put me in your pocket, Mike.

Tracy: You know, I never went to Europe. Never. Not once. I never even went to Montreal, which I hear is very European. I never went scuba diving. I never went to the ballet. I've never been in love. I've never even watched The Wire.

Glen: All of those things are overrated. Except for The Wire. That's really good. Last season's not very good, but...

Tracy: Is me mazzie smudged, is me hair up straight ?

Elaine: Tracy - you put a whole can of lacquer on that - it'd take a monsoon to shift that lot.

Elaine: You've been to the moon. You've been there twice, haven't you, Tracy? You just don't see any good in people, do you?

Tracy: Not in communist Russians, I don't.

Mona: [a phone goes off. The girls all check theirs, but Mona finds it's hers] It's me, ya'll!

[She answers it]

Mona: Howdy.

Walter Buckell: [Over the phone] The Big O will happen to you whenever you hear the word "in", and will stop whenever you hear the word "out".

Tracy: Who was it?

Mona: I dunno, prank call, wrong number, who cares.

Tracy: Don't frown Eraserhead.

Duke, Jay: [in a cab] Take off, driver.

[look at each other]

Duke: This cab is taken!

Tracy: Yes it is, we're taking it.

Tracy: After Honolulu, we go to Australia, and then 14 hours later we're in Hong Kong with Mother.

Jay: It's a great plan, Tracy! If she can't come to us for our vacation then we'll go to her!

Tracy: Yes, but there's only one little problem. How're we going to get the $1200 for two tickets?

Debbie Vickers: Oh, god. Do I look alright?

Tracy: Rootable.

Tracy: Ask God how many shots of bourbon he had before he cut me open.

Tracy: What do you want?

Andy Safian: What does everyone want? I want the Red Sox to win the World Series.

Sonny Jim: I vote we get a 45 automatic and blow the head gook back to Singapore.

Hando: Saigon, stupid.

Sonny Jim: I fired a 45 at a range once. It was fine.

Bubs: You never fired a 45, don't shit me Sonny.

Sonny Jim: What would you know, baby bubs? An anti-static gun is big news for you.

Hando: We can get any sort of gun we want from Billy the Reverend. All we need is the cash, and we needed up front.

Megan: If you lot are going to shoot people...

Tracy: ...we're going.

Hando: Then go. We don't want any fuckin' passengers from here on in. So fuck off.

Tracy: Sonny do you want to come with us?

Sonny Jim: No. I want to kill gooks, gooks, gooks.

Tracy: We could go fruit pickin'.

Sonny Jim: I hate the fuckin' country, don't I.

Megan: All right then... you'll all end up fucked!

Hando: You'll end up fucked if you don't piss off.

[Hando jumps up, and Megan and Tracy run off]

John Clifford: You recognize this man?

[shows her Curt Duncan's photo]

Tracy: Why?

John Clifford: He's escaped from the insane asylum. 7 years ago he murdered two children, broke into the house and found them asleep in bed. There was a little boy, 4 and a half, and his little 3 year old sister. After the coroner's investigation, their bodies were taken to the mortuary where the undertaker took one look at them and said their bodies couldn't be reconstructed for the burial without 6 days of steady work. Then he asked what had been the murder weapon because looking at the mess in front of him, he couldn't imagine what had been used. The coroner told him there had been no weapon, just his hands.

Tracy: [stands up] He's been here.

John Clifford: Think he'll try to see you again?

Tracy: I don't know. He said he had no place to go.

John Clifford: Well let's play it safe. Let's assume he will. Will you work with me?

Lieutenant Dodd: Hang in there, Tracy.

Tracy: Yeah, I've been doing that for 35 years.

Tracy: Detectives in glass houses shouldn't wave clues.

Tracy: If you're not using the phone, may I? I - I want to get on to Scotland Yard.

Tracy: I want the best cigar in the shop.

Mr. White: Certainly, sir! Perhaps you'd like the telephone while I get it down?

Tracy: No, thanks. That can wait.

Mr. White: Very well, sir. What sort of a cigar would you like, sir? I've got - I've got Henry Clay or a Corona Corona?

Tracy: Corona.

Mr. White: Certainly, sir.

Tracy: [Looking inside an open box of Corona Corona cigars] Well, they look good.

Mr. White: They ought to. I've had 'em for years.

Tracy: Perhaps its rather fortunate that your little secret only came into the hands of a man like me. Do you know, there are some men who would make money out of a thing like that? What a chance for blackmail. Oh, oh, that's awful. I couldn't do a thing like that.

Tracy: Look here, Frank, why can't we both of us chuck the whole thing now? I've got nothing against you. You've got nothing against me. Except, of course, I had some cash from you, but, well, I wasn't serious!

Tracy: Well, can't you see that she wants to chuck it up too? And so do I, now.

Tracy: Look, here, Miss, you tell him! Tell him that he's playing with fire. And we shall all of us burn our fingers.

Tracy: Having an affair is nothing like taking a pottery class.

Sally: Could be.

Tracy: No. It would start out like that, and then, um, something would happen. Someone, uh, finds out, or someone falls in love, and it ends disastrously. It always ends disastrously.

Tracy: Do you think she's had work?

Sally: Why would she have had work? She still looks gorgeous.

Tracy: Well, that's when they're having it now, before it all turns to shit.

Tracy: [while Connie and Paul are having sex in the restroom] She's not like that. She's really nice.

Sally: Of course she is. That only makes it worse. She's nice and sweet and her ass is exactly where it was when she was in college.

Melanie: [to Tracy] How do you explain $860 in your purse?

Tracy: What do you expect me to say, Mom? We jacked it, okay? It's not like your broke ass ever has any money to give me. Mom, when Brady went to the halfway house, what happened to our phone, our cable? You didn't even know how to pay the bills. It's no wonder Dad didn't want to be with you! You didn't even finish high school!

Melanie: We don't have extra stuff, but we're doing okay. You know we're doing okay. You don't have to steal.

Tracy: Mom, you knew what was going on! You're not that dumb, are you?

Melanie: [shouts] I didn't know it went that far!

Tracy: All of the sudden Medina has a ghetto booty?

Evie: I think she stuffs.

Astrid: That slut ain't got shit compared to these double cheeseburgers.

[shakes her butt]

Medina: Shake it, don't break it, bitch.

Astird: Fuck her.

Tracy: Mothers, lock up your sons!

[first lines]

Tracy: Hit me. I'm serious, I can't feel anything, hit me! Again, do it harder! I can't feel anything, this is so awesome!

Tracy: Mom, I have to go to the bathroom now!

Melanie: Can't you hold it a minute?

Tracy: That's how you get a bladder infection, you child abuser.

Melanie: That's dramatic.

Brooke: We'll be moving up to Ojai so you won't be seeing Evie again. Ever. You're really cruel, Tracy. I mean, I'm sure you can be a sweet kid when you want to, but right now, you're a really bad influence. I mean, you cheat, you lie, you steal...

Tracy: [shouting in disbelief] Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? Where do you think I learned all this shit from?

[walks off into the kitchen]

Melanie: Tracy was playing Barbies before she met Evie.

[Melanie, Evie and Brooke follow Tracy into the kitchen]

Brooke: Did she teach you how to beat the crap out of her as well? I've seen the bruises.

Tracy: What the hell did you tell her, Evie?

Brooke: [turns to Evie] Come here. What about this?

[shows the scrape by Evie's hairline that Tracy accidentally made while the two girls were play-fighting]

Tracy: [shouts] What the fuck? We were just goofing.

Melanie: Tracy didn't hit her.

Evie: [starting to cry] Yes, she did.

Tracy: I don't believe this! She hit me too!

Brooke: [grabs Tracy's arm and struggles with her to pull back her sleeve] And look at this, Mel.

Tracy: Don't you dare! No! Please!

Melanie: Get your hands off her.

[Tracy starts to cry as the cuts on her arm are revealed when Brooke pulls down her sleeve]

Brooke: She cuts.

[Melanie looks stunned and horrified at the cuts on Tracy's arm]

Tracy: [crying] It's none of your business, you fucking Frankenstein!

Brooke: Oh, no, this child is my business, you little cunt.

Melanie: That's enough. You need to get out.

Brooke: [to Evie] Honey, come on.

[she and Evie slowly start to leave the house]

Melanie: [yelling] Get out!

Evie: [crying] Who would want to be in this shit hole anyway? It fucking stinks in here, Mel!

[last lines]

Tracy: Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Mason: [to Teen] You stupid fucker!

[laughs and looks ahead to a girl]

Mason: Oh, sweetie, back that ass up.

Teen: [walks up to the girl] I'd like to see how that thong looks on my bedroom floor.

Tracy: [turns around] Too bad you'll never know.

Teen: [while walking up to the girl] I'd like to see that thong on my bedroom floor.

Mason: Tracy?

Tracy: [glances over and sees Mason; Mason looks down and sees Tracy's bellybutton ring] Aw, shit. Fuck it.

[starts to walk away]

Teen: [grabs the Cokes and stops her] Hey Tracy. Here's your Cokes.

Teen: Didn't have to with your fine ass.

Tracy: Fuck you.

[walks off]

Tracy: He was crippled, but only his body was cracked. It's not simple, nor is it an easy matter to explain. "Let's just leave it at that," she says and closes the holy book of lies. She covers her eyes, denying to herself what she thought happened.

Tracy: Want me to model my new thong? It's perfect for pooping on the go.

Tracy: [while lying in the afterglow after having sex with Javi] We are so perfect for each other. You know, if everybody married someone from a different race, then in one generation, there would be no prejudice.

Evie: [lies next to Tracy] So you had a good time?

Tracy: [Dreamily] Yeah, but it tasted kinda nasty.

Evie: [laughs] What? We didn't go over that one!

Tracy: [while outside Mason's open window] Hampton is my baby! He's my baby.

Evie: [while walking in front of the window] Hey, Mason. Move your G-string down South.

[pulls her thong over her shorts while shaking her butt]

Tracy: Dude, no! That is so gross. That's my brother. Oh, my God!

Evie: Maybe I'll marry into the family.

Melanie: [to Tracy] What the hell is that?

[Tracy doesn't answer her]

Melanie: I'm talking to you!

Tracy: [whispers] It's a belly-button ring.

Melanie: Speak up. I can't hear you.

Tracy: It's a belly button ring! How else can I say it? I don't speak no other languages! Oh. And do you want to know what that is?

[sticks her tongue out]

Tracy: That is a tongue ring.

Tracy: [to Brooke] So you're a model?

Evie: She's a model-slash-actress.

Brooke: Mmm, slash-bartender who's about to be late for work.

Tracy: Geez, Mom, why don't you open a hotel? You could get paid for all this shit.

Tracy: [speaking in gibberish] Why does my tongue hurt?

Evie: Maybe because you gave head.

Tracy: [to Mason] Should we talk about how you get stoned every night with Rafa?

Mason: She knows I smoke pot, Tracy. Look at your pupils. You're so fucking busted.

Tracy: [Tracey walks into the bathroom in a huff and Astrid looks over] So, um, you just wanna go to the boardwalk and sell some shit?

Astrid: [while putting stickers on her face in the mirror] I can't. Um, I'm late for my biology actually and we're doing a play and I'm a mermaid.

Tracy: [raises her eyebrows and walks out of bathroom]

Astrid: [stares into the mirror and keeps applying her makeup]

Evie: [to Tracy] You don't know how to kiss, do you?

Tracy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, I do. Me and Noel practiced with "Cruel Intentions" like 50 times.

Evie: Right

Tracy: So, you want me to prove it, lesbo?

Evie: Hell, no!

[Tracy bends down and kisses Evie]

Evie: I barely even felt that.

Tracy: Well, see if you fucking feel this one, then!

[pushes Evie on the floor and kisses her more passionately]

Evie: Well, okay!

Tracy: [when Tracy and Evie walk out in two matching cut-up halter tops] Mom, Mom! Can you guys say "hot"?

Tracy: That was Mason's favorite shirt.

[Tracy is on the phone in a tattoo shop]

Tracy: Mom, do you know the difference between point-slope form and slope-intercept form? See, that's why I need to be here at the library. They have tutors.

Tracy: Hey, Mason. Just out of curiosity, who do you think is the hottest girl in school?

Mason: I guess, um, Evie Zamora.

Tracy: Guess who I hung out with today.

Mason: Bull. Melrose Avenue.

Tracy: Melrose Avenue.

[Mason looks at her in awe]

Tracy: What? God, it's that hard to believe?

Mason: Go ahead. Hit me, Tracy. You'll go to jail, you fucking slut!

Tracy: Mom, Mason just called me a slut!

Melanie: [to Tracy] Have you been drinking?

Tracy: No!

Mason: She's always fucking drinking!

Brady: Oh, like you never have!

Melanie: Hey, hey, hey. Come on. You guys!

Brady: Hey, Kayla. What's going on?

[Kayla starts crying]

Tracy: So, Brady, how was the halfway house?

Brady: Same as the last one, Tracy.

Tracy: [about the pants that Melanie made for her] The fur was thicker at Red Balls.

Evie: [while huffing computer duster] I hear this little wah-wah-wah inside my head...

Tracy: That's your brain cells popping!

Sara: You know Calabasas is full of fucking J.A.P.s and daddy's girls. I didn't exactly have the debutante thing goin' on. One day I saw her at McDonalds with the nose job crew. That was before I knew my place, so I sat down. My friend rolls her eyes and she says: 'What, you actually think you're good looking? 'Cause you walk around like you're all hot and you're really not.' Then the whole table started to laugh. And I cried for about three days and then I fuckin' resurrect, you know? I just realized that everyone I knew was fucking full of shit. And that's when I started doing whatever the fuck I wanted and not giving a flying fuck what people thought. So I don't really have any friends. I don't need any.

Tracy: We're friends.

Sara: [softly] Yeah.

Tracy: What did you do for girls up here.

Jack McCann: I guess we did without. Unlike some people I know.

Tracy: Suppose I'd been here. Would you have given me a second glance?

Jack McCann: No. My darling Tracy, I never would have taken my eyes off you.

Tracy: You know, yesterday, last night, was the most extraordinary day of my life. There will never be another day or night like it. Ever. I've never been so happy. So miserable.

Tracy: [testifying] I loved my father before I loved you.

Claude Maillot Van Horn: Was he more violent than me?

Tracy: Stop asking me about violence!

Claude Maillot Van Horn: Your father was savagely murdered, beaten, his head cut off. I'm on trial for my life. If I'm found guilty they'll hang me by the neck. This isn't a time or place to be shy about violence.

Tracy: I'm talking about what happened to Jack McCann. On that day, in the winder of 1925, when he first found the gold. He'd been looking for 15 years. Day after day, week after week, year after year. And then one day he found it. How could he ever recapture that moment of triumph? He couldn't share the gold. That was his and his alone. How he realized that his joy at having done what he set out to do, all alone, was gone! Poor Jack. He was like a man struck by lightening. One moment of rapture, followed by decades of despair. Jack McCann wasn't murdered three weeks ago in his bedroom at Eureka. He died in 1925. What happened that night was just his physical end. He needed someone to finish him off. And that night he found him, just as he had found the gold.

Tracy: The men love me, the women love me, the children love me... You're just jealous Brian 'cause no one loves you.

Tracy: Can't you stop this? Can't you call it off?

Ed Harley: Nothin' can call it off...

[lights flamethrower]

Ed Harley: ...but I'm gonna send it back to whatever the Hell it come from!

Kim: [talking about Joel and Chris looking for Steve] They should be okay, right? I mean, they took the guns and everything.

Maggie: God is the only thing that can stop what's out there, Kim.

Tracy: [walks over to the drawer and pulls out a large kitchen knife] Just in case God doesn't show.

Tracy: When we get out of here, Joel's going to be carrying his balls home in a knapsack.

Chris: Remind me never to piss you off, Tracy.

Tracy: What the hell are you doing?

Ellison Oswalt: We have to leave here.

Tracy: What's the matter? What's happened?

Ellison Oswalt: You were right. I made a mistake, and we should have never come to this house. We have to leave now!

Tracy: You are freaking me out here!

Ellison Oswalt: Get the kids! Pack the car! We have to leave! GO!

Tracy: Sheriff's here.

Ellison Oswalt: Already?

Tracy: Play nice this time.

Ellison Oswalt: I'm always nice.

Tracy: I'm not kidding. I'm tired of driving five miles under the speed limit only to get ticketed anyway. Be nice.

Ellison Oswalt: We only gave you one rule, it was a really big deal to let you paint on your wall, what was that rule?

Ashley: Paint only goes in the bedroom.

Ellison Oswalt: So what makes you think you can paint out here?

Ashley: I wanted to paint her picture, but she didn't want me painting in there because that used to be her brother's room.

[Ellison is shocked to see that Ashley has painted Stephanie on the wall]

Tracy: Who are you talking about, Ashley?

Ashley: Stephanie!

Tracy: ...Who's Stephanie...?

Ashley: She used to live here... she's the one Daddy's writing his book about...

Tracy: ...Ashley, go to your room and shut the door!

Trevor: Please don't talk about the dryer.

Tracy: Are we talking about the time we found Trevor trying to pee in the dryer?

Trevor: God mum, no!

Tracy: I'm sorry honey, I thought that's what you were talking about.

Ashley: Did Trevor try to pee in the dryer again?

Tracy: Then why did you come in here white as a ghost?

Ellison Oswalt: Because I saw a dog!

Tracy: A dog?

Ellison Oswalt: A very big dog, like Cujo big, I mean, I'd never seen him before! He's like...

Tracy: Did you get rid of it?

Ellison Oswalt: Yeah, it's gone.

Ellison Oswalt: Tracy, nobody died here! It's not like we're sleeping where somebody was killed or they had to wipe blood off the walls for the open house!

Tracy: So you're saying it didn't happen here?

Ellison Oswalt: No!... uh, it happened in the backyard...

Tracy: Oh! Oh, that is so fucked up! God, you think that makes any difference?

Ellison Oswalt: It does!

Tracy: No, Ellison, it doesn't! You have done some crazy shit in the past, but this definitely takes the cake! My God. what on earth possessed you to move here?

[first lines]

Tracy: Just one box?

Ellison Oswalt: It's for my office. It's fragile.

Tracy: Sissy.

Tracy: Kentucky Blood was ten years ago.

Ellison Oswalt: And?

Tracy: And... what if that was your 15 minutes?

Ellison Oswalt: Okay, so what if it was?

Tracy: If it was, you can't just spend the rest of your life chasing after it. If you miss out on these years with the kids, you won't get them back.

Tracy: It's one thing to hear about something but it's another thing to see it.

Tracy: I think I'll do some grocery shopping. I figured I'd get the lay of the land - have a nice morning with your murder victims!

Tracy: [Angrily from the distance] That's the problem - you don't think! You want to be treated like an adult but you don't act like one!

Trevor: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, 'cuz you and Dad do a lot of thinking together! If you did, we wouldn't be here!

[Ellison steps out of his office to see what the argument is about]

Tracy: Go to your room Trevor, and I don't wanna see you again 'till dinner!

Ellison Oswalt: Hey hey hey! What's the problem?

Tracy: Your son's been acting out again! He drew a picture with a permanent marker on the classroom whiteboard!

[to Trevor]

Tracy: tell him what you drew!

Trevor: [reluctantly muttering] ... I drew a tree...

Tracy: With four people HANGING from it! Go to your room Trevor, I need to speak with your father.

Trevor: Fine!

[slams the door]

Tracy: [Sounding more worried and embarrassed than angry] First day of school Ellison, and your son's already drawing the grisly details of your mystery? Your book's about a family that was HUNG? Christ, Ellison!

Ellison Oswalt: And that's all he drew...?

Tracy: That's not ENOUGH?

Ellison Oswalt: When bad things happen to good people they still need to have their stories told, they deserve that much!

Tracy: [annoyed and sarcastic] You're a real man of the PEOPLE!

Tracy: Why was he pointing at the house? Ellison, we didn't move in a few houses down from a crime scene again. did we?

Ellison Oswalt: Tracy...

Tracy: No, just don't say anything. If we did, I don't wanna know about it.

Ellison Oswalt: We didn't.

Tracy: You promise?

Ellison Oswalt: ...I promise.

Tracy: Your legacy? That's Ashley and Trevor! Your KIDS are your legacy!

Ellison Oswalt: [to Ashley and Trevor] Well, it's nice to see that you two are so *enthusiastic* about our adventure!

[Ashley begins throwing er food at Trevor and Trevor does the same]

Tracy: Stop it!

Ellison Oswalt: Hey, stop it - be the bigger person.

Tracy: What you can't do, is save everyone.

Jesse Ryan: Doesn't it bother you that some girl offed herself?

Tracy: No. It's not like she was anybody.

Jesse Ryan: What?

Tracy: I mean, I didn't know her.

Tracy: You are soooooo male!

Tracy: Did you hear those screams last night?

Carol Adams: I was sleeping off a pill Murdoch gave me for my nerves, I didn't hear a thing. What screams?

Tracy: Oh, just screams. We've heard 'em before. Every time we do, we find out the next day that somebody died

Carol Adams: Oh, now look, Tracy, you're not going soft and spooky on me, are you? I like you much better when you're your hard-bitten old self

Tracy: Just the same, I'll bet you a box of girls' scout cookies that somebody died last night

Tracy: Actually, I'm in a band so that I can get laid.

Jacki: C'mon dude, chicks do not need to be in a band to get laid.

Jacki: Tracy, while we were waiting for you, we took a vote. We're now a cover band.

Tracy: [grabbing her crotch] Cover this, dude.

Tracy: I need help.

[Matt and Kevin propose a road trip]

Matt: Anyways, we came up with this idea when we leave here we have no idea where we're going.

Tracy: And that's different from any other time how?

Kevin: No, see that's the fun part. Just get in the car and go - it don't matter where. That's what makes it fun.

Tracy: Hey, guess where we're going!

[Shelly shakes her head]

Tracy: We don't know.

Kevin: Sounds good, huh?

[the gang finds Michelle's car abandoned on the side of the road]

Tracy: What are we going to do? We don't know where she is.

Matt: We don't know where *we* are.

[Kevin has just lost a quick draw contest with "the sheriff"]

Matt: He's dead.

Tracy: What?

Matt: He's bleeding. He's really fucking dead!

Shelly: I thought you said that they were just... blanks.

Victoria Bailey: Honey, your friend did have blanks, but my husband uses real bullets.