Townsman Quotes in The Quick and the Dead (1995)

Townsman: We're gonna have to bury this old man deep. He stinks something awful.

Townsman: [being dragged through the street] Well, that's the end of this suit.

Townsman: Are you sure there are two l's in 'dollar', Gideon?

Gideon: Yes! An' are there two g's in 'bugger off'?

Townsman: I thought all this money would make me feel different.

Townsman: I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight?

Townsman: Mister Mac! That was a telephone call from America, there's a Mister Happer coming to see you.

MacIntyre: Happer?

Townsman: Yes, H-A-P-P...

[he pauses to think]

Townsman: ...P-E-R. They spelt it for me!

Mayor Olly Perkins: You interested in the job of sheriff?

Jason McCullough: Oh, maybe. How much does it pay?

Townsman: Well, none of our sheriffs ever lived long enough to find out.

Bartender: Remember what the sheriff said: no more shootin' till the sun goes down.

Townsman: Is that what he said?

Bartender: That's close enough, brother. Drinks are on the house!

[first lines]

Townsman: Doc Holliday just got off the stagecoach! Do you want me and some of the boys to come along with you?

Pat Garrett: Why do ask that?

Townsman: Well, I certainly wouldn't want to fool around with him if I were alone.

Pat Garrett: I don't blame you, but I ain't gonna make no trouble for Doc Holliday. He's my best friend!

Townsman: [Dusty and Donovan are in the middle of their bar room brawl] What happened with them two?

Sheriff McCoy: They got married.

Townsman: [Book, dressed in Amish clothes, has just finished severely beating a local youth who was harassing Daniel Hochleitner] Never seen anything like it in all my years!

Daniel Hochleitner: He's from Ohio, my cousin.

Townsman: Well, them Ohio Amish must be... different. Around here, the brethren don't have any of that kinda fight in 'em! Good day to you, Mr. Lapp! This ain't good for the tourist trade, you know! Tell that to your Ohioan friend!

Townsman: I've got a half dollar that says he's a skinny runt tied to a big gun. You know, them skinny ones is the ones that get handy with a gun. They got to, you know.

Townsman: [after he has sold his cabin and its furnishings to Doc Frail, an Indian woman comes out of he cabin] I'll throw her in for another five dollar gold piece.

Dr. Joseph 'Doc' Frail: [Unenthusiasticly] No thanks.

Youth: Well, you can say what you want, but he's done more to clean up the territory in six months than any ten men wearing stars.

Townsman: I'm not arguing that. What I'm saying is that he's done more killing than most of the men he's gunned down.

Doctor: [after being hurriedly summoned] What is it - a baby or a shooting?

townsman: A shooting.

Marshal Buck Roberts: [as the townsmen are tearung boards from the sheriff's office door] Don't look like it's been used recently.

Townsman: Not since the sheriff was shot two years ago, but it'll hold you.

[believing Fuzzy to be psychic, the townsmen consult him about future events]

Townsman: Oh, Mr. Jones, when would be a good time to sell my crops?

Fuzzy Q. Jones: Oh, about the first.

Townsman: The first of what?

Fuzzy Q. Jones: The first chance you get!