Airport security quotes:

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I seethe at the humiliation of airport security checks. -- Tom Hodgkinson
With existing technology, we can enforce airport security without sacrificing our personal privacy. -- Tom Udall
I believe the public's confidence would be increased if the federal government took over the functions of airport security screening for all passengers. -- David Neeleman
Whether it's watching a $4,000 laptop fall off the conveyor belt at airport security, contending with a software conflict that corrupted your file management system, or begging your family to stop opening those virus-carrying 'greeting cards' attached to emails, all computer owners are highly leveraged and highly vulnerable technology investors. -- Douglas Rushkoff
If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. George Washington, took on the British Empire. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Ken Titus taped a hotel key to his underwear to score with an airport security guard. -- Christopher Titus
The events of September 11 would have been impossible if there were no airport security system at all. If average Americans were allowed to carry their personal firearms on board our aircraft ..., the chances that several passengers on each flight would have been armed-and thus able to shoot the hijackers, preventing the Trade Center and Pentagon hits-would have been quite substantial. -- Vin Suprynowicz
Airport security exists to guard us against terrorist attacks. -- Salman Rushdie
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. -- Dave Barry
It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security. -- Doug Stanhope
There were precisely two groups of people who desperately wanted airport security to be browbeaten into giving suspicious passengers a pass: terrorists and Democrats. -- Ann Coulter
Gough never pretended to perfection or to sainthood - well, hardly ever. Although when he set off the metal detector at airport security, he would blame his aura. -- William Faulkner
Don't touch my junk, you airport security goon--my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I'm a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come? -- Charles Krauthammer
Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq. -- Chelsea Handler
Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether. -- Ann Coulter
Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full." -- Robin Williams
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me. -- Jay Leno
I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport. -- Lewis Black
We boarded the plane after boxing our stakes and knives and taking them to a FedEx carrier, airport security being so strict nowadays. In the section marked 'contents', Bones filled out 'Tofu'. God, but he had a sick sense of humor sometimes. -- Jeaniene Frost
The federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to the travels, they want to make it easier for us. They're instructing security guards to glance at your luggage tags so that they can call you by your first name. Isn't that creepy? The guy touching your wife, calling her by her first name. -- Jay Leno
I'd like to fly. Then I wouldn't have to wait in airport security lines. -- Jim Morris
A witticism in an airport security line is like a Swiss tap - turn it on, and you instantly find yourself in hot water. -- Shashi Tharoor
Sometimes airport security people recognize me. I'll go through the whole screening process and at the end they'll go, 'Hey, man, I really like your work.' That's so cool. -- Reggie Watts
When we were scared about 9/11, we federalized the airport security, we spent millions for body armor for dogs in Ohio. All that over-reaction comes from fear and government - bad combination. -- John Stossel
I've done so many Lifetime movies; at this point, I'll be going through airport security, and the lady there will be like, 'I took the weekend off and I saw four of your movies.' And I say: 'You've been watching Lifetime, right?' -- Linden Ashby
I want to be a Bond girl. Think about it - I have metal components in my legs, so when I go through airport security, I set off the alarms. But when they realize why I'm beeping, they let me through. What if I had weapons in my legs? I could take one off and pull out an Uzi! Legs Galore - that would be me! -- Aimee Mullins
At the departure gate, a drunken airport security woman was handing out box cutters to the passengers. -- Warren Ellis
Other countries, such as Israel, successfully employ behavior detection techniques at their airports, but the bloated, ineffective bureaucracy of TSA has produced another security failure for U.S. transportation systems. -- John Mica
To tell you the truth, man, we spend most of the time travelling in hotels, in festivals, in concert halls, clubs, airports. The most unenjoyable part is all the security at airports. -- Hugh Masekela
Airport security is a particular bugbear. At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man, while I can see that averting terrorism is manifestly important, the measures taken seem, simultaneously, absurd. -- James Purefoy
There's a piece of lead where my heart should beat Doctor said too dangerous to take out You'd better just leave it be Body grew back around it, a miracle, praise be Now, if only I could get through airport security "bullet -- Gayle Forman
I feel gigantic affection for all of Homeland Security at airports. -- Jeff Perry
I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage. -- Johnny Vegas
When the Transportation Security Administration adopted body scanners at airports, activists wrote the Fourth Amendment on their underwear in metallic paint readable by the new devices. -- Dana Priest
I always thought security was a joke at New York airports, and in U.S. airports to begin with. You can go through any European or Middle Eastern airport and things are a lot tougher. -- Richard Drew
We put people of concern on the watch list or the no-fly list, so we have a number of layers of security beyond the airport checkpoint. We gather as much information about a passenger as the law allows without profiling. -- John Pistole
After Lockerbie, everyone thought, now we've learned the lesson of how to be proactive instead of being reactive. Unfortunately, September 11 came and we know the result. Thousands of people lost their lives. Security totally failed, not at one airport, at three different airports around the country. -- Isaac Yeffet
Why do we go through all the nonsense with security at our airport? It's not because the Catholic Church is falling apart. -- Michael T. Flynn
The front line with ISIS isn't just in Iraq and Syria, it's in Kennedy Airport and the Rio Grande. Border security is national security. -- Ted Cruz

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