Arse quotes:

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My arse contemplates those who talk behind my back. -- Francis Picabia
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. -- Rowan Atkinson
A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man. -- e. e. cummings
Whether I fall on my feet or fall on my arse, I dunno. You've got to take those risks. -- Ryan Kwanten
Some smart man once said that on the most exalted throne in the world, we are seated on nothing but our own arse. -- Wendell Mayes
I could be a bit of a pain in the arse. Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend to be even more of a pain in the arse. -- Harold Pinter
Young people can be disruptive and screw up classes. But even if they are being a pain in the arse it's a cry for help - they don't feel like they are being listened to. -- Jamie Oliver
St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes. -- James McAvoy
I need them, need them to give me a kick up the arse. Otherwise I'd just be sat-in getting fat, counting me money. It's good people living on your doorstep and looking through your bins. Gives you energy. -- Liam Gallagher
If, however, you have richer pursuits in mind and know that no woman should be judged by how she looks - that everything she brings to the party is more important than the size of her arse - then refuse to be sucked into the never ending whirligig of self-doubting, self-hating madness that is stop-start dieting and crazy new exercise regimes. -- Arabella Weir
A fart is just your arse applauding. -- Billy Connolly
The other man's arse is always cleaner! -- Stephen Fry
Tony Abbott would do anything but sell his arse -- Tony Windsor
Analytically speaking, Sigmund Freud talked out of his arse -- Dean Cavanagh
A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart." -- Frater U.D.
The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse. -- Tony Abbott
I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse -- Karl Pilkington
Dance music was on its arse before we came along. -- Sergio Pizzorno
That is NOT the arse of a Â£7million player! -- Eamon Dunphy
Not that i had a big arse but even that was toned. -- Benedict Cumberbatch
The only thing I get from the theatre is a sore arse. -- John Lahr
It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see logic. -- Joseph Goebbels
You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once. -- Noel Fielding
An ample arse helps you to be weighed down and be grounded. -- Pedro Almodovar
Destiny can sometimes be history coming back to bite you in the arse. -- Hal Duncan
Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse but enough about Kanye West. -- Stewart Francis
I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse. -- Robert Muchamore
My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. -- Wendy Higgins
I'm at the age where i don't have to kiss arse or play nice! -- Sharon Osbourne
Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse. -- Kate Winslet
To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high. -- Aristophanes
Yeah, arrest that man on the crime of having 8 Chicken McNuggets stuck up his arse. -- Dwayne Johnson
Whoever designed this frigging map was having a laugh. Just around the corner, my arse. -- Freya Stark
The Devil has all the best tunes? My arse! Metalville just got a new sheriff. -- Mark Rice
The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse. -- Benjamin Franklin
If I could dance like the ladies can, it would have been my arse on your screens -- Lily Allen
As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse. -- George Galloway
I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not. -- Keith Miller
Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered. -- Abigail Gibbs
I am naive. I make mistakes - But I don't give a rat's arse how I am perceived! -- Shirley Manson
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh. -- Billy Connolly
There are two things you can be certain of: dying and getting the arse as a football coach. -- Royce Hart
If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases. -- Algernon Sidney
Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse. -- Alexei Sayle
I've just been livin' a normal life, going shopping, going out, gettin' pissed. I keep sitting on my arse doing nothing. -- Lady Sovereign
The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can. -- Tom Hardy
It's interesting to see the dislocation between how people perceive a person visually. Apparently on the radio I'm blonde with a big arse. -- Tamsin Greig
I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse! -- Anthony Foley
I might take what I do very seriously, but at least I'm doing something, rather than sitting on my arse and being no-one. -- Joshua James Alphonse Franceschi
The word arse is as much god as the word face. It must be so, otherwise you cut off your god at the waist. -- D. H. Lawrence
There's no way I'm going to put myself through Sandhurst and then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country. -- Prince Harry
I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home. -- Billy Connolly
Well, we went through a lot of names. But seeing as, musically, I wanted to swing through the jungle baring my arse, I thought Gorillaz was a perfect name. -- Murdoc Niccals
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. -- Billy Connolly
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls. -- Dylan Moran
One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word 'arse' somewhere in the sentence. -- Nick Hornby
But big peopleâ??s illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end. -- Khushwant Singh
Is man a savage at heart, skinned o'er with fragile Manners? Or is savagery but a faint taint in the natural man's gentility, which erupts now and again like pimples on an angel's arse? -- John Barth
I thought rock and roll was an unassailable outlet for some pure and natural expression of rebellion. It used to be one channel you could take without ever havin' to kiss arse, you know? -- Keith Richards

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