The Cook Quotes in Titan A.E. (2000)

The Cook: [after fixing the gravity drive] Just needed some love.

Harry: Hey Cookie, do you know why they call cooks fitters and turners?

The Cook: No, why?

Harry: 'Cos you fit food into pots and turn it into shit.

The Cook: Up your arse!

Harry: Uh, be nice to me Cookie or I'll piss in your scrambled egg.

The Cook: Lemme tell you somethin', when you're a child people tell you that everything's gonna be all hunky-dory and all that bullshit, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. So get that out your head right now. Life's some big old feast, yeah, but you? You ain't nothin' but a stupid little waitress. Everything you got on your platter gonna fall on the floor and ain't nobody gonna be there to pick it up for you. Someday it's all gonna be on you.

The Cook: Oh, is Mr. Knightley coming?

[Emma has given the cook the menu for that night's dinner, and she has been preoccupied with thoughts of Mr. Knightley]

Emma Woodhouse: Why do you say that?

The Cook: Lamb stew is his favorite.

The Cook: [telling a story to Ross, whose asleep in the passenger seat] I tell ya, I remember a time when I was about... I was little, I don't know... 4, 5 something like that. We had this old dog that had a litter of puppies. And I walked in the bathroom one day and my Mother was standing there, kneeling down... Dog had a litter of about 8, and my Mother was bending over killing each one of these little puppies in the bathtub. I remember I said 'why?'... She said 'Im just killing what I can't take care of' - Then my momma said to me, she looked at me and she said 'I wish I could do that to you'. - Maybe she, maybe she shoulda.

The Cook: It's not what the pussy can do for you, it's what you can do for the pussy!

The Cook: She can't handle her shit, man. You know? She's been, like, partying with the candy for ten, eleven days. And then the bitch crashes, and then she starts freaking out. Man, you know, she'll split for a day or two then she'll come back. She's just spun.

The Cook: Nice titties. Small ass.

Pornclerk: Hey, you're back for me honey, aren't ya?

The Cook: Hey, fuck you pussy boy.

[pushes the Porn Clerk then goes to a private booth]

Pornclerk: Fuckin' asshole!

[dials cops]

The Cook: You wanna go back to Las Vegas with all them gucci wearing motherfuckers?

The Cook: [at a porn shop] No, that's an example what I don't like; that there is a loose ass, there's nothing more I hate than goddamn loose asses!

The Cook: Between a jest and a joke, many a truth can be told.