Steven Quotes in The Resistance (2011)

Takeshi: Why would America give a sh**t about China? There is nothing of interest to your country here!

Steven: Nothing of interest? This is Genocide!

Steven: My Father's half-dead. My bride has been captured. And you're babbling on about seedlings?

[during siege on castle]

Arnolfini: Steven, you stay right here with Father George.

Steven: Why?

Arnolfini: Fighting is for fools.

Steven: What are you doing in this filthy place? Are you looking for something?

Agnes: I read a book in the convent library, about love and black magic. There was a passage I found fascinating.

Steven: What was it about?

Agnes: A magic root. Mandrake. It grows in a place like this. If a man and a woman eat of it, they will love each other forever.

Steven: Did it also say why you have to dig in this particular spot?

Agnes: The nuns inked out that passage very carefully.

Steven: When a man is hanged, he comes and his semen spills to the ground. That's where your mandrake sprouts.

Agnes: Explains why the passage was inked out.

Steven: [eats two pieces of toast, each covering an entire table, while levitating upside down] Delicious toast!

[smashes through a giant coffee cup]

Steven: Excellent coffee!

Steven: Have you seen the state of my tractor!

Steven: Come on animals!

Steven: [whispering] Amy, is that wine in a box?

Amy: Mhmm. I have red too.

Guy in Back of Theater: What the fuck, is this guy ever going to shut up?

Amy: [drunkenly] Please watch the movie.

Steven: [whispering] Please stop. No, that's not right, don't do this to me.

Amy: Why is he yelling?

Steven: Listen, you always do this to me. You show up to these places, you put me in a situation... I'm a big guy - everybody wants to fight the big guy.

Amy: Yeah you are!

Guy in Back of Theater: Hey, Mark Wahlberg. Shut your bitch up.

Steven: Mar... Mark Wahlberg? Me?

Guy in Back of Theater: Who else looks like Mark Wahlberg? Your girl?

Steven: Mark Wahlberg is like 150 pounds! I'm 250 lean - I look like Mark Wahlberg *ate* Mark Wahlberg!

Guy in Back of Theater: Your muscles aren't the fuckin' problem; it's your yapping girlfriend!

Amy: [to Steven] Just say "fuck you".

Steven: I will *fuck* you! Alright? I will enter you!

Guy in Back of Theater: You're... you're gonna enter me? Did you hear what he said?

Amy: What are you talking about right now?

Steven: I'm just trying to intimidate him.

Amy: You're just talking about raping him.

Guy in Back of Theater: You're not about that life, champ. I can see it.

Steven: Oh, I am about that life. No no no, I will get *crazy* up in here! You like movies? We'll make a movie! We'll make "Mama Say Knock You Out" starring my fist and your dick hole!

Guy in Back of Theater: Oh, shit. What the fuck is wrong with this dude?

Woman in Back of Theater: He wants you.

Amy: Babe, your threats. I'm telling you, they're super gay.

Steven: Too sexual?

Guy in Back of Theater: This has to be the corniest muscle white dude I've ever seen in my fuckin' life.

Steven: Okay, Koko B. Ware, you know what? You're being an asshole! Alright? You know what I do with assholes? I lick 'em!

Steven: [to Amy] As I was turning off your phone, I got a picture of somebody's dick.

Guy in Back of Theater: It was mine!

Steven: Fuck you, Tone Loc! You wanna take it to the parking lot? Fine! If you can't find me I'll be the closest one on Grindr.

Steven: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.

Chip Douglas: Tho?

Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?

Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?

Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?

Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

Steven: You're right. That's incredibly insightful.

Chip Douglas: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.

Cable Guy: If Robin had seen you tonight, she'd be begging you to take her back. I'm telling you, these knights get laid all the time.

The Cable Guy: [He and Steve are on horses about to charge one another] This is our destiny!

Steven: No it's not!

The Cable Guy: Yes it is!

Steven: No it isn't!

The Cable Guy: Yes it is!

Steven: Isn't!

The Cable Guy: T'is!

Steven: Isn't!

The Cable Guy: T'is!

Steven: The cable guy is missing in action.

[talking with Rick on the phone]

Steven: Apparantly he is gonna be here between eight a.m. and my death.

Steven: I have this friend and he gave his cable guy $50 and then he got all the movie channels for free. You ever hear of anything like that?

Chip Douglas: [Walks slowly towards Steven] You mean illegal cable?

Steven: Um... Yeah.

Chip Douglas: Who told you that? What is his name? I want it.

Steven: Just forget it.

Chip Douglas: You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correction facility!

Steven: No, please, that was dumb. I was just making conversation. Forget it.

Chip Douglas: [Bursts out laughing] I'm just jerking your chain! Ha ha ha. The look on your face! Ha ha, you are too easy!

[laughs harder]

Chip Douglas: Wake up, little snoozy. Smell the smelling salts? Ha ha ha. I'll juice ya up.

Steven: I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she asked me to move out.

Cheyenne: What do you call yourselves?

Steven: The Pieces of Shit.

Cheyenne: That's a really good choice.

Steven: You're fuckin' right it is, yeah! It took us 6 months to come up with it, besides it's exactly the right name for this moment in history.

Steven: We are all Gods animated cartoons.

Steven: Don't be scared, 'cuz I'm Funny Steve... with a lampshade on his head. Singing and dancing, for your entertainment, his own rendition of "Singin' in the Rain"!

Steven: What do you need it for?

Steven: I look both ways when I cross the street.

Fannie: You can fuck me if I'm wrong!

Steven: No, That's okay.

Fannie: Oh hey, what are you doing on the Fourth?

Steven: I don't know.

Fannie: 'Cause I just ordered some kick ass fireworks. Like, even the chinks are scared of this shit.

Steven: What about the little girl?

Fannie: Look, don't worry, alright. Worst case scenario it's her kid, alright, at least you know she puts out.

Steven: I've been in love with you ever since I sat on my glasses.

Fannie: I bought a gift for you.

Steven: Oh, no.

Fannie: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.

Steven: Oh, thanks!

Fannie: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.

Steven: Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".

Fannie: Yeah. Chicks dig it.

Steven: Man, even their car's on steroids!

Bradley: Butt-sniffers! They're not gonna get away with it!

Steven: Forget it, man. They're too big! We can't win.

Steven: Shit, it's hot!

Andy: Greenhouse effect. Acid rain, nuclear dumping, no ozone left, the whole planet's a goner. I give it another five years max.

Steven: The guy comes into *my* world and calls *me* an asshole!

Steven's Mother: Steven, who are you talking to at this hour?

Steven: [covering the phone] I am having a civil fucking conversation with one of my friends, Mother!

Steven's Mother: [calling from upstairs] Steven, want some lunch?

Steven: [throwing an empty soda can at the stairs] I'm on the phone, bitch!

Steven: [Steven stabs David Shaw, while using his left hand to cover his mouth] You should thank me. Artists are always appreciated more after they're dead!

Steven: When you wake up tomorrow, all this will seem like a bad dream.

Emily: [lying on her bed, in her bedroom, inside her family's mansion] What if there is no tomorrow?

Steven: [leans forward to kiss her forehead] You know better than that.

Emily: [while sitting in Steven's chair] That's not happiness to see me is it?

Steven: [upon entering his office, startled to see her in his office] try surprised.

Steven: [in David's loft, sitting on his bed] Fucking my wife.

David Shaw: [sitting in a stool] I don't know...

Steven: I think it's about time you called me Steven.

David Shaw: We're in love, sir.

Steven: That's it? You steal the crown jewel of a man's soul, and your only excuse is some candy ass Hallmark card sentiment? Even if it were true, that's not good enough!

David Shaw: What weren't true?

Steven: She is in love with you, buddy. You're in business.

David Shaw: What the hell are saying?

Steven: I'm saying you did not meet my wife by chance, I'm saying is you didn't study at Berkley, I'm saying is you learned to paint by doing three to six at Soledad State Prison, for relieving a widow in San Francisco of her life savings, your second conviction, if I'm not mistaken your real name is Winton Lagrange, which I'd rather like, born to pure trailer trash in Barstow California, warded to the court at the age of 10, you went from pick pocket, to car thief to con man until you found out you had a way with the softer sex no doubt looking for that mother you can barely remember, life made up of completely depressing little scams, until now.

David Shaw: Where'd you get all that?

Steven: All that is for sale, Winston. Yhe hell of it is that you're not half bad with a brush.

David Shaw: Thank you. Call it rehabilitation.

Steven: Call it a con and my wife is the grand prize but you set your sights a little too high this time/

David Shaw: She loves me.

Steven: She loves "David Shaw", your invention. not that it matters because you made a fundamental miscalculation. Now you play it out, love conquers all, Emily divorces me, she marries you. Given your history, her advisors are going to insist on a prenup, so you might storm the castle but you're not getting the keys to the treasure room ever!

David Shaw: I don't care about that.

Steven: The petty swindler, doesn't care about a trust fund that can buy fucking Barstow? Why don't you cut the shit? You care or we would not be having this conversation, the only thing that's stopping you from bolting out right now is bad genes and greed.

David Shaw: Now what?

Steven: Choices, I can tell Emily exactly who you are, and life will imitate art you become a starving painter, game over.

David Shaw: Or?

Steven: Or you can cash out.

David Shaw: Cash out?

Steven: Half a million dollars, tax free.

David Shaw: Just for walking away from her?

Steven: I said "tax free", I didn't say "free."

David Shaw: [walking slowly behind him in the park] Excuse me sir, can you spare me 400 grand?

Steven: [holding the bag, wearing sunglasses and a dark trench coat] I don't see why not.

[first lines, walking towards her from the balcony, wearing a tuxedo, and holding a Martini]

Steven: There you are. And how was your day? Any progress in saving the world?

Emily: [while wearing formal business clothing] I'm working on it.

Emily: [standing in the hallway facing her] He must have put it back on his way in, didn't plan on that did you?

Steven: Young David. He was... he was very unpredictable.

David Shaw: [standing in front of Steven's desk] When's this card game of yours?

Steven: Tomorrow evening.

David Shaw: Tomorrow? No fucking way!

Steven: [walking quickly to the front door] We'll work it out? Let me tell you something, you work it out on your fucking own! This is over!

Steven: [forcefully slamming the door shut] You're not leaving me, the only way you leave me is dead!

David Shaw: [standing in front of Steven's desk] What happens if the plan goes to hell?

Steven: It won't.

Steven: How's *that* for wet work?

Steven: [irritated for being forced by David to meet in a crowded diner] What do you want?

David Shaw: The rest of my money.

Steven: [scoffs] You didn't fulfill your end of the bargain, did you?

David Shaw: So?

Steven: So, what do I get?

David Shaw: You get the "super fine thing", might even call it the "legitimately sublime."

Steven: What exactly is this "super fine thing?"

David Shaw: You're looking at it, it's called "time outside of prison" old partner, and you can't beat it with a stick.

Steven: Exactly how much time does four hundred thousand dollars buy me?

David Shaw: Whatever the market will bear.

Steven: It'll take me a few days.

David Shaw: You've got four hours.

Steven: That's impossible and you know it.

Steven: [standing in front of Steven's desk] I'm sure someone with your resume will be able to come up with an alibi in no time.

David Shaw: I'm sure someone with my resume would just take the money and run.

Steven: I'll bet you four hundred thousand more you don't.

David Shaw: [in David's loft] What's the five hundred grand for?

Steven: Killing my wife.

David Shaw: Emily?

Steven: One hundred thousand now, four hundred thousand after cash and carry.

David Shaw: You're out of your mind.

Steven: Not really.

David Shaw: Why?

Steven: I appreciate your curiosity but my agenda doesn't concern you.

David Shaw: What if I go to straight to Emily and tell her all this?

Steven: That'd be my word against yours, Winston.

David Shaw: What if I go to the cops?

Steven: Have you ever been to Boca Raton Florida? there was a lady down there that was carrying on with a much younger man he was a hell of a tennis player, anyway when the affair ended he disappeared, along with the lady's bearer bonds, an acquaintance of mine has a photograph of the suspect and all police need is a name, as in strike three, fifteen years no parole.

Emily: [talking privately in Steven's office] But why did you put his key on my key chain?

Steven: David threatened violence from the very beginning so when I saw the body lying in the kitchen I'm sure it was him none of the doors have been forced open so I assumed he had your key.

Emily: But when? I had just used it to come that evening.

Steven: Are you sure? He used your key? Because if memory serves me right, the door was wide open I saw you walk in.

Emily: Maybe.

Steven: In which case he could've taken your key the day before, did you see him the day before?

Emily: Yes.

Steven: So I went through his pockets and found what I thought was your key and I reacted I grabbed a screwdriver and jimmied the door and put back in his pocket and took what I thought was your key and put it on your keychain I am so sorry for having to put you through this it was the only thing I could do.

Emily: Can you ever forgive me?

Steven: I already have.

Emily: We have to go to the police.

Steven: I don't think this is the time for brutal honesty. I've tampered evidence in a homicide. I paid off a blackmail. I'm in way over my head and so are you, David can say anything he wants. He could say I hired him to kill you or he could say he blackmailed us, the happily married wealthy couple in which case it appeared we killed that poor bastard thinking it was David all depends how he wants to play it.

Emily: What about the man that I killed?

Steven: You think that has anything to do with David?

Emily: It must.

Steven: Do you have any idea how many burglaries are committed each day in this city? I don't think so.

Emily: What are we going to do now?

Steven: We're going to have to disentangle ourselves from your artist friend is there anything in his loft that can link David to you and I?

Emily: My ring.

Steven: I thought you said it was being repaired?

Emily: That was a lie I left it by the bed.

Steven: Is there anything else?

Emily: Isn't that enough?

Steven: I'll get it.

Steven: [Explaining the murder plan to David] There was a robbery in the building last year probable means of entrance is the driveway gate that granite facade creates a blind sport in the surveillance cameras it wasn't corrected for aesthetic reasons, you enter as I leave at eight o clock for my card game tomorrow night I'm not going to pull out of the driveway until its clear the gate takes five seconds to close you have the right side of the wall as I drive by then you enter the stairs and use the service elevator the key to the front door also works on the service entrance I'm going to take the key from Emily's purse and hide it behind the pipe in the stairway my key implicates me her key could've been lost or stolen in any case she's not going to be around to explain, the lock to the service entrance is always dead bolted she won't notice it even if she checks you'll be in the stairway at nine thirty, by that time Emily will be taking a bath because that's what she does on nights I play cards the phone in the kitchen is a separate telephone line exactly ten o clock I'll call here when she answers the phone and the tragic confrontation will happen which will appear to be a spur of the moment bludgeon rifle the jewelry in the bedroom disable the service entrance lock and make it look like it was jimmied put the key back behind the pipe and leave the building the same way you came in.

Emily: [while sitting in Steven's chair] The key to the dead man's apartment was on my key chain, someone put it there after I killed him and there's only one person in the world that could've done that.

Steven: Me.

Emily: Why?

Steven: To protect you.

Emily: From what?

Steven: [Steven shows Emily of pictures her and David kissing] Your lover, unless somebody else sent me these pictures, he called me here at the office two months ago, bragged about how hard you fell for him, he shelled out a hundred thousand dollars but he wants more.

Emily: For what?

Steven: Breaking it off.

Emily: I don't believe you.

Steven: Did he mention Belize? That's where he took all the other ones, This guy was quite the aphrodisiac with lowly limited means he learned to paint in a state prison not at Berkley I don't know where we go from here Emily I don't know if "we" is an option I do know I have done everything in my power to protect you from this career criminal you let crawl into our bed.

Emily: Why didn't you tell me?

Steven: Because I was sure you were in love with him, were you?

Emily: I thought I was I can't even imagine what I put you through, is this why your business is in trouble? Banks and margin calls?

Steven: How did you know?

Emily: It's true, isn't it?

Steven: Yes, it's true but I can always make money that's the fun part, there's a god damn sea of it out there but there's only one of you.

David Shaw: [meeting in a crowded diner] Come on Steve, a man with your résumé can come up with four hundred grand in no time.

Steven: [Nods] Where?

David Shaw: My place, you don't show up with the cash, I'll mail the recording I have as "Steven's greatest hits."

Steven: I understand.

David Shaw: [hands him the tab] Be fucking sure you do.

Steven: [over a speakerphone with Steven's advisors Nolan and Stein present] In case you forgot Elliot, it's a "zero sum game, I just don't think you got the balls for it.

Elliot: The hell with you Taylor, this time tomorrow neither one of us will have any balls left.

Steven: Just don't panic.

Elliot: you're damn right I am.

Steven: so what's it to you? You dropped $50 million in a day?

Steven: do you know how fast 50 can become 500?

Steven: what's the spot rate?

Elliot: you look at it, we're sitting at ground zero and you're telling me to "think happy thoughts"?

Steven: [in his office at their home, referring to David] your right his very talented

Emily: did you buy anything?

Steven: I made him an "offer"

Emily: and?

Steven: and his "chewing" on it

Emily: [referring to his weekly card game] I don't want you to go tonight

Steven: what's wrong?

Emily: I need to talk to you

Steven: it's too late, they'll never get anyone to fill in, besides I beat them pretty bad last week, they're all going to want their money back.

Steven: [talking privately at the Stern of a ferry, referring to the imposter David sent to kill Emily] so who was he?

David Shaw: somebody I met at "Berkley"

Steven: can he be connected to you?

David Shaw: not anymore

Steven: you got any idea who you're fucking with?

David Shaw: yeah, you're the guy who hired me to kill your wife because you couldn't the "wet work" yourself, neither could I

Steven: so how do you know he didn't talk to someone?

David Shaw: Ron was a good man

Steven: not quite good enough

David Shaw: ok, what's plan B?

Steven: well it's a little coincidental if there's another attempt on her life

David Shaw: [sarcastically] gee you think?

Steven: so, we wait

David Shaw: for what?

Steven: I'll let you know

Steven: [making a toast with a Martini with Emily, preparing to go to The Met Gala] Here's to "stolen moments".

Steven: [joking with his friends and business partners at The Met Gala] Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Stein: [to Steven as he enters his office for the first time that day, referring to their bond investments overseas] The spreads are "blowing out" and the way things look in Europe, it could turn into a real bloodbath.

Steven: So, what are we talking?

Stein: We're talking at least a hundred and fifty basis points.

Hansen: Bundesbank will have to tag along, so your Yen and other positions are going to get hammered.

Steven: So, what's our exposure?

Nolan: Based on my preliminary model?

Steven: Yes, no frills.

Nolan: [implying the worst-case scenario for their investments] Think Chernobyl.

Steven: [leaving a message on David's answering machine] David, hi, it's Steven Taylor here, I'm finishing up a little early today and I thought I'd come by and check out your work, let's say about six if that "flies" with you, why don't you give me a call at my office here 544-1817, I look forward to seeing you.

Steven: [meeting in a bar] Want a drink?

David Shaw: No, I'm ok, unless you want another one?

Steven: No, I'm fine.

David Shaw: I asked you to meet me here because my place is kind of hard to find.

Steven: [jokingly] Like in the "illegal" loft space?

David Shaw: That's one way to put it.

Steven: [before leaving the bar] I feel like I'm knee deep in bohemian cache, lead on.

Steven: God's plan is something you'll find in your soul.

Saul Gregor: God's plan?

Steven: Yes. Yes, God's plan. He's got a plan for you, Saul.

Saul Gregor: For you and for me?

Steven: For you. For me. For every living creature on this earth.

Saul Gregor: How does that work... exactly, Steven? How does God choose who gets which plan? See, you got the plan with, uh, a mother, wakes up every morning and makes you breakfast, sees you off to a nice safe school. The one where your father comes home from his modest nine-to-five job, takes the time out of his day to throw the ball around, help you with your homework, read you a story before bed. What happens if I get that ripe ticket in God's plan? And you sit here across from your one and only visitor, who wants to be a minister. Determined to convince you that even the worst of God's creatures can find a meaning in life. Would you feel the same way then? You do not have the right to tell me about God's plan. There is no plan. I was born alone, and today I'm gonna die alone, and everything in between was my choice. So don't tell me about God's plan.

Steven: You're the sole controller of your own destiny. You really believe that God is unavailable in that world?

Saul Gregor: Yes I do.

Steven: Why, Saul? Why? What are you do determined to resist goodness in your life? You can't have it both ways. Okay, you can't be the victim, and claim to have...

Saul Gregor: How am I the victim? I've never claimed to be a victim.

Steven: Okay, fine, then you're not a victim. But you want peace. You claim to be powerless to achieve, and yet you want to be the sole owner of your actions. Well, for God's sake, Saul, you wanna claim all the power, fine. But do something with it. *Do* something. You truly want peace? Then allow yourself to believe for a moment that someone in this world loves you.

Saul Gregor: Will God?

Steven: Yes. Yes, God. God loves you. And for that alone, your life has value. You want peace. Why are you so adamant that it's not possible? If God doesn't want to bother with you, why is your heart so heavy? Where do you think this guily comes from?

Steven: I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off.

Michelle: Me too!

Steven: When is the baby due?

Lisa: There is no baby.

Steven: What? What are you talking about?

Lisa: I told him that to make it interesting.

[last lines]

Michael: Here's to Nick.

Steven: [whispering] To Nick.

[All]: To Nick.

Steven: You get a deer?

Michael: Naa man

Steven: C'maaan! You didn't get a DEE-E-EAH?

Steven: Where is a guy like Nick gettin' money like this?

Michael: I don't know. Cards maybe. Listen, Steven, I'm gonna take you home.

Steven: [Resisting] Aw, sh*t, Mike, you promised me. Come on. I don't fit. Look! hey!

Michael: I'm gonna take you home.

Steven: Man, look, you promised me man. I don't fit! Mike, I'll - hey. I'm sorry. You do as your heart tells you.

Angela: [Last lines] Its been such a gray day.

John: [Humming] Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm

[singing]

John: Stand beside her and guide her. La-la-de Da-da-da...

Linda: [singing] God bless America, Land that I love.

Linda, John, Axel, Michael, Stan, Steven, Angela: Stand beside her and guide her, Through the night with a light from above. From the mountains, to the prairies, To the oceans white with foam. God Bless America, my home sweet home. God Bless America, my home sweet home.

Michael: Here's to Nick!

Steven: To Nick!

Linda, John, Axel, Michael, Stan, Steven, Angela: To Nick!

Steven: Dr. Callaway!

David: You. What are you doing here?

Steven: I heard some noises. I saw you come out of the woods with a shovel. Is everything all right?

David: No.

Steven: Is Emily all right?

David: You stay away from us.

Steven: I want to see her.

David: You stay away or I'm gonna call the cops.

Steven: I want to see her now.

David: You sick fuck.

[last lines]

Steven: [as he comes into the bedroom] Morning sweetheart.

Laura: Good morning.

Steven: Where's Jessica?

Laura: [a beat] Who's Jessica?

Steven: [he laughs, thinking she is joking] Where's the baby?

Laura: [another beat]

[she looks confused]

Laura: What baby?

Steven: [realizes the truth and bolts from the room] Jessica? Jessica? JESSICA?

[Laura only sits on the bed with a blank look on her face]

[from trailer]

Steven: Wait. There's another tradition.

[looks at Charlie]

Steven: Always check your candy.

[Steven gets prepared to bury Charlie's body in the backyard]

Steven: [Steven takes the tarp off of Charlie] Happy Halloween.

Billy: [shouting from the top floor bedroom window] Daddy! I'm back from Trick-or-Treating!

Steven: [whispers] Billy. Shh. Please, be quiet.

Billy: [shouts] Why?

Steven: Because you'll bother the neighbors, now go watch Charlie Brown and I'll be in in a minute.

Billy: Charlie's Brown's an asshole!

Steven: Billy Wilkens! Language.

[Steven sighs continuing to bury Charlie]

[Steven tries to bury Charlie in the backyard when the neighbor dog Spike barks at him through the fence]

Mr. Kreeg: Spike! Spike! Get your ass in here. Are you finished crapping or what?

[Steven hides in the hole when Charlie kicks and grunts]

Mr. Kreeg: Who the hell is that?

[Steven kicks Charlie to shut up]

Steven: I've got an NRA membership in my pocket and a shotgun over the fireplace, so get outta here before I...

Mr. Kreeg: It's me, Mr. Kreeg. Steven, Steven Wilkins.

Steven: What in God's name are you doing down there, Wilkins? Hiding Bodies?

[Steven kicks Charlie again as he grunts from the bag]

Mr. Kreeg: What did you say?

Steven: Nothing, its... Uh, septic tank is acting up.

Mr. Kreeg: Is that what that smell is?

Steven: I'm afraid so.

Mr. Kreeg: Then fix it. It stinks like a dead whore out here.

Steven: I'm...

[kicks Charlie]

Steven: ...Trying.

[kicks Charlie again]

Mr. Kreeg: And keep your kid out of my yard. Goddamn freak.

[Mr. Kreeg heads back to his house]

Steven: Happy Halloween.

Mr. Kreeg: Screw you!

[Mr. Kreeg slams his back door]

[the girls set up the dead corpses around the fire]

Laurie: I'm nervous.

Danielle: [combs the front of her hair] Hey. You're gonna be fine. Just be yourself.

Laurie: It's my first time so... just bear with me.

[the girls begin to dance, snarl, and hiss]

Steven: What are you doing?

[the girls' skin begins to rip, peel, with growls, as Steven begins to scream]

Laurie: My, my what big eyes you have.

[Laurie throws her back up and then strikes down to bite Steven's neck as he screams with horror]

[Steven Wilkens drags Charlie into the house when he gets some unexpected Trick or Treaters]

[the kids knock saying Trick or Treat!]

Chip: We know you're in there.

Sara: We can see you.

Macy: Hello!

Steven: [the kids start pounding and ringing the door bell as Mr. Wilken's screams] Just a minute!

[Steven opens the door and the kids scream at his bloody chocolate covered shirt]

Steven: Wait. No, no. Shh, shh. No.

[the kids start laughing]

Chip: Uh, great costume, Mr. Wilkens.

Steven: [muttering] Oh, right, candy.

Chip: Thanks.

Macy: Uh, Principal Wilkens, do you think that we might be able to have your jack-o'-lantern, please?

Steven: You're not gonna smash it, are you?

Macy: No, it's a scavenger hunt, for UNICEF.

[Macy smiles then gets nervous]

Steven: Anything for a good cause.

[Chip notices the blood trail leading from Steven's porch into his home, Chip slowly looks up at him]

Steven: [whispers] Happy Halloween.

Chip: Yeah. Happy Halloween.

[Chip leaves and reveals Sam standing behind him]

Steven: [Steven jiggles the candy bowl at Sam] Did you get one?

[Sam quickly grabs a candy before walking down the porch steps, Sam drag his candy bag that let's out what sounds like a cat screaming when Steven closes the front door]

[Steven talks to Charlie on the front steps of his house]

Steven: [bangs a knife on the pumpkin basket full of candy between them] Here. Help yourself. It's for the pumpkin, not you. Promise. All of mine were dull.

[notices the bottom of Charlie's shoes]

Steven: Ah. Smashing jack-o'-lanterns? Stealing candy? It's okay. Believe it or not, I was just like you when I was a kid. Till my dad set me straight, that is. See, my dad taught me tonight is about respecting the dead because this is the one night that the dead and all sorts of other things roam free - and pay us a visit. Sorry. All these traditions, jack-o'-lanterns, putting on costumes, handing out treats, they were started to protect us, but nowadays... No one really cares.

Natalie: What's his or her name?

Steven: Dog!

Natalie: You named your dog "Dog?"

Steven: See, I thought about 'Cat', but...

Steven: They're not your tribe anymore, I'm your tribe.

Steven: It's not for me.

Seymour Polatkin: How do you know that?

Steven: Because white people don't call each other at three in the morning.

Seymour Polatkin: Only a white person would say something like that.

Steven: Funny how that works, isn't it? You being a racist jerk and yet still finding the need to get me naked.

Seymour Polatkin: I just pretend you're Custer.

[first lines]

Steven: She may be a few minutes late. Will you please wait for her?

Mover: Yes sir.

Mover: Thank you.