Daisuke Jigen Quotes in Lupin the IIIrd: Jigen Daisuke no Bohyo (2014)

[from trailer]

Arsene Lupin III: Can you make it?

Daisuke Jigen: Who are you talking to? Do you think that I will be beaten? In the end, you're a business partner, not a friend.

Arsene Lupin III: [reads newspaper headlines] "Queen Marta, world-renowned singer from East Doroa, assassinated in West Doroa... non-aggression pact between East and West broken, national relations tenuous..." is West Doroa trying to make an enemy out of the world by breaking that peace treaty?

Daisuke Jigen: Who knows what they're thinking? My sympathies are for all the citizens getting caught in this divided-nation crap.

Arsene Lupin III: What's up with you?

Daisuke Jigen: It was my job to protect her, that's all...

Daisuke Jigen: There ain't room in this world for two top gunslingers!

Daisuke Jigen: What made you decide to risk your life to be here?

Queen Malta: I could ask you the same thing. What made you take this job?... I apologize. I want to believe that the power of music can bring the East and West from the brink of war.

Daisuke Jigen: Heading into enemy territory just to sing? You're a brave one, that's for sure.

Queen Malta: This country isn't the only enemy I face...

Arsene Lupin III: He has us in his sights!

Daisuke Jigen: If we don't make it to the warehouse, we're screwed!

Arsene Lupin III: Then we'll just have to make a run for it!

Daisuke Jigen: Wait a minute! If we're not careful we'll be sitting ducks out there! And I ain't ready to go just yet!

Arsene Lupin III: Just relax. He doesn't know when we'll run! On the count of three, right?

Daisuke Jigen: This is a gamble, not a plan! It's ME he's after, you know! Screw this up, and I'll haunt you for the rest of your days!

Daisuke Jigen: It isn't easy to play dead at the drop of a hat.

Arsene Lupin III: Oh, your act was very realistic. You should go on Broadway, you'd act the hell out of a corpse.

Daisuke Jigen: Spare me!

[Lupin and Jigen check out Okuzaki's hideout]

Daisuke Jigen: [checks out the wardrobe] Identical suits, really?

Arsene Lupin III: Prada... looks like you two have something in common.

Daisuke Jigen: I've got a wide range of suits, from Givenchy to Fendi!

Daisuke Jigen: I'm not in the habit of shooting defenseless people.

Yael Okuzaki: You never learn, only a madman would expect a different result!

Daisuke Jigen: I wouldn't be so sure...

Yael Okuzaki: Then... allow me to change.

[puts on a white jacket to replace his ruined one]

Daisuke Jigen: Another identical suit? I would call it an obsession, by this point.

Daisuke Jigen: How could they kill a singer from their own homeland who only desired peace?

Arsene Lupin III: No one can understand the mind of a tyrant.

Fujiko Mine: Oh, it's quite simple! Everyone loves money!

[Fujiko absconds with the Calamity File]

Daisuke Jigen: Are you ever gonna wise up? You ain't doing yourself any damn favours by keeping that woman around.

Arsene Lupin III: Don't be like that...

[holds up the FIle]

Daisuke Jigen: Jeez, I don't know why I put up with you...

Fujiko Mine: [looks through a duplicate] What the hell is this?

Arsene Lupin III: Could I ask you something? Why did you send Queen Marta's Calamity File to the media?

Daisuke Jigen: [remembers Queen Marta] I just... needed a good smoke.

Arsene Lupin III: Now that I can agree with.

[burns the File]

Daisuke Jigen: You sure about this?

Arsene Lupin III: It's not like we were ever trying to be heroes.

Daisuke Jigen: Damn straight. Just a thief...

Arsene Lupin III: ...And a gunslinger.

[both light their cigarettes with the burning file, and laugh]

Goemon Ishikawa: This infantile need to prove your virility is humiliating to behold... and dangerous. Your lust for this creature has blinded you to her true nature.

Arsene Lupin III: [sighs] You're jealous. Both of you.

Goemon Ishikawa: I warn you - abandon these indecent cravings for the sake of your soul.

Daisuke Jigen: Save it. You'll never change him by preaching at him, Goemon.

Goemon Ishikawa: And you. What kind of friend are you, Jigen? You just encourage him. You treat it as some kind of joke. You're worse than he is.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey, I don't have to listen to this!

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: Be careful I don't sink my blade into that hat of yours.

Daisuke Jigen: Yeah? You just try it.

Goemon Ishikawa: On second thought, I'd probably hit solid rock.

Daisuke Jigen: All this just to bag the two of us. Boy, with the Cold War over, things must be pretty slow.

Goemon Ishikawa: We can thank Lupin for getting us into this.

Daisuke Jigen: Life'd sure be dull without him, wouldn't it?

Daisuke Jigen: I have a sinking feeling about this.

Arsene Lupin III: You just gave me a great idea, buddy.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey, the road's over there!

Arsene Lupin III: Shut up!

Arsene Lupin III: You want a pillow back there...?

Daisuke Jigen: Just drive the damn car.

Arsene Lupin III: Goemon!

Goemon Ishikawa: The thing I can't stand is that secret indecent intention of yours!

Daisuke Jigen: Forget it. That's one thing you can never cure.

Goemon Ishikawa: And just what are you to Lupin? If you were a true friend, you should have cured his immoral habit years ago!

Daisuke Jigen: Don't get hysterical, you crazy man!

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: I've been wanting to cut that hat of yours.

Daisuke Jigen: Hmm? What's that mean?

Goemon Ishikawa: I want to see if you're hiding a bald head!

Daisuke Jigen: Well, now! Wanna fight?

Daisuke Jigen: So, this is the genuine American navy?

Goemon Ishikawa: It's stupid. This is too unrealistic.

Daisuke Jigen: You and me are the things that are unrealistic.

Goemon Ishikawa: Bad enough that your infantile addiction to this woman has consistently rendered you an unreliable business partner. But even now, as she conspires with others to have us killed, you continue to defend her! It shows that...

Arsene Lupin III: Please. Go on. Shows what?

Goemon Ishikawa: ...that you are a weak man of no conviction and no honour.

Daisuke Jigen: Come on. You're being a little too harsh, aren't you, Goemon?

Goemon Ishikawa: It is only natural for you to defend the actions of Lupin, especially since you are responsible for some of his sins as well.

Daisuke Jigen: What? Why, you pious jerk!

Goemon Ishikawa: What?

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: I've always wanted to slash that ridiculous hat of yours!

Daisuke Jigen: Huh? What was that?

Arsene Lupin III: Guys, come on!

Goemon Ishikawa: It's probably hiding a bald spot as big as your ass!

Daisuke Jigen: Now that's it!

Arsene Lupin III: Hey, wait! Come on! Look! You're right, OK? I'll turn over a brand new leaf! The woman is history! Word of honor! Now shake hands, and let's move on, OK?... I said let's go, alright, guys?

Goemon Ishikawa: A samurai warrior cannot work for a female. You accepted the commission to steal the stone for her only because you like the look of her ass. The wise man has said, "nice asses turn men into asses."

Arsene Lupin III: True... that sure was a wise guy.

Goemon Ishikawa: Your degenerate mockery is getting dangerously irritating!

Daisuke Jigen: Goemon, you ain't gonna get anywhere, so give up like I have.

Goemon Ishikawa: And do you dare to represent yourself as his friend? Willingness to amputate without ether is the test of friendship, and you have failed it!

Daisuke Jigen: God, you're such a boring schmuck!

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: The time has come for me to slice off your hat!

Daisuke Jigen: Mm? Just try!

Goemon Ishikawa: We shall see how little brain you have underneath it!

Daisuke Jigen: Okay! Try your luck!

Fujiko Mine: [referring to Mamo's promise of eternal life] I can't believe it. It was all a lie!

Arsene Lupin III: Maybe it wasn't. I think he was researching immortality...

Daisuke Jigen: He's just another wacky old rich guy.

Arsene Lupin III: Or a clone.

Daisuke Jigen: Say what?

Arsene Lupin III: You said it yourself. The guy had the bucks to pull anything off! Technologically, it's not a big deal anymore. Just a little dab of DNA'll do ya, and theoretically, if you repeat the process over and over again, you - or, successive copies of you - could live forever.

Daisuke Jigen: Well, it certainly would explain the mystery of your dear departed doppelganger...

Arsene Lupin III: And a single strand of my hair is really all anybody would have needed to do it.

Daisuke Jigen: Anybody with a few billion dollars to play with...

Daisuke Jigen: Don't be a friggin' idiot!

Arsene Lupin III: That's just it... I'd be an idiot if I didn't go!

Daisuke Jigen: The world is full of women, Lupin!

Arsene Lupin III: It's lousy with women. But not with love.

Daisuke Jigen: Oh!

[holding swollen jaw]

Goemon Ishikawa: Does it hurt?

Daisuke Jigen: No, I'm just humming a little song called "Ouch!" How was your sword stolen, anyway?

Goemon Ishikawa: Please do not ask me that question.

Daisuke Jigen: You know I'm right. It was a girl. I'm serious, I can read you like a book, Goemon.

[Goemon blushes]

Daisuke Jigen: Was she a pretty girl? A real pretty girl?

Daisuke Jigen: Forgot to bring any aspirin...

Goemon Ishikawa: You forgot? How could you forget With all the pain you're in?

Daisuke Jigen: You seem to have forgotten you lost your sword there, buddy!

Daisuke Jigen: [to Goemon] I think it's time we kicked some butt.

Daisuke Jigen: Which are we helping?

Lupin III: The girl!

Daisuke Jigen: Typical!

[first lines]

Daisuke Jigen: We got five billion in various denominations! It's a shower of bills, look out!

[a pile falls on Lupin]

Lupin III: There's a lot of them, isn't there? More! Bury me with them!

[Jigen buries Lupin with the bills as ordered, but sees Lupin look downcast]

Daisuke Jigen: What's wrong, Lupin?

Lupin III: Dump them.

Daisuke Jigen: WHAT?

Lupin III: These are fakes. Good ones, but fakes.

Daisuke Jigen: These? It can't be! We stole these from the vault of the national casino!

Lupin III: It's Goat Money.

Daisuke Jigen: Goat Money? You mean the phantom counterfeit?

Lupin III: It's even hit the national casino... Jigen! I've decided what our next job will be! First, we're gonna celebrate!

Daisuke Jigen: Damn, damn, damn you!

[an injured Lupin gorges himself on food]

Daisuke Jigen: Hey, stupid, don't wolf it down like that! Your stomach won't put up with it!

Lupin III: Shut up! I'll be fine in twelve hours and going like a jet!

Daisuke Jigen: Did you slip into that castle?

Lupin III: It's a story more than ten years old. I tried to solve the mystery of the Goat Money. I was still a young punk...

Daisuke Jigen: So what happened?

Lupin III: They gave me hell! I ran away with my tail between my legs.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey there, Lupin. You figure a way in yet?

Lupin III: Nope. That place is incredible. A nest of lasers and radar.

Daisuke Jigen: I see. We may even need a tank.

Goemon Ishikawa: That's why you called Zenigata, right?

Daisuke Jigen: What? Is that true, Lupin?

Lupin III: Exactly! You've got good intuition.

Goemon Ishikawa: Use poison to fight poison, eh?

Daisuke Jigen: [suddenly angry] Hey... you knew that that girl we met today was the daughter of the Archduke, didn't you?

Lupin III: [scornfully] Oh... you mean I didn't tell you?

[English dub]

Daisuke Jigen: You... you've broken into that castle before?

Arsene Lupin III: That was more than 10 years ago. I was looking for the secret of the Goat bills. I was still a young punk, just starting out.

Daisuke Jigen: And? What happened?

Arsene Lupin III: I got my butt royally kicked! Had to run away with my tail between my legs.

[Lupin wakes up]

Daisuke Jigen: Lupin?

Lupin III: Jigen! How long have I been out? How many days has it been?

Daisuke Jigen: Three... three days.

Lupin III: What? The wedding is tomorrow! I've got to...!

[struggles]

Daisuke Jigen: Take it easy! You'll tear open your wound!

Lupin III: Food! Bring me food!

Daisuke Jigen: Food? You mean rice gruel?

Lupin III: I've lost a lot of blood. Anything will do, just bring me lots of it!

Lupin III: The first thing we'll do is escape the castle. Jigen, Goemon, cover us!

Daisuke Jigen: Leave it to us! We'll hold them off here!

Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take care of yourselves, please. You too, Mr. Jigen.

Daisuke Jigen: Wha...?

Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Please come back safely. I'll never forget your kindness as long as I live.

Goemon Ishikawa: Go on, get out of here!

Lupin III: Hurry, Clarisse!

Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: I'm coming!

[Clarisse and Lupin leave]

Daisuke Jigen: She called me MISTER Jigen...

Goemon Ishikawa: She's sweet.

Daisuke Jigen: Let's get started!

Daisuke Jigen: I've never heard of the Duchy of Cagliostro.

Lupin III: With a population of 3500, it's the smallest nation in the world to be a member of the U.N.

Daisuke Jigen: And that's the source of the Goat Money?

Lupin III: There's a notorious legend about it, according to those in the know. They call it "The Black Hole of the Counterfeit World."

Daisuke Jigen: Black Hole?

Lupin III: They say that no one has gotten close to it and returned to tell about it.

Daisuke Jigen: Well, I'M sure scared. I'm so scared, in fact, that I'm gonna catch some Zs...

[fighting off Nanomachine's army of sentient blade-wielding tendrils]

Daisuke Jigen: Now would be a good time to leave!

Arsene Lupin III: What, you're afraid of a couple of pointy sticks? No, I'm staying here, Jigen!

[Lupin gets his buttocks slashed, he screams and bolts]