Arsene Lupin III Quotes in Lupin the IIIrd: Jigen Daisuke no Bohyo (2014)

[from trailer]

Arsene Lupin III: Can you make it?

Daisuke Jigen: Who are you talking to? Do you think that I will be beaten? In the end, you're a business partner, not a friend.

Arsene Lupin III: [reads newspaper headlines] "Queen Marta, world-renowned singer from East Doroa, assassinated in West Doroa... non-aggression pact between East and West broken, national relations tenuous..." is West Doroa trying to make an enemy out of the world by breaking that peace treaty?

Daisuke Jigen: Who knows what they're thinking? My sympathies are for all the citizens getting caught in this divided-nation crap.

Arsene Lupin III: What's up with you?

Daisuke Jigen: It was my job to protect her, that's all...

Arsene Lupin III: That bastard! Who the hell had the balls to shoot at us?

Arsene Lupin III: He has us in his sights!

Daisuke Jigen: If we don't make it to the warehouse, we're screwed!

Arsene Lupin III: Then we'll just have to make a run for it!

Daisuke Jigen: Wait a minute! If we're not careful we'll be sitting ducks out there! And I ain't ready to go just yet!

Arsene Lupin III: Just relax. He doesn't know when we'll run! On the count of three, right?

Daisuke Jigen: This is a gamble, not a plan! It's ME he's after, you know! Screw this up, and I'll haunt you for the rest of your days!

Arsene Lupin III: Why are you after Jigen?

Yael Okuzaki: Any motives are not my own, I just take out the targets I'm given.

Arsene Lupin III: Is that so? Then you've overstepped your boundaries. A sniper should never get this close to his target. And there's no man who can beat Jigen on the draw!

Yael Okuzaki: You have made two mistakes. Firstly, you assumed that my only skill is sniping. Secondly, you two have greatly overestimated yourselves.

Arsene Lupin III: [to Okuzaki] You've shown me that you know your way around a gun, but if you ask me you're noting but a gun yourself! Without someone to hire you to pull your trigger, you're just a worthless tool that has no will!

Arsene Lupin III: [sees a naked Fujiko] That's one hell of a view!

Fujiko Mine: [covers herself] Don't look at me!

Daisuke Jigen: It isn't easy to play dead at the drop of a hat.

Arsene Lupin III: Oh, your act was very realistic. You should go on Broadway, you'd act the hell out of a corpse.

Daisuke Jigen: Spare me!

[Lupin and Jigen check out Okuzaki's hideout]

Daisuke Jigen: [checks out the wardrobe] Identical suits, really?

Arsene Lupin III: Prada... looks like you two have something in common.

Daisuke Jigen: I've got a wide range of suits, from Givenchy to Fendi!

[Fujiko is being held hostage in a club and is about to be tortured by a giant robot's drill]

Arsene Lupin III: Quite a spectacle you have going on here... too bad Lupin the Third's about to steal the show! I advise all the perverted boys and girls to leave the building in an orderly fashion!

Daisuke Jigen: How could they kill a singer from their own homeland who only desired peace?

Arsene Lupin III: No one can understand the mind of a tyrant.

Fujiko Mine: Oh, it's quite simple! Everyone loves money!

[Fujiko absconds with the Calamity File]

Daisuke Jigen: Are you ever gonna wise up? You ain't doing yourself any damn favours by keeping that woman around.

Arsene Lupin III: Don't be like that...

[holds up the FIle]

Daisuke Jigen: Jeez, I don't know why I put up with you...

Fujiko Mine: [looks through a duplicate] What the hell is this?

Arsene Lupin III: Could I ask you something? Why did you send Queen Marta's Calamity File to the media?

Daisuke Jigen: [remembers Queen Marta] I just... needed a good smoke.

Arsene Lupin III: Now that I can agree with.

[burns the File]

Daisuke Jigen: You sure about this?

Arsene Lupin III: It's not like we were ever trying to be heroes.

Daisuke Jigen: Damn straight. Just a thief...

Arsene Lupin III: ...And a gunslinger.

[both light their cigarettes with the burning file, and laugh]

Arsene Lupin III: Time does us all in, Mamo! That's the way it's supposed to be.

Fujiko Mine: [gasps] Lupin?

Arsene Lupin III: Alas... only what's left of him.

Fujiko Mine: Hm. What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Arsene Lupin III: [walks to her with a rose] It means, my dear Fujiko, that you are a rose, and I have been pricked by the thorn of your indifference...

Fujiko Mine: "The thorn of my indifference?" Oh, brother...

Arsene Lupin III: [smells the rose] Fatally pricked, and now, almost completely wasted away, my darling.

Fujiko Mine: [chuckles] Fatally pricked, huh? You gotta love karma!

Arsene Lupin III: Yet, there is still one thing that could save me.

Fujiko Mine: What might that be?

Arsene Lupin III: If your petal-like lips would but caress my own unworthy sad ones, I might yet survive, my love.

Fujiko Mine: I would, but you know you'd just prick yourself all over again.

Arsene Lupin III: [throws the rose away] Boy, you're all thorns. And after all I went through to get you that damn Stone!

Arsene Lupin III: Why, Detective Zenigata! Long time no see, Old Man.

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Lupin! You're dead! Wait a second, that stiff in the coffin, that was you, right?

Arsene Lupin III: So they say. I'm a little confused myself.

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: They guaranteed that you were deader than a doornail! There wasn't a shadow of a doubt!

Arsene Lupin III: It's news to me. Frankly, I've never felt better in my life.

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Well, just hold still a second and we can fix that!

[swings a piece of wood at Lupin, who dodges, commencing a chase. By the time Zenigata catches up, Lupin has already reached his escape vehicle]

Arsene Lupin III: Hate to cut this short, but dead or alive, I think it's time I got out of here. Now don't forget to write!

[takes off]

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Ya little...! I'll be writing "REST IN PEACE" on your tombstone when I'm done with you! That lousy little thief, I knew he was still alive! HAHAHAHAHAHA! You had everyone else falling for it! Not Zenigata! This is one detective you can't shake that easily! This is one guy who will dog your every step to the very gates of Hell!

Goemon Ishikawa: This infantile need to prove your virility is humiliating to behold... and dangerous. Your lust for this creature has blinded you to her true nature.

Arsene Lupin III: [sighs] You're jealous. Both of you.

Goemon Ishikawa: I warn you - abandon these indecent cravings for the sake of your soul.

Daisuke Jigen: Save it. You'll never change him by preaching at him, Goemon.

Goemon Ishikawa: And you. What kind of friend are you, Jigen? You just encourage him. You treat it as some kind of joke. You're worse than he is.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey, I don't have to listen to this!

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: Be careful I don't sink my blade into that hat of yours.

Daisuke Jigen: Yeah? You just try it.

Goemon Ishikawa: On second thought, I'd probably hit solid rock.

Mamo: [shows off the people he's cloned] This is the work of 10,000 years. A masterwork, if I say so myself. The leading lights of science, philosophy, art. All under one roof, and all are perfectly real!

Arsene Lupin III: Hm! So, sort of a Noah's Ark?

Mamo: Let's just say that if you've never given any thought about the world, starting now would either be a particularly good idea, or a pathetically pointless one, if you catch my drift, Mr. Lupin.

Arsene Lupin III: Uh?

Mamo: Because the time is nigh, Mr. Lupin, but sadly the guest list is... quite short. Only the elite of history's most brilliant and beautiful people!

Arsene Lupin III: Oh, uh... I'm sorry to hear that.

[laughs hysterically]

Mamo: I imagine you are.

Arsene Lupin III: No, I mean, it's just after all that work... an ugly, demented gnome like you isn't even eligible!

Arsene Lupin III: I don't believe it!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: [laughing] Serves you right, lover boy!

Arsene Lupin III: Shall we?

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Let's go, buddy!

Arsene Lupin III: Hey look who's got his game face on!

Goemon Ishikawa: An unworthy target defiles the weapon.

Daisuke Jigen: I have a sinking feeling about this.

Arsene Lupin III: You just gave me a great idea, buddy.

Daisuke Jigen: Hey, the road's over there!

Arsene Lupin III: Shut up!

Arsene Lupin III: You want a pillow back there...?

Daisuke Jigen: Just drive the damn car.

Arsene Lupin III: Goemon!

Arsene Lupin III: Aye yi yi she's awful.

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: That's how women are!

Arsene Lupin III: Pops!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: So, let's get away for now!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Ah son of a bitch!

Arsene Lupin III: Hey Pops, take it easy, exercise can be awfully dangerous at your age ya know!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Shut up you!

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Lupin! Lupin! Don't you know you're supposed to be dead?

Arsene Lupin III: So it seems, and that's what's been troubling me.

Goemon Ishikawa: Bad enough that your infantile addiction to this woman has consistently rendered you an unreliable business partner. But even now, as she conspires with others to have us killed, you continue to defend her! It shows that...

Arsene Lupin III: Please. Go on. Shows what?

Goemon Ishikawa: ...that you are a weak man of no conviction and no honour.

Daisuke Jigen: Come on. You're being a little too harsh, aren't you, Goemon?

Goemon Ishikawa: It is only natural for you to defend the actions of Lupin, especially since you are responsible for some of his sins as well.

Daisuke Jigen: What? Why, you pious jerk!

Goemon Ishikawa: What?

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: I've always wanted to slash that ridiculous hat of yours!

Daisuke Jigen: Huh? What was that?

Arsene Lupin III: Guys, come on!

Goemon Ishikawa: It's probably hiding a bald spot as big as your ass!

Daisuke Jigen: Now that's it!

Arsene Lupin III: Hey, wait! Come on! Look! You're right, OK? I'll turn over a brand new leaf! The woman is history! Word of honor! Now shake hands, and let's move on, OK?... I said let's go, alright, guys?

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: Get back here! LUPIN! What the hell are you up to?

Arsene Lupin III: Oh, I'd say... at least several hundred feet, with any luck. See ya!

[takes off]

Inspector Koichi Zenigata: What the hell? Hey! HEY!

Arsene Lupin III: [chuckles] Bye! Catch you later!

Goemon Ishikawa: A samurai warrior cannot work for a female. You accepted the commission to steal the stone for her only because you like the look of her ass. The wise man has said, "nice asses turn men into asses."

Arsene Lupin III: True... that sure was a wise guy.

Goemon Ishikawa: Your degenerate mockery is getting dangerously irritating!

Daisuke Jigen: Goemon, you ain't gonna get anywhere, so give up like I have.

Goemon Ishikawa: And do you dare to represent yourself as his friend? Willingness to amputate without ether is the test of friendship, and you have failed it!

Daisuke Jigen: God, you're such a boring schmuck!

[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]

Goemon Ishikawa: The time has come for me to slice off your hat!

Daisuke Jigen: Mm? Just try!

Goemon Ishikawa: We shall see how little brain you have underneath it!

Daisuke Jigen: Okay! Try your luck!

Fujiko Mine: [referring to Mamo's promise of eternal life] I can't believe it. It was all a lie!

Arsene Lupin III: Maybe it wasn't. I think he was researching immortality...

Daisuke Jigen: He's just another wacky old rich guy.

Arsene Lupin III: Or a clone.

Daisuke Jigen: Say what?

Arsene Lupin III: You said it yourself. The guy had the bucks to pull anything off! Technologically, it's not a big deal anymore. Just a little dab of DNA'll do ya, and theoretically, if you repeat the process over and over again, you - or, successive copies of you - could live forever.

Daisuke Jigen: Well, it certainly would explain the mystery of your dear departed doppelganger...

Arsene Lupin III: And a single strand of my hair is really all anybody would have needed to do it.

Daisuke Jigen: Anybody with a few billion dollars to play with...

Daisuke Jigen: Don't be a friggin' idiot!

Arsene Lupin III: That's just it... I'd be an idiot if I didn't go!

Daisuke Jigen: The world is full of women, Lupin!

Arsene Lupin III: It's lousy with women. But not with love.

Mamo: The process has its limitations.

Fujiko Mine: Limits?

Mamo: The transfer of the chromosomal data is never accomplished with complete fidelity. There are... anomalies, infinitesimally small in each case, but the cumulative effect of such - chaotic - pollution... can be observed after only a dozen or so generations, and what you see before you is a 130th generation facsimile. I am but a faint, distorted echo of myself.

Arsene Lupin III: But you were always distorted by your obsession.

Mamo: But is it not... everyone's obsession?

Mamo: Obviously, eternal life would be wasted on a vulgarian like that man there.

Arsene Lupin III: [mishears] That's not true... I eat meat!

Arsene Lupin III: If you don't watch out, someone might end up cloning you! I don't want that happening to me! I'm an original!

[English dub]

Daisuke Jigen: You... you've broken into that castle before?

Arsene Lupin III: That was more than 10 years ago. I was looking for the secret of the Goat bills. I was still a young punk, just starting out.

Daisuke Jigen: And? What happened?

Arsene Lupin III: I got my butt royally kicked! Had to run away with my tail between my legs.

[fighting off Nanomachine's army of sentient blade-wielding tendrils]

Daisuke Jigen: Now would be a good time to leave!

Arsene Lupin III: What, you're afraid of a couple of pointy sticks? No, I'm staying here, Jigen!

[Lupin gets his buttocks slashed, he screams and bolts]