Shirley Moochmore Quotes in Mental (2012)

Shaz: And she's very, very sorry.

Doris: I'm very, very sorry.

Shirley Moochmore: For what?

Shaz: For being a cunt.

[the others gasp]

Shaz: You are a cunt. You are the cuntiest cunt of all time. Admit your cunthood. It's an irrefutable fact, like gravity.

Shirley Moochmore: Oh please don't make her say that.

Shaz: Oh, all right, she's sorry for not being a very good sister.

Shirley Moochmore: I'm sorry too.

Shirley Moochmore: Are you one of Dr Thornbender's patients as well?

Sandra: Yep. And I love her. And I don't like whiteys as a rule, but Shaz... Shaz isn't white. She's a new colour. She's mauve.

Shaz: Awwwwww

Sandra: It's true, Shaz, you're mauve. You're fucking mauve. Now Shaz knows. She knows. She's gonna change your fucking life.

Shirley Moochmore: That's the impression I get.

Barry Moochmore: Shirley. Shirley. I have been saving this for a special occasion. Your very own waterfall.

[holds up commemorative plaque]

Barry Moochmore: Named it after you. Put it through the Council last year. It's in the rainforest near Mount Warning. It's only a few hours' hike from the road... if you use a machete.

Shirley Moochmore: [takes plaque] Oh. Shirley Moochmore Falls. It's true - I did fall. I fell deep in a forest and there was no one there to hear me. Except there was someone... and it wasn't you. You had a family, Barry. You had a wife.