Nuts Quotes in The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

Dave: Why do they call you Nuts?

Nuts: Because I'm crazy.

Dave: You don't look crazy.

Nuts: Oh I'm insane. You should see me without my meds. My last job, didn't take my meds one day... an hour later, I was walking around naked with peanut butter in my hair, telling people my name was Zongo. I delivered an old lady a cup of hot water with my balls in it.

Dave: [laughs nervously] Talk about your Red Zinger.

Nuts: Yeah, but I don't remember any of it. My balls were red though.

[thinks, chuckles]

Nuts: Hey noodledicks! These guys just ordered 4 rounds of premium tequila! Now are you gonna sit by and watch while these guys make you look like fucking pussies?

Guy: What'd you do last night, playboy?

Nuts: I too had a wild night. I made sweet, hot love to an orangutan.

Guy: Really? What'd that smell like?

Nuts: Bananas mostly.

[pauses]

Nuts: Guy, I'm pulling your leg, I did not fuck an orangutan last night.

Connor: [to the bartender] This is for a pissed off movie star so give it some balls. Yeah that's it!

Nuts: Hola diablo blancos! Zongo like vodka!