Mikey, DJ interviewer Quotes in Love Actually (2003)

Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.

Billy Mack: For what?

Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here at "Radio Watford" I can tell you.

Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.

Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh, best shag you've ever had?

Billy Mack: Britney Spears.

Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!

Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.

Mikey, DJ interviewer: How do you think the new record compares to your old classic stuff?

Billy Mack: Oh come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the record's crap.

[laughs]

Billy Mack: But wouldn't it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn't some smug teenager, but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? All those young popsters, come Christmas Day... they'll be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls, and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager, Joe, ugliest man in the world, fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn't pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.

Mikey, DJ interviewer: I think you're referring to 'If you really love Christmas... '

Billy Mack: 'Come on and let it snow...?' Ouch!

Mikey, DJ interviewer: So, uh, here it is one more time, the dark horse for this year's Christmas Number One, 'Christmas Is All Around.' Thank you, Billy. After this, the news. Is the new prime minister in trouble already?