Meteor Bert Quotes in Joe Dirt (2001)

Meteor Bert: Well, it ain't a meteor.

Joe Dirt: Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky.

Meteor Bert: Well I'm sure it did but it ain't no meteor. It's a big ol' frozen chunk o' shit.

Joe Dirt: What?

Meteor Bert: Oh yeah, see them airplanes they dump their toilets 36,000 feet. The stuff freezes and falls to earth. We call 'em Boeing bombs.

[chomps teeth]

Joe Dirt: No, that can't be. That's not what it is.

Meteor Bert: Oh, afraid so. See that peanut? Dead giveaway.

Joe Dirt: Uhhh, no, that's a space peanut.

Meteor Bert: No, afraid not. That just a big ol' frozen chunk of poopy.

Studio manager: Dude, you were eating off it!