Lou Francis Quotes in Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man (1951)

Lou Francis: [about graduating] This is the happiest day of my life, how did I ever graduate?

Bud Alexander: [whispering] I slipped the guy twenty bucks. Now keep quiet.

Lou Francis: If that's not Tommy Nelson it's Frankenstein. FRANKENSTEIN!

Det. Roberts: [Tommy Nelson is gone] How did he get out?

Lou Francis: Installments.

Det. Roberts: Installments?

Lou Francis: Yeah, he did a Gypsy Rose Lee, come here!

[they find Tommy's clothes lying about]

Lou Francis: That, that's all that's left of him.

Det. Roberts: Evidently Nelson changed clothes... what was he wearing when you last saw him?

Lou Francis: Air... nothing but air... and then he asked me how he looked.

Det. Roberts: Wearing air? What are you talking about?

Lou Francis: I went to shake his hand, his hand was gone, I looked up to speak to him, his head was gone. Then he took off his shirt, his body was gone, he took off his pants, his legs were gone! Then he spoke to me, I was gone.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: I know, you saw this man disappear into thin air. Do you always see things?

Lou Francis: Only when my eyes are open.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: Did you ever see somebody disappear before?

Lou Francis: Yes sir, I have.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: This may explain it, seeing things. When did this happen?

Lou Francis: One day me and my brother were walking down the street... my brother disappeared.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: Into thin air?

Lou Francis: No, into a man hole.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: How about voices? Do you ever hear strange voices?

Lou Francis: Yes sir.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: Aha, and when do you hear these strange voices?

Lou Francis: When I get the wrong number on the telephone.

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: [hypnotizing Lou with a watch] Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock...

Lou Francis: [gasps] You forgot to say the mouse went up the clock!

Bud Alexander: I told you not to get smart, didn't I?

[Taking his coat off]

Bud Alexander: Now, I'll show you who is the boss.

Tommy Nelson: [Putting Bud's coat back on] No, I'll show you who's boss.

Bud Alexander: [Looking around] Who said that?

Lou Francis: The voice is familiar; but, I can't quite place the face.

Bud Alexander: [grabbed by the invisible man] Oh no! It's Tommy Nelson, Lou, he's here!

[grabs the air]

Bud Alexander: I touched him!

[gets slapped]

Lou Francis: I think he touched you back.

Lou Francis: [the invisible man is driving their car] Tommy, if we get in an accident, will you bleed too?

Bud Alexander: [a motorcycle cop comes up on the car Tommy's driving] I hope he has his license.

Lou Francis: I hope he's in the car!

Officer: [at the back window] Pull over to the side!

Lou Francis: [points to the front seat] Tell him, he's driving!

Officer: [moves up, looks at the empty driver seat] I said pull over to the...

[stops in a daze, cut to him on the psychiatrist couch looking at the doctor's watch]

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: Now tell us again what you saw.

Officer: I told you three times already.

Det. Roberts: Well tell it to him again.

Officer: I saw a car with nobody driving somebody.

Lou Francis: Tommy, you didn't kill your fight manager, did you?

Tommy Nelson: The evidence says I did. When I stepped out of the shower that night, I found O'Hara beaten to death on the locker room floor. The cop outside the door swore nobody else had come in, so they pinned it on me.