Linda Ash Quotes in Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

[showing Lenny a novelty watch]

Linda Ash: See, as the mainspring goes back and forth, the bishop keeps fucking her in the ass. It's a genuine antique and it keeps perfect time.

Linda Ash: I feel like I owe you a great fuck.

Linda Ash: And so there I am on the first day, on the set, and there's this guy fucking me from behind, right, and there's these two huge guys dressed like cops in my mouth at the same time and I remember thinking to myself, "I like acting. I wanna study."

Linda Ash: You're married, aren't you?

Lenny Weinrib: How can you tell that?

Linda Ash: 'Cause you got that look.

Lenny Weinrib: "That look?" What... what look is that?

Linda Ash: That look like it's been a long time since you had a great blowjob.

Lenny Weinrib: Who's Rickey?

Linda Ash: He's, he's... he takes a percentage of my work.

Lenny Weinrib: He's a pimp right?

Linda Ash: No, he's like a business representative.

Lenny Weinrib: Wha? ...what do you need a business representative...? All you need is a mattress and a couple of garter belts...you're not a conglomerate!

Linda Ash: My father's brother was supposed to be a genius. I never met him, but everybody said he was brilliant.

Lenny Weinrib: Really? What did he do?

Linda Ash: He was a serial rapist. He spent his whole life in jail, but if he had gone straight, he might have been very good in math.

Linda Ash: You didn't want a blowjob so the least I could do is get you a tie.

Lenny Weinrib: He's dicking around in agriculture.

Linda Ash: What's wrong with his dick?

[looking for the right horse to bet on]

Linda Ash: Here's one: Eager Beaver! I once did a film called "Beaver Patrol" about these Boy Scouts who find drunk Girl Scouts in the woods and they take them into a cabin and they reach into their packs and they pull out these dildos and then...

Linda Ash: But seriously, you wanna know why I liked you right from the start?

Lenny Weinrib: Why?

Linda Ash: 'Cause I'm always attracted to losers.

Lenny Weinrib: Losers. You think I'm a loser?

Linda Ash: Yeah, you've got no confidence, it's sweet, I like that in a man. I can't stand those johns who come in and throw down a couple of hundred and whip out a big dick and wave it all over the joint.

Lenny Weinrib: I wouldn't do that, even if I wanted to...

Linda Ash: You want to go inside, take a shower? You can study me up close and personal.

Lenny Weinrib: Oh... oh, no, I've bathed already.