Lenny Weinrib Quotes in Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

Lenny Weinrib: Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.

Lenny Weinrib: I'm sure that you're a state-of-the-art fellatrix.

Linda Ash: You're married, aren't you?

Lenny Weinrib: How can you tell that?

Linda Ash: 'Cause you got that look.

Lenny Weinrib: "That look?" What... what look is that?

Linda Ash: That look like it's been a long time since you had a great blowjob.

Lenny Weinrib: Who's Rickey?

Linda Ash: He's, he's... he takes a percentage of my work.

Lenny Weinrib: He's a pimp right?

Linda Ash: No, he's like a business representative.

Lenny Weinrib: Wha? ...what do you need a business representative...? All you need is a mattress and a couple of garter belts...you're not a conglomerate!

Cassandra: Now I see big trouble!

Lenny Weinrib: Oh for God's sakes, you're such a Cassandra!

Cassandra: I'm not 'such a Cassandra'; I am Cassandra!

Lenny Weinrib: I'm completely superfluous.

Kevin: Oh, you don't feel good?

Linda Ash: My father's brother was supposed to be a genius. I never met him, but everybody said he was brilliant.

Lenny Weinrib: Really? What did he do?

Linda Ash: He was a serial rapist. He spent his whole life in jail, but if he had gone straight, he might have been very good in math.

Greek Chorus Leader: Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it!

Lenny Weinrib: I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head.

Chorus: Oh, cursed fate; certain thoughts are better left unthunk.

Max: Who is the boss between you and mommy?

Lenny Weinrib: Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker.

Lenny Weinrib: You didn't see Schindler's List?

Kevin: No, no... that was the one with the Jews and the, um... who were the bad guys?

Lenny Weinrib: The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis.

Kevin: They were tough motherfuckers.

Lenny Weinrib: He's dicking around in agriculture.

Linda Ash: What's wrong with his dick?

Lenny Weinrib: [at the racetrack] There's a reason the horse is sixty to one though, y'know, he's probably got polio.

Lenny Weinrib: I'm not a violence person! I write about boxing and hockey and football!

Linda Ash: But seriously, you wanna know why I liked you right from the start?

Lenny Weinrib: Why?

Linda Ash: 'Cause I'm always attracted to losers.

Lenny Weinrib: Losers. You think I'm a loser?

Linda Ash: Yeah, you've got no confidence, it's sweet, I like that in a man. I can't stand those johns who come in and throw down a couple of hundred and whip out a big dick and wave it all over the joint.

Lenny Weinrib: I wouldn't do that, even if I wanted to...

Linda Ash: You want to go inside, take a shower? You can study me up close and personal.

Lenny Weinrib: Oh... oh, no, I've bathed already.

Lenny Weinrib: Adopt, what. I don't want to adopt. Not with my genes. I have award winning genes.

Lenny Weinrib: This guy's gonna put me in 27 separate Mason jars!

Lenny Weinrib: Six dates? It's a slow night. I wish I had the penicillin concession in your apartment.

Lenny Weinrib: I told you from day one the girl was not a virgin!

Kevin: You didn't tell me how many times though!