Juliet Forrest Quotes in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)

[In Rigby's office]

Juliet Forrest: If you need me, just call. You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles.

Rigby Reardon: If you want me to investigate your father's death, I get ten dollars a day - plus expenses.

Juliet Forrest: Will two hundred dollars be enough in advance, Mr Reardon?

Rigby Reardon: Two hundred, I'd shoot my grandmother.

Juliet Forrest: That won't be neccessary.

Rigby Reardon: Never can tell. In my last case, I had to throw my own brother out of an airplane.

Juliet Forrest: Could I be your Reinemachefrau?

Field Marshall Von Kluck: Ja, you could, you could be zat.

Rigby Reardon: What's that? What is it?

Juliet Forrest: Tell him what it means - Reinemachefrau.

Field Marshall Von Kluck: Reinemachefrau! It means she could be my cleaning woman.

Rigby Reardon: Get your sister Leona for me.

Juliet Forrest: All right. I'm afraid she may not be very much help. She's very disturbed.

Rigby Reardon: How disturbed?

Juliet Forrest: She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac. Doctors think she may be faking.

Rigby Reardon: I'll know after one word if she's faking.

Leona: [attending the telephone] Hello?

Rigby Reardon: [to Juliet] She's faking.

Rigby Reardon: [on the phone] Hi. It's me, Rigby. Sorry, Hot Legs, I've been busy. Look, you sashay over to your New York Times file and read me what's on page one, column six of the August 2nd issue... maybe I'll wine and dine you some night soon. I'll wait.

Juliet Forrest: You'd wine and dine her for information?

Rigby Reardon: Her? Him.

Rigby Reardon: [Gasping] What are you... doing?

Juliet Forrest: Adjusting your willie. When you fell through the window it shifted out of whack.

Rigby Reardon: Thanks.

Juliet Forrest: You're welcome.

Rigby Reardon: [narrating] I hadn't had my willie adjusted like that in a long time, especially without having to beg.

Juliet Forrest: Sometimes I feel I would like to...

Rigby Reardon: [voice-over] You'd like to what? Kiss me? Yeah, that would be nice. It would give me a chance to tell her I was starting to feel something for her, too. Something warm and squishy. But how could I explain that a man in my business can't take on a wife, have a bunch of kids?

Juliet Forrest: We wouldn't have to have kids.

Rigby Reardon: [surprised] What?

Rigby Reardon: [dressed as a woman] Do I look like a dame?

Juliet Forrest: Not as much as I do.

Rigby Reardon: [dressed as Jarrett's mother] What do you think?

Juliet Forrest: I think you enjoy dressing up as a woman.

Rigby Reardon: [voice-over] Was she real? There was only one way to find out. But I remembered Marlowe's words.

Rigby Reardon: [a picture frame on the wall reads "Don't Fall in Love with a Client. Marlowe"] What the hell does Marlowe know?

Rigby Reardon: [voice-over] She was real, all right.

Juliet Forrest: What are you doing?

Rigby Reardon: Adjusting your breasts. You fainted and they... shifted all outta whack. There.

Juliet Forrest: Thank you.

Rigby Reardon: You're welcome.