James Taylor Quotes in Funny People (2009)

James Taylor: Fuck Facebook!

Ira Wright: Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs, you know, over and over?

James Taylor: Do you ever get tired of talking about your dick?

George Simmons: You wanna fuck these girls?

James Taylor: I filled my quota in 1982, I believe.

Senator Joseph Paine: He can raise public opinion against us - if any part of this sticks...

James Taylor: Aah, he'll never get started. I'll make public opinion out there within five hours! I've done it all my life. I'll blacken this punk so that he'll - You leave public opinion to me. Now, Joe, I think you'd better go back into the Senate and keep those Senators lined up.

[when Smith is announced as the newly appointed Senator]

James Taylor: I want you to let the ballyhoo boys loose, plan a celebration, and declare a holiday.

Senator Joseph Paine: Jim, suppose we don't try to go through with this Dam? Suppose we postpone it until next session of Congress? Or, drop it altogether?

James Taylor: Oh, that'd be a crime, Joe. After all the work we've put in on it? Getting buried in this Deficiency Bill - as nicely as you please. Having it approved. It's rolling along. It was like taking candy from a baby.

Senator Joseph Paine: Is it worth the risk of a scandal?

James Taylor: I think we've got your man - Horace Miller.

Governor Hopper: Horace Miller!

Chick McGann: A born stooge! Why, ole Horace will preform like a trained seal.

Governor Hopper: But, Jim, if I throw a party man, like Horace Miller, in the face of those people...

James Taylor: For reasons I can't go into now, it's got to be Horace Miller. Do you understand? I've given you the man, now make out your ticket.

Governor Hopper: I won't let you stand there callously and perhaps wreck my whole political future!

James Taylor: Your political future? Why, I bought it for you. I gave it to you as a present and I can grab it back so fast it'll make your head swim! You've got a nerve to sit there and worry about your political future, when we're in a spot like this!

James Taylor: A Boy Ranger? A squirrel chaser to the United States Senate?

Governor Hopper: Listen, Jim, a simpleton of all times. A big eyed baby. Knows Lincoln and Washington by heart. Stands at attention in the Governor's presence. He even collects stray boys and cats.

James Taylor: He does what?

James Taylor: Chick, turn the ballyhoo boys loose. Its the greatest appointment ever made. Give a banquet and declare a holiday.

Governor Hopper: A star spangled banquet!

Chick McGann: Wow!

James Taylor: I wouldn't trust you to lick a postage stamp!

James Taylor: Hendricks, get the hoi polloi excited. Have them send protests, letters, wires, anything you like.