Jack Simpson Quotes in Crackerjack (2002)

Stan Coombs: And remember, this is a game of skill, touch and patience. A true revealer of character.

Jack Simpson: All it's revealing right now is two inches of arse-crack poking out the top of my pants!

Jack Simpson: Watch where you're going you hat wearing fool! Where did you learn to drive? On horseback?

Stan Coombs: [introducing Nance] Her name's Nance. In case your interested?

Jack Simpson: Am not, I've got a girlfriend.

Mandy: [walks in angrily] No you don't!

Jack Simpson: Mandy, what are you doing here?

Mandy: Returning your things.

[throws a pack of cigarettes into Jack's hands, Stan laughs]

Jack Simpson: [shouting to Mandy] Better all be here!

Supervisor: [about to review one of Jack's phone conversation] Why don't we listen into one of your calls shall we?

Jack Simpson: Excellent Idea

Jack Simpson: [over phone] Good afternoon, My name is Jack Simpson and you are a good-for-nothing layabout. Ha Ha!

Dave Jackson: [over phone] Hi Jack. How's it going?

Jack Simpson: Shithouse. I just had this idiot on the line going on and on, so i told her to blow it out her arse. Still on for later?

Dave Jackson: Yeah.

Jack Simpson: Okay, I'll see you at the bowls club. I told that dumbfuck supervisor I've got a migraine coming on, so I reckon I'll get the arvo off. Ha ha ha

[Supervisor stops recording]

Jack Simpson: [sarcastically] Maybe a little long but otherwise I'd give it an... 85.21%

Supervisor: Hmm. You're fired, Simpson.